


The Wrong Year

by Supreme_Thunder



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Roughness, Seduction, a hint of yakuza not really a major plot element if you're here for that i'm sorry, and sousuke's naughty fantasies and dreams pop up sometimes, light angst but flavored with smut, rejected confessions, side Kisumi/Haru, side Kou/Seijuro, side Rei/Nagisa, side relationships are kind of in the background this is primarily soumako
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 01:51:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 55,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2529617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supreme_Thunder/pseuds/Supreme_Thunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke Yamazaki has always gotten the shit end of life's stick. So of course, when he meets the love of his life, the timing is all wrong.<br/>Makoto is the son of a Yakuza boss, and Sousuke is a disgraced cop hired to be his driver/bodyguard. While Makoto appears like a naive, sweet boy in front of everyone, he exposes a much naughtier side of himself to Sousuke. What follows is a game of cat and mouse- with Makoto attempting to seduce Sousuke and get him to do his bidding, and Sousuke trying to hold on to a job he hates because he has nothing else to fall back on.<br/>When their mutual lust starts to take a serious turn, Makoto and Sousuke refuse to face their feelings, and hide behind their insecurities. Can they be together? Or will they let themselves drift apart, unable to admit their love for each other?<br/>For the purpose of this fic, Makoto is a university student, around 20/21, and Sousuke is 26.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One

**Author's Note:**

> "The Wrong Year" is a song by The Decemberists (Album: What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World).

“Nice to meet you, Yamazaki-san. Please take care of me.”

The boy is probably 20 years old. Bright green-eyes. An unusual color. Brown hair all over the place. And the sweetest face, almost angelic. He wears a yukata that matches his irises, and radiates innocent warmth in the room.

Sousuke nods curtly. This job is a desperate measure. Sousuke Yamazaki is 26. He used to be a cop. But that didn't last very long. Not because he was shot in the line of duty or anything. Nothing respectable like that. No, it was the most mundane thing actually. All his fault, too. Mother diagnosed with cancer, last stages, not enough money.

Sousuke, who always prided himself for his honest behavior, took a bribe. A small one. Just enough to cover the hospital expenses. He’d dug into his savings but it hadn’t been enough.

It had sounded so simple. Overlook a drug shipment passing through his precinct. 50,000 yen. Easy.

Only it wasn’t.

An undercover operation. Sousuke’s rank in the force had been too low to know about it. And that was that. Caught red-handed. Career over. Disgraced. Dumped by fiancee. Evicted from apartment.

His mother died anyway. The money had been useless, tainted. Sousuke could not forgive himself for it. 

And now here he was, standing in front of the thug he’d made the botched deal with. A gangster with a heart of gold or some crap like that. He’d taken pity on the mess Sousuke landed himself into. Offered him a job. Straightforward enough. Drive around his son to university and back. See that he didn’t get in trouble. Live in a deluxe apartment next to the boy’s to keep an eye on him. All expenses paid for. What was there to think about? If he’d fallen once already, why not go all the way, right down to the pit of hell?

An honourless lawman turned Yakuza brat’s babysitter. Great. Life is such a heartless bitch. 

“Makoto spends his weekends with the family. So you can drop him here Saturday morning and pick him back up Sunday evening. That way you get a free weekend all to yourself. For the rest of the week, Makoto has a pre-determined schedule to follow. You will be given a copy of it. He is not allowed to stray from it. His valet will cover the other details with you. I leave my son in your care. He is a good boy, and I’m sure he will be accommodating.” Tachibana-san gently nods at his son, and Makoto responds with a smile so sweet Sousuke feels as if he’s been diagnosed with diabetes just by looking at it.

He hates good boys. He hates people who smile all the time. He hates people who look as if they’re born with the sort of easy grace he can never have, however hard he tries. He is already exhausted with his new job.

As they pull out of the driveway in a sleek black car, Makoto stretches in the backseat, extending his limbs every which way. The yukata comes loose at the top, exposing a beautifully sculpted, tanned chest. Sousuke finds himself gaping at the vision in the rear view mirror.  And that’s not all. His boyish smile is gone. Makoto’s face is lax now, bored- his eyelids heavy, his plump lips pouting. This is not the first time Sousuke has been attracted to a man. There was that red-haired boy in high school, wasn’t there? Sharp teeth, pale skin.

Before Sousuke can snap out of it, Makoto catches him ogling. The bored expression vanishes. A different sort of smile slips onto his beautiful face. His green eyes twinkle, but he no longer looks like a winged cherub’s powdered bottom.

Locking eyes with Sousuke in the mirror, Makoto licks his lips in the most suggestive manner possible, his sharp pink tongue slowly caressing the soft pink arches of his mouth, leaving them glistening and wet. At the same time, he slips a hand inside his yukata, clearly teasing his right nipple. As a soft, clearly manufactured, moan escapes Makoto’s lips, Sousuke is struck with the ridiculous audacity of the situation he’s in.

Being seduced by the boss’s son.

He realizes that his face is red and his groin is starting to twitch. He is losing control of the situation, and that is not acceptable. How this heavenly creature turned into an experienced streetwalker within a matter of minutes is beyond him. Sousuke wonders what happened to Makoto’s previous bodyguard. He has a sudden vision of a helpless man screaming for mercy as Makoto’s father chops off his balls and cock with a samurai blade for violating his son’s honour.

This cannot be happening. The boy in the mirror is still teasing himself, threatening to undress at any moment. It’s now or never.

“Is something the matter, Makoto-kun? Are you itchy?” Keeping his voice as monotonous as possible, Sousuke narrows his eyes at Makoto’s reflection.

“Ummm. No.” Makoto was clearly not expecting this reaction. Slowly, his beguiling expression turns into one of annoyance.

“Oh good. We can always stop by the drugstore and get you something for it. Are you sure it’s fine? Maybe it’s a mosquito bite?” Sousuke adopts the most condescending tone he can conjure up at such short notice, the kind frustrated nannies use to deal with misbehaving children.

Makoto snorts in response and crosses his arms.

For the rest of the drive, the brunet acts huffy. Like an infant deprived of a favorite toy.

When they arrive at the posh apartment complex located conveniently close to Makoto’s university, he remains seated in the back with his eyebrows raised, long after Sousuke has gotten out of the car. In a sudden realization tinged with anger, Sousuke understands that he has to open the door for young master and let him out.

Groaning in frustration, he pulls the handle and Makoto climbs out. He is smirking derisively as he leans up to Sousuke, and thanks him for the drive in a breathy whisper. This close, Makoto radiates a sweet warmth, like a rose in full bloom. The scent emanating from him is at once masculine and feminine- a white musk tinged with soft floral tones. And on top of it all, the boy looks good enough to eat, really.

Sousuke has to fight back the urge to grab Makoto by the neck, push him against the car, and spread his legs apart right then and there.

_Stay calm. Stay in control._ Sousuke steadies his breathing and glares right back at Makoto.

“You’re welcome Makoto-kun. Now let’s go talk to your valet and find out what your bedtime is. We mustn’t let you tire yourself out. You have classes in the morning after all.” To add insult to injury, he gently pulls Makoto’s right cheek, smiling victoriously.

Thoroughly taken aback, Makoto stomps a sandaled foot, and hurries inside without waiting to look if Sousuke is following him.

Watching the tall, slim figure- gracefully draped in jade silk, swaying like a reed in the wind even in his angry haste- Sousuke sighs. He finally understands what karma is.

It’s going to be a long, painful journey.

 


	2. Day Five

Driving Makoto to university is more of a hassle than Sousuke first thought it would be.

Every morning, a dishevelled boy with dark circles under his eyes rushes out, followed by a distracted valet carrying his backpack, and gets into the car, shouting at Sousuke to speed it up. Every morning, Sousuke must have a mocha latte and sakura-flavored mochi waiting for Makoto, because he never wakes up early enough to enjoy the elaborate, traditional breakfast his chef prepares for him.

After speaking with Ryuugazaki, the very frowny valet who keeps fixing his glasses a lot, Sousuke realizes that he’s expected to follow Makoto around like a dog all day, and make sure he does what he’s supposed to. So basically, he’s not simply a driver or a bodyguard. He’s a glorified babysitter.

Ryuugazaki hands him a schedule book listing Makoto’s daily activities, wishes him luck, and walks away mumbling to himself.

At any rate, Sousuke wakes up early enough every morning to enjoy the rolled omelette, miso soup, mackerel, steamed rice and other delicious items prepared primarily for Makoto. At first he feels awkward eating on his own, but it’s somehow relaxing. He thanks his lucky stars that Makoto is not an early riser.

He should have waited before he got all complacent.

It happens on the fifth day of his new employment.

As Sousuke settles down for breakfast with his newspaper and a steaming cup of oolong tea, Makoto suddenly joins him at the table. For someone who is usually raining thunder and volcanic ash at 7 am, Makoto looks quite chipper. Sousuke is so stunned that Makoto is awake early for once, that a good 10 minutes go by before he notices that Makoto is wearing nothing but a pale pink silk robe. Nothing else at all. No t-shirt, no boxers, no nothing.

How does Sousuke know that?

Because he can see glimpses of Makoto’s family jewels under the glass table as the boy moves around purposely, crossing and uncrossing his legs, stretching his arms and yawning languidly.

Rolling his eyes visibly, Sousuke averts his gaze and takes a sip of tea. He raises the newspaper in front of his face so he doesn’t have to look at the display in front of him. Despite his growing aggravation with Makoto, he cannot help but be just a little bit enticed by the coyness of Makoto’s demeanor. Sousuke finds himself enjoying the effort that Makoto’s putting into getting his attention. He wants to see how long he can push the boy before Makoto ends up naked in his bed as a last resort, or gives up altogether.

His instincts tell him (quite accurately) that Makoto is doing this to get rid of him. Sousuke has been informed by Ryuugazaki that a number of bodyguards/babysitters have come and gone, though no one seems to fully understand why they don't stick around for long, given that Makoto is such a charming, caring boy.

Ryuugazaki’s expression suggested to Sousuke that there was more to Makoto than met the eye at first. Though Sousuke has a feeling that Ryuugazaki is too attached to his young master to openly badmouth him.

_This is my punishment_ , Sousuke tells himself. _For everything I’ve done wrong, this is how I pay for it._

Somehow, Sousuke thinks he won’t entirely mind if Makoto is driven to take desperate measures before he stops trying to seduce him…

A hazy image of Makoto starts to take shape inside Sousuke’s mind- a slightly messy, writhing Makoto in Sousuke’s bed, in a state of erotic disarray, his robe tangled around his waist, his toned legs spread apart, his chest and hard cock exposed to Sousuke’s appreciative gaze…

Alarms sound off in Sousuke's head, but they’re so distant, still so far away. Sousuke wonders if there’s time enough for a quick fuck before he’s carted off to prison, or wherever it is perverts who fantasize about beautiful young men they're supposed to be guarding are taken to be punished for their sins…

“Young master! For the love of…” Ryuugazaki’s agitated whine snaps Sousuke back to reality. He realizes that the newspaper is discarded in his lap, and he’s gazing off into space, drool starting to collect in his mouth, threatening to overflow at any instant.

“What is it Rei-san?” Makoto’s voice is dripping with feigned innocence, sounding utterly and genuinely perplexed. Almost.

“Y-you forgot your underpants, young master.” Rei sighs, sounding exhausted already. Sounding as if he’s had this conversation at the breakfast table one too many times.

Sousuke wonders how many other bodyguards have been treated to this private viewing of Cinema Makoto’s award-winning feature. He doesn’t like the idea of other men having seen what he’s just glimpsed.

Did Makoto end up in bed with one of them…

_Snap out of it Sousuke. This brat is trying to get you fired from day 1, and here you are getting jealous over how many people have seen his dick before you._

“Oh my God! Oh Rei-san, I’m so sorry! This is embarrassing. Sou-san I’m sorry if I offended you. I was just so pleased that I got up on time for once, I just rushed to have breakfast with you! I wanted to make you happy, so you could tell my father how good I’m being, so he’d be proud of me, you know.” Makoto performs this little speech with the perfect composure of a well-trained kabuki actor. His cheeks blush furiously as he pretends to shyly grab at the hem of his robe, squirming in his seat, trying oh so very hard to cover himself up.

The fake display of naiveté does nothing to impress either Rei or Sousuke.

Without a word, Rei points Makoto upstairs, ordering him back to his room.

Sousuke snorts derisively, finally returning to his usual air of indifferent annoyance, and resumes his breakfast.

Makoto looks at them both blankly and runs off, his ears burning red with the humiliation of defeat.

20 minutes later, Makoto’s in the backseat of the car, dressed in jeans (a little too tight) and a light green sweater (a little too clingy) the color of which suits him perfectly. Makoto has a knack for picking just the right clothes for himself. His long, wispy bangs are pinned back and away from his face with little hair clips. With little cats on them. He is wearing glasses with thick black frames and nursing a cup of steaming coffee, gazing out of the window listlessly. Every few moments, he takes a neat little bite of mochi, nibbling carefully-just like a spoiled kitten would.

This is the view of Makoto that Sousuke likes best. A distant, thoughtful expression on his serenely pretty face- cut off from the world, no longer pretending anything, no longer playing any games.

Sousuke smiles to himself. Somehow looking at Makoto this way is so much more intimate than the little demonstration from this morning.

Once they’re outside the campus, Makoto leaves the car quietly without a word.

Sousuke grins again, thinking that he’s finally broken Makoto, that he’s won.

If he only knew what Makoto was contemplating during the drive…

But then, Sousuke never did know when there was trouble heading his way.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up making use of my "Makoto likes to pin his hair back" thing as well. It kinda suits this characterization of Makoto, so I couldn't help it.


	3. Day Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little longer this time, because some new characters are introduced, and new relationships are set up in the background. Hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> In this AU, Makoto, Nagisa, Kisumi, and Kou (I'm using this spelling because she likes it better and has threatened her friends not to call her Gou ever) are the same age.  
> Rei, Sousuke, Haru, and Rin are in their late twenties.

Lately, Makoto has made a habit of bringing his friends home from university. If Sousuke thought Makoto alone was too much to handle, he was wrong. Very, very wrong. He now has to drive around  a small flock of brightly dressed, overly happy young adults all day long, catering to their multiple, often contradictory, whims.

“Is Haru-sensei really gonna be there Makoto? I thought after last time…” Nagisa, the blond one that reminds Sousuke of an obnoxious penguin, leans in to Makoto while he talks- a little too close.

“Of course he is. He cannot refuse me. Even though it was troublesome to get him to return this time, thanks to a certain someone who simply cannot keep it inside his pants around my precious sensei.” Makoto reaches over and punches Kisumi lightly in the arm. Kisumi is a pretty boy with cotton candy hair- the gaudy one with a thick gold chain around his neck, his see-through light pink shirt unbuttoned to reveal an unnecessary amount of chest, gold studs in both ears, and the most suggestively vulgar name Sousuke has ever heard.

Sousuke is also alarmed to hear Makoto calling out Kisumi on his lack of control. Is he worse than Makoto? How can anyone be worse than Makoto? Sousuke shudders visibly and says a quiet prayer for Haru-sensei. From Rei he has learned that Haru is an old friend of the Tachibana family, and often tutors Makoto and his friends as a favor. But mostly because he is very fond of Makoto. Sousuke cannot help but feel a twinge of jealousy every time Makoto lovingly says Haru’s name.

“Hush, all of you. It’s shameful to utter such nonsense in front of grownups.” Kou reaches out both hands, and simultaneously slaps Makoto and Kisumi in the backs of their pretty heads.

If Sousuke was feeling old before, he feels positively parental after hearing this.

“Kou! Don’t be mean!” Makoto massages his skull, while Nagisa giggles appreciatively.

“Sorry, Sou-san! What must you think of us. I apologize on behalf of us all.” The pretty, red-haired girl with jarringly familiar eyes nods at Sousuke in the rear-view mirror, offering a little bow and the sweetest smile. Well not the _sweetest_. That honor belongs to Makoto. Suddenly stunned at making this comparison, Sousuke blushes.

“Oi! Stop trying to charm _my_ Sou-san! You already have two Mikoshibas tagging along behind you.” Makoto obviously thinks Sousuke’s blush resulted from Kou’s words, and his nostrils flare. Even while angry, Makoto radiates an aura of beauty and refinement akin to a classical European painting. It’s hardly been two weeks and Sousuke is already in too deep.

“I can’t even tell them apart sometimes. How is it my fault that I can’t pick the one I can tolerate more?” Kou wrinkles her nose and huffs in annoyance.

“Shouldn’t you say you’ll the pick one you _like_ more?” Kisumi pulls at Kou’s ponytail and sticks his tongue out at her.

The chattering and laughing from the backseat is oddly soothing. Makoto seems genuinely happy when he’s surrounded by his friends, and Sousuke cannot help being pleased when Makoto is smiling.

Sousuke follows the energetic, laughing group into the condominium after they get home. Apparently Sousuke is supposed to be watching over them at all times, until Makoto is safe in bed, with all the locks and alarms in place.

Rei welcomes them all inside, though Sousuke notices that his face is a little flushed, and he’s trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

Even though Rei and Sousuke are still in their twenties, they both feel like a couple of elderly grandfathers in this youthful company. The combined charm and loveliness of Makoto and his friends seems ridiculously unfair and out of proportion to a normal person like Sousuke.

Rei pointedly sighs in Sousuke’s direction, and Sousuke grins understandingly in response.

The chef sets out an elaborate tea at the table, and they all jump over to gush at the food and examine the excessive variety of pastries set out in front of them. Sousuke sits at the head of the table where he’s supposed to, his newspaper propped up in front of him, enjoying a solitary sugarless cup of tea, and glancing over at Makoto every once in a while- just to make sure he’s okay.

“Rei-san! Why don’t you come join us too?” Nagisa chirps at the valet, who is standing beside the table, making sure everything has been served properly.

“Errr…No, thanks Hazuki. I’m fine here. I’ll be…um…right. I don’t think so…” Rei fumbles over a simple refusal so badly that they all look up from their tea and pastries simultaneously to stare at him.

“Oh, come on Rei-san! Just this once.” Makoto smirks devilishly and pouts at Rei. Makoto pouts a lot. Sousuke likes to see the plump cherub lips puffed out like that. They remind him of round little sakura-flavored candies. He wants to taste them…The candies! He means the candies! In his mind’s eye, Sousuke slaps himself.

“Why don’t you join us, Rei? I won’t feel so out of place if you do.” Sousuke looks over, slightly pleadingly.

Rei finally gives up and throws his hands in the air before sitting on Sousuke’s right.

“Sou-san, you’re great!” Nagisa beams at Sousuke, and with a deep sense of foreboding, Sousuke realizes he’s stepped into a mess he shouldn’t have meddled in.

Soon he understands why. As Makoto, Kisumi, and Kou smirk knowingly at one another, Nagisa takes it upon himself to serve Rei, leaving Makoto’s side to sit next to the very red-faced valet. Pouring tea, picking out pastries, even adjusting the napkin in Rei’s lap, spending a little too much time smoothing out its folds.

Sousuke glances up at Rei, horrified. Rei has the look of a martyr on a cross, who has already surrendered to his gruesome fate as the flames around him rise higher and higher.

In the midst of enjoying this spectacle, Makoto’s cell phone rings and he rushes upstairs to answer. When he returns to his friends, he looks visibly upset.

“Haru-sensei won’t be coming today. He isn’t feeling too well.” Makoto glares at Kisumi threateningly.

“How is him getting sick my fault?” Kisumi glares back, clearly agitated.

Makoto snorts and plops down on his chair, stuffing an entire strawberry tart into his mouth. His tongue darts out of his mouth to lick the stray cream from his lips. Sousuke stares heedlessly. Luckily, everyone is too saddened by the news to pay attention to him.

 “It is pretty obvious that he isn’t coming because of you Kisumi. You went too far last time.” Kou clucks her tongue impatiently before returning to her chocolate pudding.

“Hmph. I didn’t do anything _that_ bad.” Kisumi blushes as he pushes away his tea. Sousuke almost chokes on his lukewarm oolong. Is it possible for Kisumi to blush?

“But…he is coming tomorrow instead. Probably because he thinks you won’t be here anymore.” Makoto frowns in Kisumi’s direction.

“Oh but you’ll let me stay, right? Please, Mako? Please? No more untowardly behavior! I promise! Please Mako!!!” Kisumi goes down on his knees, rather dramatically, in front of Makoto, clasping his hands together and pleading.

“You mean you won’t try to stick your tongue down my pure, untainted sensei’s throat again?” Makoto narrows his eyes at Kisumi suspiciously.

“You know how that went, Mako. He said my name. He usually just calls me Shigino-kun. So when he said ‘Kisumi’ in that dreamy, monotonous voice, how could I resist? It’s not as if he doesn’t know I have a 24/7 hardon for him. I’ve written him several detailed notes to that effect, you know.” Kisumi’s eyes twinkle, showing that he doesn’t feel bad about what he’s done in the past whatsoever, and has no intention of giving up in the future.

“Ugh. You’re a monster. Fine, stay! I’m assuming you two will want to sleepover as well?”  Makoto gives in a little too easily in Sousuke’s opinion.

“Oh how wonderful! We haven’t had a proper sleepover in months!” Kou claps her hands happily.

“I call sharing with Kou-chan!” Nagisa quickly leaps over to her, putting his arms around her neck.

“What? No, wait! No no no! You can’t do that to me!” Makoto looks terrified at being stuck with Kisumi. Sousuke cannot help but share that feeling. He doesn’t trust Kisumi. Not even for a second. Not where his precious charge is concerned.

“Too late, Mako-chan!” Nagisa gloats in a sing-song voice.

“No fair. You all treat me as some sort of a pariah. A deviant even.” A pouting Kisumi is nowhere near as convincing as a pouting Makoto.

“That’s because you are. A sexual deviant.” Makoto kicks at Kisumi playfully. Sousuke and Rei groan simultaneously as they share a weary glance. The rest collapse in fits of renewed giggling.

How can they all giggle so much and so continuously? It’s like they have no worries at all. Sousuke wants to wring their spoiled little necks and talk some sense into them.

For dinner, they insist that Sousuke drive them to a ramen joint they all love. Sousuke refuses initially, but they keep pestering him. Finally, with a very insistent Nagisa rubbing his head against Sousuke’s shoulder, he gives in. Though it’s mostly because he’s scared of the way Rei is coldly observing the physical closeness between him and Nagisa.

Makoto grabs a hold of the blond and drags him away from Sousuke, wearing a glare matching Rei’s.

These people and all their twisted relationships. Sousuke feels tangled in a web of complicated emotions and undefined passions. It’s all too much.

When Rei refuses to join them for dinner, Nagisa sulks all evening. Retuning to Makoto’s place, comfortably full, they all look tired and a little sad. Sousuke feels like he’s ushering around a box full of abandoned kittens instead of fully grown human beings. Depositing them safely in Rei’s care and making sure all the doors and windows are locked properly, Sousuke retires to bed with a book. He usually smokes a cigarette on the balcony before going to sleep, but tonight he feels strangely complacent with his life. He doesn’t feel the usual need to numb his anxieties.

An hour later, he is so thoroughly absorbed in the detective novel he’s reading that he doesn’t even hear his bedroom door open. He does not realize he has an intruder until Makoto is crawling into bed next to him.

His own living quarters are connected to Makoto’s in case there’s an emergency and he needs quick access to the boy.

Makoto is wearing a fluffy robe with sleeping kittens on it, and a very sleepy look on his face.

Sousuke jumps out of bed immediately, uttering a high-pitched squeal.

“What happened? Did you see a mouse? Or did you just realize you’re a really shit bodyguard?” Makoto eases himself under the blanket rubbing his eyes and stifling a cute little yawn.

“What are you doing in my bed?” Sousuke gapes at Makoto uncomprehendingly.

“Trying to sleep, obviously. Kisumi is a pain. He kicks a lot, and sometimes he tries to feel me up, so it’s a pain when I’m trying to get some rest.” Makoto slips out of his robe and Sousuke almost stop breathing. Under the innocent robe, Makoto is wearing nothing but a pair of plaid boxers.

“Well, you’re not sleeping here. Especially not in that state.” Sousuke places his hands on his hips, trying to look forceful. It doesn’t work.

“Fine, then give me one of your shirts.” Makoto cocks an eyebrow, refusing to budge.

“Get out, now. Or I’ll call Rei.” Sousuke feels like he has no choice but to threaten the fool currently occupying his bed. The very beautiful fool, with a lean yet toned body, pale and creamy complexion all over, with nipples that look like little buds of milk chocolate…

“And tell him what? That you want me removed from your bed now that you’ve had your way with poor little me? There is going to be plenty of time for me to remove my underwear before he gets here, you knows…” Makoto smiles a perverse smile as he reaches towards his crotch, looking as if he’s ready to make good on his words.

“Is there any way I can win with you?” Giving in, Sousuke picks up one of his discarded t-shirts from the floor and throws it at Makoto.

“Nope. So stop trying. It makes you look sad and a little bit middle-aged.” Makoto pulls on the t-shirt which is a tad big on him, since Sousuke prefers to wear loose-fitted clothing, and has much wider shoulders than Makoto. Even after quitting the force, Sousuke has kept up his physique. He’s used to being fit and well-built since his competitive swimming days in school.

“Any funny business, and I _will_ call Rei. Whatever the consequences.” Shaking his head, he gets back into bed next to Makoto.

“I just want to not be kicked awake every half hour. And both the nice bedrooms are occupied. And if I try shacking up with Rei, Nagisa will probably slit my throat. So you don’t have to be such a grouch about it.” Makoto snuggles up inside the blanket, making a contended face at Sousuke.

“Whatever. I’m still reading though, so I’ll keep the lights on a bit longer.” Sousuke’s head is starting to feel light and fuzzy. Makoto’s light, sweet perfume is permeating his bed and his senses.

He did not sign up for this. Definitely not.

“That’s fine. I don’t mind. Do you smoke, by the way? I can smell it on your shirt. It’s nice. Comforting.” Makoto lifts the fabric up, bringing it close to his nose, inhaling Sousuke’s scent.

“Stop that. That’s not…” Sousuke feels his face heating up, strange inappropriate images involving Makoto threatening to take shape inside his head again.

Makoto just laughs and turns around, bidding Sousuke goodnight.

Sousuke sighs in relief as he returns to his book.

The temporary relief of a poor rabbit who thinks he’s avoided one trap set by the hunter, only to fall into the next one.


	4. Day Twenty

Makoto is in a bad mood, having fought with Kisumi. Something to do with Haru-sensei again, a still-mysterious person whom Sousuke has yet to meet. He never did show up that weekend, even though Makoto especially excused himself from a visit home and arranged a sleepover for his friends.

And crept into Sousuke’s bed.

Though when Sousuke woke up in the morning, Makoto was long gone. Along with his t-shirt. And Sousuke felt it would be highly inappropriate to ask for it to be returned to him.

Either Makoto has forgotten all about that night. Or he wants to remember that night and is holding on to Sousuke’s shirt for that reason. Sousuke finds himself picturing Makoto wearing nothing but his t-shirt, lying in bed alone, the hem clenched between his teeth to expose his torso, playing with his nipple with one hand and stroking himself with the other…

Softly moaning Sousuke’s name.

Sousuke has to shower twice that morning, and is late for breakfast.

Since the weekend Haru-sensei failed to make an appearance, Sousuke has noticed a strained distance growing between Kisumi and Makoto. Even though Sousuke considers Kisumi a bad influence over Makoto, the fact remains that the two are childhood friends, and essential to each other’s happiness. So Sousuke takes it upon himself to cheer Makoto up.

Because that’s how smitten he is, and he can’t really ignore the strange palpitations of his heart caused by Makoto anymore. Even though he is in denial about his feelings for the most part.

At first Sousuke doesn’t think it’s much of a gesture, really. He doubts Makoto would even notice it. He buys a small box of chocolates from a shop Makoto frequents, and leaves it on the backseat, a little green ribbon tied around the box.

Makoto picks up the little box and observes it with mild curiosity before putting it back on the seat. He immediately calls up Nagisa and starts talking to him about Kisumi and other things that Sousuke is completely clueless about. It’s as if Makoto has refused to acknowledge the little present.

Squaring his shoulders, Sousuke takes care to keep his face straight, to not let the hurt he’s feeling show. He has a sneaking suspicion that Makoto glances his way once, but he is too focused on feigning indifference to be sure of it.

After Sousuke drops Makoto off at his university, the little box is still on the backseat. Sousuke’s face turns red- partly out of anger, partly from humiliation. He decides to leave it there until the chocolates rot and damned if he cares.

While Makoto is attending classes, there isn’t much Sousuke can do. At first, he was instructed to attend Makoto’s classes with him, but the boy put his foot down, yelled at his father over the phone about “unnecessary restrictions to a young adult’s freedom”, and Sousuke was spared the humiliation of carrying around Makoto’s books and backpack, following him about campus like a devoted puppy.

So now while Makoto does whatever he does at university, Sousuke usually hangs around at an off-campus café, having cup after cup of black coffee and buttered croissants. At this rate, he’ll get fat in no time. But the strange comfort of this new life draws him in and makes him blind to the life of adversity he’s had to suffer so far.

Mediocrity, a shitty job, no reputation, no talent, no one to go home to, and stupidly enchanted by a pretty brat who won’t give him the time of day except to tease him, and attempt to get him fired.

Things definitely never end up the way you think they will when you’re 15, full of life, looking forward to your future as a promising athlete, planning to share it with a best friend you love ardently and write shitty poems about and then throw them out.

Makoto’s life as a teenager must have been so very different than his. Sousuke wonders how it’d be to live that kind of life- no worries, no cares, everything you wish for at your feet, good friends who never leave you and fuck off to Australia and you never really see them again, and when you do it’s not the same and you just sit there wondering what the fuck happened to your ambitions and your hopes….

At around 3 in the afternoon, Sousuke picks himself up a bento from a supermarket, parks outside the campus, and eats it while waiting for Makoto to come back. He almost falls asleep after eating, waiting for Makoto to come out.

It takes the boy another hour, and Sousuke is woken by the sound of Makoto tapping impatiently on the rolled-up window.

“Oh, shit, sorry. I drifted off.” Sousuke mumbles a careless apology as he unlocks the car.

“Don’t push yourself, Sou-san. You do know you suck at your job, right? You’re supposed to check up on me if I’m late. But here you are, diligently sleeping.” Makoto is pouting again as he plops onto the backseat with his arms crossed, throwing his backpack aside. Those lips should be illegal, really.

“Yeah, yeah. As if you were in any danger in the last hour. If anyone kidnaps you, they’ll either shoot themselves in the face after spending 15 minutes with you, or throw you right back into my lap.” Sousuke chuckles derisively as he starts the car.

“You’d like to have me in your lap, wouldn’t you?” Makoto sticks out his tongue at Sousuke in the rear-view mirror.

“Dream on, brat.” Sousuke fights back an onslaught of stuttering denials and blood rushing to his head, managing to look stoically annoyed at Makoto instead.

“Hmph. You’re no fun. Hey can we stop for some ice cream on the way home? I already had lunch at the campus cafeteria with Nagisa. But I need some dessert.” Makoto has a deadly sweet tooth. Even in such a short time working as Makoto’s babysitter, Sousuke has been sent out at least 4 times in the middle of the night for chocolate.

“Ugh. Fine. I’m only saying okay because I know you won’t shut up otherwise. How did your parents ever deal with you, honestly?” Sousuke shakes his head in disbelief.

“They didn’t. I was always pawned off to nannies and bodyguards. I have to say, none of them have given as few shits about their job as you have. It’s charming, almost.” Makoto grins happily.

“Well, this job isn’t exactly ideal for me, you know. But I deserve it. Dealing with a spoiled little boy like you 24/7. Serves me right.” Sousuke pulls into the parking lot outside a convenience store, and Makoto jumps out before he can be stopped.

Sousuke sighs and walks after his charge, browsing the newsstand while Makoto picks out an assortment of cheap candies and a bubble gum flavored popsicle.

Back inside the car, Makoto proceeds to give his popsicle the most intense blowjob Sousuke has ever witnessed. The way this impudent boy is simulating oral sex on a piece of sweet frozen ice is awe-inspiring. Sousuke almost runs a red light as he watches Makoto lick the tip slowly with his tongue, before shoving the whole thing in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down without pausing to breathe, taking it deep into his throat. The popsicle begins to melt, and strands of Makoto’s salvia tinged with blue food coloring drip down his chin.

_This kind of behavior would make anyone hard, right? Right?_

Makoto knows what he’s doing, and his reflection in the mirror winks at Sousuke, his pink tongue running up and down the length of the half-finished popsicle.

Sousuke suddenly wonder where Makoto learned to do something like this.

He’s had fellatio performed on him before, but the way Makoto just handled that popsicle…Sousuke feels like _that_ would feel akin to a host of angels carrying him off to heaven as he cums all over Makoto’s face…

Pulling into the building’s underground garage, Makoto gets out, smiling almost lasciviously at Sousuke. Before he leaves, he picks up the chocolates Sousuke got him and shakes the box in his hand, making it rattle.

“Try harder next time, and maybe you’ll get to feel like that popsicle.” He turns around and walks away from the car, swinging his backpack.

Sousuke sits in the car, unable to move, his cock hard as a rock.

_This fucking brat._

It’s not like Sousuke’s in love with him or anything. It’s just that…Sousuke would very much to bend Makoto over on his bed, push his pretty face into a pillow and thrust into his asshole repeatedly, until they’re both….

He cannot possibly jerk off in the car, so it’s an awkward trip back to his living quarters, shielding his erection behind a newspaper while it threatens to rip the seams on his pants and cover his crotch with his own ejaculate.

_Perks of the job, eh?_


	5. Character Profiles: Pt. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put together some notes on the characters for my own pleasure and writing reference, which I will be sharing in between updates here. Pt I. consists of Makoto and Sousuke ofc. If you guys enjoy reading this, please leave comments, and I'll put up Rei and Nagisa next, probably.  
> 

** Makoto Tachibana **

  * **Favorite Color:** Green. Duh.
  * **Favorite Animal:** Cats. Also whales.
  * **Major:** Double majorin Classical Japanese literature and World History.  
  * **Family’s Expectations:** Probably end up a social butterfly, using up his trust fund by the time he’s 35, and mooching off parents and younger siblings afterwards. Father has already given up all hopes of him inheriting the family business, but spoils him rotten anyway. Mother knows he’s gay and hopes he will end up with Nagisa. Anyone but Kisumi really. She does _not_ want Kisumi for a son-in-law.     
  * **Actual Ambitions:** Wants to be aschool teacher (He loves kids but he doesn’t love them enough to have his own because ew diapers and snot and all of the crying), published writer, chocolatier, cat trainer, whale song recorder. Is that even a thing? Who cares, he’ll make it a thing. You can’t set limits on what he can and can’t do. He dares you.       
  * **Ideal Partner:** Taller than him. Just that. He can manage the rest because he is very confident that he can charm anyone into his doing his bidding. He’s an uke but he likes to be in control of the situation.
  * **Preferred kissing style:** Sitting in partner’s lap (another reason for partner to be taller than him, and just as well or better built), arms around each other, slowly tasting each other’s tongues, and then getting really hot and heavy, and sloppy and breathless, etc. etc.
  * **Cuddling:** Yes. All the time. He doesn’t want to be a big spoon though because he liked being held and spoiled.         
  * **Extras:** He is still a virgin, technically. But he has given and received oral sex and messed around with many equally inexperienced partners. He likes collecting Alpacassos and Rei had to lock them up in a cabinet because he kept shitting himself every time he walked into Makoto’s room and found those beady eyes staring back at him. Makoto is allowed to take one out to cuddle with at night, which he thinks is very unfair. He is also banned from keeping pets because Rei is allergic to almost everything in the universe. Once a month, Makoto goes shopping with his mother and tells her all the latest gossip he’s gleaned from his friends over pastries and sandwiches and afternoon tea.  He wants to eventually give up his wild ways and settle down with an older man- ideally a rich entrepreneur who will lavish him with more Alpacassos and never question anything he does. 



 

 

 ** Sousuke Yamazaki ** **:**

  * **Favorite Color:** Black? Maybe blue. But the dark kind. Masculine, you know. None of that baby blue pastel shit.
  * **Favorite Animal:** He’s not 5 years old anymore so who the fuck cares, you know? Used to be whale sharks. Who the fuck knows why though? He’s damned if he can remember. That’s just a stupid thing to ask a grown-ass man, honestly. Kittens, though. Yeah. Small, fluffy ones. Yeah. Kinda. You know. 
  * **Major:** Political Science and a minor in Criminology. It’s not like he was smart or anything. He got shit grades anyway, but hey, he did get a piece of shit degree out of it. What’s he supposed to do with it now though? Wipe his ass or something? Eh, who cares.   
  * **Family’s Expectations:** Mom’s dead now, but she had high hopes. Didn’t know he was disgraced. He hid it to the end. Dad doesn’t care for him much anymore. They don’t even talk on the phone, really. Sousuke hasn’t visited his hometown in years now.
  * **Actual Ambitions:** Keep this cushy job for as long as possible without getting jumped by this damned brat. Save up the money and fuck off to a coastal town at 45, buy a small place by the sea and a fishing boat and die old and alone ‘cause fuck it all, you know. 
  * **Ideal Partner:** No one. He’s done with partners. First that fucking shark boy then his fucking fiancée. Everyone fucks off in the end anyway, so what the hell does he care. He’d rather fuck strangers on weekends and never see them again. Casual sex. Yeah, that’s the way to do. Fill this hole in his heart with coffee and cigarettes and good sake.  
  * **Favorite kissing style:** Pushing some damn brat against the wall real hard, shove his hands under their t-shirt, twist those nipples around, grinding crotches together, just sucking their tongue until he’s got them begging for more, totally smitten by his rough charm. Yeah, that sounds about right.
  * **Cuddling:** Heh. Not for him. Who wants to put their arms around that nice, toned waist, smelling that sweet cherry blossom scent from that pretty soft hair, feeling that cute little butt squirming against his crotch as they sleep together in a warm bed after they’ve had sex? Not Sousuke, that’s for sure        
  * **Extras:** Hasn’t had many partners. Two women (his high school girlfriend and his fiancée), and there was that one guy in the club that one time. As long as he feels good. Hasn’t gotten laid since he started working as Makoto’s babysitter, ‘cause he rarely gets any time to himself. All because of that green-eyed devil, dammit. At this point, he’d just like to be left the fuck alone and die in peace, you know. He loves reading detective novels and historical stuff about samurais. And sometimes manga. Like, you know, Sailor Moon. That shit is deep as fuck.



 


	6. Day Twenty-Three

After that rousing little experience which had Sousuke jerking off in the shower approximately 3 times, thinking of screwing the impudent brat (he was actually supposed to be protecting) into a state of erotic senselessness, Sousuke refrained from trying to cheer Makoto up. The boy was pretty good at cheering himself up. At the cost of Sousuke’s dignity/sanity, mostly.

Friday night a storm rages outside- lightning reflected in the towering glass skyscrapers of the metropolis, thunder resounding over the bustle of traffic. Nagisa and Makoto are huddled up together on the living room couch watching a shitty movie and throwing popcorn at the gigantic plasma screen, screaming gleefully at the atrocious dialogue.

Sousuke and Rei sit at the table sharing coffee and despair.

When the bell rings, Sousuke and Rei both straighten up, looking slightly alarmed. They’ve been informed of some trouble with another group- some kind of territorial dispute. It’s not unheard of to kidnap the loved ones of a boss to get him to meet certain demands.

Turn out it’s only Kou though, shouting through the intercom to “Let her in, already, geez.” She rushes forward, almost slamming Rei into the wall as he hurriedly opens the door for her, dragging Kisumi by his left ear. Haru follows them, slightly smirking, hands in his coat pockets, showering everyone in the room with a muted charm that almost borders on being enchanting. He is a beautiful man, and refined. Even Sousuke cannot deny it.

“Haru-sensei!” Both Nagisa and Makoto jump up and attack him, hugging him simultaneously. Rei sighs as he grabs a hand vacuum and starts cleaning up the remains of the upturned bowl of popcorn from the carpet. Nagisa takes Haru’s coat with much loving care.

“Well, I finally made it. And how have you kittens been? Naughty or nice?” Despite being group-hugged almost violently by Nagisa and Makoto, Sousuke cannot help but notice that not a hair on Haru’s head is out of place. He looks immaculate. Pristine. Like a pretty vase in a rich lady’s sitting room. Like, damn.

“Nice. _I’ve_ been nice, Haru-chan! These two though. They’ve been fighting.” Nagisa distances himself from Makoto, pointing at him and Kisumi.

“Traitor!” Makoto pushes Nagisa lightly, letting out a shocked little gasp of feigned betrayal.

“Kou already said. Well, I am not here as a peacemaker. That’s her job. I was told there was an awful movie to be watched and made fun of, and some beef curry. Oh, and that lovely sponge cake you always have in your pantry. How about it, Rei?” Haru quite literally strolls to the couch and sits on it with his legs crossed- a king ready to rule his kingdom.

Kisumi contemplates sitting next to Haru for a second, but meets Makoto’s glaring gaze and changes his mind. Kou takes the place of honor, throwing off her heels and making herself comfortable beside Haru. Rei is done cleaning the carpet, so Makoto and Nagisa quickly sit on the floor on either side of Haru. Curled up complacently, so close to Haru, Makoto looks less like a cat, and more like an obedient little doggie. Sousuke does not approve of this unexpected change in the boy’s behavior.

Kisumi sits a little further away from Makoto, facing Haru. Sousuke finally realizes what’s been bothering him about Kisumi’s appearance since he walked in. He is not wearing his usual gold studs or his chain tonight. Instead of his preferred variety of clothing- which usually include v-neck t-shirts cut really low, silk vests, really really tight jeans (or really really short shorts)- Kisumi is actually wearing a crisp white button-down shirt (with all the buttons actually buttoned) and a pair of dark jeans which do not threaten to rip at the crotch, exposing his bulge.

This must be for Haru’s benefit, surely. Sousuke cackles inwardly. Anything that makes Kisumi behave like a human being, really.

Sousuke hasn’t bothered getting up to greet Haru. It’s Haru who notices him, sitting by himself, aloof, slightly amused at the scene in the living room.

“New babysitter?” Haru cocks an eyebrow at Sousuke, clearly entertained.

“I guess so, yeah.” Sousuke chuckles in response.

“How long since you started?” Haru’s voice is authoritative, strong. Despite being peeved at this interrogation, Sousuke feels oddly duty-bound to answer him.

“Almost a month, I think.” Sousuke scratches his head like a disgruntled schoolboy, angry at himself for being in awe of Haru. Despite the fact that his job requires him to wear a white shirt and black suit (though no tie) at all times, he still feels underdressed, almost like a peasant, in front of the lordly Haruka-sensei in his cashmere cardigan and designer jeans.

“Lasted that long, eh? Impressive.” Haru grins down at Makoto’s bright face, ruffling his hair. Sousuke feels like he’s been dismissed, and shrinks back into himself, huffy with neglect.

Rei understandingly pats Sousuke’s shoulder before rushing off to the kitchen to carry out the dinner and dessert order issued by Haru. Sousuke cannot help but notice that while Nagisa’s eyes usually follow Rei around the room all of the damn time, currently, the impish blond cannot see anything past Haru. But unlike Sousuke, Rei doesn’t seem to mind. Sousuke figures he’s probably used to it.

“Now that Rei-san is off to provide us with viands and some choice sake, I hope, let’s get back to business, shall we?” Kou redirects attention to herself at long last.

“As you command, my queen.” Makoto offers her a mock bow, smiling compliantly.

“Okay then. I order you two vagabonds to kiss and make up.” Kou sits upright on the couch, staring daggers at Kisumi and Makoto, daring them to disobey.

“As you wish, my queen.” With another little bow, Makoto gets on all fours and covers the distances between him and Kisumi in a swift instant. The next thing Sousuke knows, Makoto is sticking out his tongue and Kisumi is sucking on it ardently, his fingers in Makoto’s hair, both of them making the most arousing, no wait, the most lewd, moaning sounds. Makoto’s back is arched, like a cat in heat, and his chest is heaving from the intensity of the kiss. When they finally separate, Sousuke swears to himself that he can see a strand of saliva glistening between their retreating lips.

What is even more stunning is the reaction of the other spectators. Nagisa claps and Kou smiles happily. Haru lightly smacks Makoto on the head, calling him a “naughty little devil.”

“So Haru-sensei. Did you like our little show? Would you like to sample the goods as well?” No matter how conservatively Kisumi dresses, he still manages to look like a pimp and talk like a hooker.

“No thank you. I don’t indulge in such displays of unnecessary affection.” Despite his well-composed straight face, Sousuke can see Haur’s lips twitching with suppressed amusement.

“Wait, does this mean you two are still sleeping together?” Kou’s eyes go wide as she leans forward.

“Excuse you! When were we sleeping together like ever?” Makoto licks his lips before answering. A wholly unnecessary gesture, Sousuke thinks, as he feels his traitorous cock beginning to stir in his pants.

“We were meeting up to mutually relieve our sexual frustrations, that’s all. No penetration or anything.” Kisumi quips innocently.

“Well, if you do anything serious, make sure you use condoms, please.” Nagisa shakes his head concernedly.

“As if! I would never let this demon inside my precious butthole.” Makoto pouts again, looking put-off by Nagisa’s implication.

_So he is a bottom. That’s perfect, really. No I mean…Ah, fuck it, I wanna fuck him, I really do._

Trying not to think of Makoto on all fours with his little pink tongue sticking out, Sousuke pretends he hasn’t heard the conversation at all. He keeps sipping his lukewarm coffee, staring out of the large glass window as the rain blurs the city into a foggy mirage.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can swear Makoto is looking his way from time to time, but Sousuke ignores him completely. Letting that disgusting boy kiss him like that, in front of everyone. How cheap.

Despite Makoto’s many pleadings to stay the night, everyone leaves after dinner.

Sousuke doesn’t look at Makoto at all before heading back to his own bedroom with an angry sigh. What does the boy want from him anyway if he’s got his precious Kisumi’s cock to suck?

Once Sousuke changes into his pajamas and settles into bed, he remembers leaving his book on the dinner table. Normally he wouldn’t bother, but tonight he really needs to distract himself.

Quietly, wearing soft-soled slippers, Sousuke tiptoes into the living room and almost falls on his face at the sight in front of him. Though the lights have been turned off, Sousuke can still see a completely naked Nagisa (who is supposed to be on his way home with Kou) sitting in Rei’s lap (who is clearly pants-less) - both men lit up by the background glow of the myriad city lights.

Nagisa’s tongue is in Rei’s mouth as he grinds his slim hips slowly against what Sousuke can only imagine is Rei’s hard cock. Rei is clawing at Nagisa’s back, his glasses off, his rough breathing audible through the dark. Luckily, they’re too wrapped up in each other to notice Sousuke, who is too thunderstruck to move.

“You need to be punished, you little twerp.” Rei whispers into Nagisa’s ear, slapping his buttocks lightly, making Nagisa squeal delightedly.

“Unhh, yeah, Rei-chan…I’m a naughty little boy who needs your cock…Please…Unh…” Nagisa’s motions become more and more frantic with every word.  

“Will you look at another man while I’m in the room again? Would you rather have your Haru-sensei’s cock in you than mine?” Rei hisses, gripping Nagisa’s hips and pulling him closer.

“N-No…Unh…Only yours, Rei-chan…Unh…Unh…” Nagisa reaches up and their lips meet, both of them kissing desperately to muffle the sounds of their approaching climax.

Turning around as swiftly as he can, Sousuke hurries back to bed.

He is too confounded by what he’s just witnessed to even be turned on by any of it.

These people and their strange entanglements. He’ll never get used to any of this.


	7. Day Twenty-Four

Makoto’s dreams are surprisingly childish for someone who tries so hard to act so explicitly grown up.

This particular night, he finds himself having a romp with a council of alpacassos and a black kitten with a nasty attitude. Every time Makoto reaches out to pet him, the angry kitten tries to claw his eyes out.

It is certainly inappropriate when two of the alpacassos start making weird sex sounds, and then Makoto wakes up, very confused and a little bit aroused.

It’s definitely not because of the alpacassos though. That would just be wrong. Then Makoto remembers helping Nagisa sneak back in after everyone else left, so the blond imp could spend the night with Rei. Of course, despite promises of discretion, those two always take it too far when they get down to business, and forget that someone else might be listening.

But why is it different tonight? Makoto has heard them going at it like a couple of horned up rabbits so many times before without any reaction at all. Is it because of the kiss with Kisumi? Ugh, that boy’s name is just a bad pun waiting to happen. Nah, that couldn’t be it. Sure, Makoto and Kisumi explored their budding sexualities together when they were growing up. Especially because Makoto was very confused about himself, and Kisumi definitely helped him come to terms with his homosexuality. But Makoto never got turned on by him anymore. It was more like innocent play, really. And the evening’s demonstration had been carried out at Kisumi’s prior request, aimed at making Haru jealous. Kisumi batted for both teams, and rarely got serious about anyone. Except Haru.

But that does not explain the fact that Makoto is hard right now, and squirming around, desperate for immediate release. Even though the suggestive sounds from downstairs have stopped, Makoto is still very agitated, and his erection is starting to hurt, begging to be taken care of. He falls back into bed with a frustrated groan and pulls down his underwear, gripping his cock with both hands. Stroking and then tugging, he rolls around but it’s not enough. He reaches into the bottom drawer of his nightstand and finds what he’s looking for. Without bothering to look for lube, he inserts the pink dildo into his mouth, covering it with his own saliva. Using first one, then two, then three fingers to stretch out his entrance, Makoto inserts the dildo with a gasp. As he begins to move it inside himself, he closes his eyes,  anticipating the approaching burst of ecstasy. So when he gets close to an orgasm, and hears himself gasping “Sou-san”, his eyes flick open and go wide, and he cums all over himself with a tiny little yelp of disbelief.

This cannot be happening, right? He has teased almost all of his so-called bodyguards before, the useless lot of them. Some ran off with their tails between their legs, and some tried to aggressively come on to him. Either way, he managed to get rid of them in two weeks tops. This one though, no matter what Makoto tried, he refused to budge.

And now this.

And then the door flings open without a warning and Sousuke barges in.

For a good minute they both stare at each other wordlessly.

“Oh, for the love of God! What is wrong with you?” Sousuke quickly turns around, but not before he fully takes in the sight before him. Makoto’s panting body, his own cum covering his toned stomach, underwear pulled down around his thighs, and a (pink???) dildo shoved up his asshole. First that little after-dinner entertainment courtesy of Nagisa and Rei, and now this. It’s just too much for Sousuke to handle.

“S-sorry. But what are you doing in my room? At this hour? Without asking for my permission before walking in on me like this? Are you a pervert?” For someone who has just been caught jerking off, Makoto regains control of the situation fairly quickly.

“We need to leave. Now.” Sousuke turns around cautiously to face Makoto again, looking clearly relieved to see him hiding under his comforter.

“Leave? What are you babbling about? Are you asking me to elope with you? Because it’s…” Before Makoto can complete the sentence, Sousuke grabs firmly him by the shoulder and drags him out of bed. The dildo hits the floor with a humiliating clattering sound, and Makoto almost falls on his face trying to pull his underwear back on.

“You. From this point on, you shut that snotty little mouth of yours, and you do what I tell you. If you want to keep breathing, that is.” Sousuke pushes him into the washroom, showing no signs of relenting or explaining himself.

Before Makoto can get over being manhandled and shouted at by Sousuke, Rei barges into the room, fully dressed and looking very frantic.

“Are you two ready to go? The bags are in the car. This is the address. If you need to contact me, use this burner. Otherwise, stay quiet, stay hidden.” Rei hands Sousuke a cheap black cellphone as he talks.

“What’d you do with your boytoy?” Sousuke narrows his eyes at Rei, who gapes at being asked such a direct question.

“I..Err…I’m going to stay with him until this blows over. He’s already gone home. I’ll meet him at his apartment once I think it’s safe.” Rei blushes a deep shade of purple to match his hair.

“Makoto, what is taking you so long? We need to leave. Now!” Sousuke barks another command.

Makoto re-emerges from the bathroom wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Sousuke’s t-shirt, to be precise. And a hint of a blush.

“Err, sorry I couldn’t find anything else.” Makoto’s blush deepens, but Sousuke doesn’t even register his appearance, which is unusual. Inexplicably, Makoto feels his heart sink.

“No. This is fine, Makoto. It looks common enough.” Rei smiles reassuringly.

“Okay. Quick summary of the situation, and then you shut your yapper or I will gag you, I swear. Your family is being threatened. There was an attempted attack on your house. Fortunately, everyone escaped and went underground just in time. We are afraid you might be the next target. Therefore, in simple terms, I am taking you into hiding. Until this blows over, and your father gives the all clear. A disturbance within the ranks. Some uppity subordinate trying to usurp Tachibana-san’s position. That’s all I know right now. So no more questions. Just shutting up and quietly obeying me.” Sousuke finishes his speech and stares down at Makoto, looking ridiculously and rigidly authoritative for someone with such an unruly behead. He is dressed in a pair of khakis and a simple button down shirt exposing a clingy white t-shirt underneath.

Makoto gapes at Sousuke as tears start to flow down his face.

“Is my family going to be okay? Can I go see them? What about Ren and Ran? I wanna go see my family, Sou-san, please.” And suddenly Makoto is clinging to Sousuke’s shirt, sobbing helplessly like a grade school kid.

“Ummm…Please stop crying. There, you can bring this, what is this thing? Is it a horse? Bring it with you. But we have to leave right now, Makoto.” Sousuke awkwardly pats Makoto on the back.

“It’s a- _hic_ -an- _hic_ -alpacasso.” Makoto answers pathetically between sobs.

“Well, whatever it is, grab it quickly so we can go.” Sousuke untangles himself from the weeping boy, urging him to hurry the hell up.

“What about my stuff?” Makoto starts to regain his senses, walking to his bed to pick up Pocky-chan, his favorite giant alpacasso (pale green, wearing a dark blue bowtie).

“Rei’s packed your bags already. We had emergency stuff ready to go last week in case this shit blew up. So let’s get moving, for fuck’s sake.” Sousuke grabs Makoto’s hand and pulls him out of the room.

“B-But my phone! And my laptop!” Makoto finds himself blushing at Souske’s rough grasp, completely shocked at how quickly the tables have turned, how quickly “Sou-san” has transformed from being a sexually frustrated ball of stress into a commanding figure, who has Makoto completely under his sway. Was Sousuke always this strong? This tall?

“Nope. All that shit can be traced. Rei has a clean laptop for you with your favorite shows and stuff already on it, but I doubt there will be wifi where we’re headed.” Sousuke grins at the looks of horror dawning on Makoto’s face at this piece of news.

“You can’t do this to me.” Despite wanting to, Makoto cannot struggle against Sousuke’s iron grip.

He lets himself be dragged to the garage. Rei and Sousuke quickly load up the remaining luggage in the boot of a small powder blue car- very inconspicuous looking. Makoto is forced into the front seat and buckled up as though he is an infant. Sousuke shakes Rei’s hand in farewell and jams a beanie on Makoto’s head, telling him to take off his glasses and his usual array of hair clips pinning his bangs back to avoid easy recognition.

As they drive off into the pre-dawn dark to an undisclosed hiding place, Makoto cannot help but feel that life as he knows it is quite over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with the last chapter (which kinda sucked, didn't it?) I felt the story really had no plot and was losing traction, so now there is some kind of a plot, and the potential for things to get heated up between Makoto and Sousuke. Hopefully you didn't want to burn your respective electronic devices after reading it. Cheers (^・ω・^ ).
> 
> P.S.The name "Pocky-chan" is courtesy of my very sleep-deprived fic consultant/cousin, so if you're going to judge, please judge her and not me. We were skyping about all the great pocky day fanart and it just kinda happened.


	8. Day Twenty-Five and Onward...

It feels as if they’ve been driving forever now. They stopped by a roadside diner for some food, and Makoto insisted on a few stops at gas stations, crossing his arms frowningly against Sousuke’s suggestion of peeing in a bottle.

And now Sousuke doesn’t think he can keep his eyes open anymore. And he cannot bring himself to trust Makoto with driving the car. Mostly because Makoto has little to no knowledge of actually driving a car, having been chauffeured around his entire life, but especially because he does not have a licence. The pampered little shit is completely useless when it comes to practical skills of any variety. Sousuke wonders if Makoto’s parents are overly doting, or just don’t care enough. He suspects it’s a mixture of both.

Sousuke looks over at the tall boy fast asleep in the passenger sleep, both arms tightly clasping his favorite stuffed toy. The contradictions Makoto is composed of still fascinate Sousuke, and he finds himself smiling slightly at the thought of spending time alone with Makoto. An evil smirk lights up Sousuke’s face as he thinks of being able to boss around this precocious brat, making him obey orders, making him behave like a normal human being for once.

Makoto squirms around a little in his sleep, scrunching up his face adorably. Slowly, he wakes up, looking dazed.

“We’re still not there?” He peers outside the window, into the darkness surrounding them. They’re driving along a narrow road in the countryside, rice fields stretching out on either side, dully lit up by a new moon.

“No. But we’re close. I can smell the sea.” Sousuke breathes in the night air, smiling.

“Where exactly are we?” Makoto rolls down his own window, takes a deep breath, and makes a displeased little moue at the unfamiliar landscape and it’s distinctively non-Tokyo scent.

“Even if I told you, you’d have no clue. So shut up and go back to sleep or something.” Sousuke punches Makoto lightly in the arm. In the darkness, he cannot see the faint blush coloring the younger boy’s cheeks at this unexpected physical contact.

“I can’t sleep. I’m hungry.” Makoto grumbles, angry at himself for getting so agitated at a mere commoner’s touch. Like some idiot. Like some pathetic emotional little brat.

“Well, you ate all the snacks Rei packed already. So you’re gonna have to wait another hour before we get to the hideout. Then you can cook up some ramen or something.” Sousuke is already at his limit, having driven with little to no sleep for so long. Makoto’s whining is not helping at all. He hopes he’s close to their destination. Even though he is just as hungry as Makoto, Sousuke is currently more interested in dropping dead and going to sleep for the next year or so.

Miraculously enough, the little dirt road he’s been watching out for shows up much earlier than he thought it would. Turning into it, they can hear the rolling waves crashing on the nearby shore. And soon, they’ve arrived at the small house which is to serve as their little home until it’s safe enough for them to return to civilization.

Stretching and yawning, Sousuke makes Makoto unload the car while he examines their living space, making sure it’s secure. One hand lightly resting on the small firearm shoved into the waistband of his khakis, Sousuke turns on all the lights one by one, keeping an ear out for any possible intruders.

The house is small but it has been recently cleaned. It has also been stocked with all the necessities of life, if not its luxuries. On closer inspection, Sousuke realizes it’s not so much a house as a cabin, with a small kitchenette off to the side, and a living room where a large futon has been unrolled. There don’t appear to be any extra rooms, apart from a tiny (but clean) washroom, and a storage closet loaded with the kind of food that tastes like crap but doesn’t expire.

Makoto soon joins him in exploring the small space, and rips open a packet of kimchi ramen, eating its contents raw. After a quick visit to the washroom and an energy bar dinner, Sousuke is so tired that he cannot even bring himself to care if they’re both killed in the night. He rolls over on the futon and passes out.

~~~~~~

Something warm but not exactly soft is curled up against his chest, a bony knee resting between his thighs. Sousuke feels like he’s cuddling with a giant cat. The room is already flooded with sunlight, and he can hear the cries of gulls rising and falling against the comforting sounds of the sea.

It’s the sound of his childhood, of a time of peace and happiness. Iwatobi in the summer. Going fishing with his father. Swimming in the open water with Rin. A promising life, waiting to be lived to the fullest. Sousuke holds his eyes shut, keeping the memories with him for as long as possible.

A muffled groan to his right snaps Sousuke out of his reverie with a sudden thunderbolt of realization. It isn’t Rin sleeping soundly against his body. No, not even close. It’s that brat, his body hot and flushed, naked except for a pair of neon green boxers, holding tightly onto Sousuke, Pocky-chan’s cuddlesome fluff discarded in favor of human warmth.

Instead of punching Makoto awake as he knows he should, Sousuke finds himself returning the boy’s sleeping embrace, holding him close, his head still fuzzy with the tiredness of the last couple of days.  Makoto nuzzles against Sousuke’s t-shirt, sighing pleasantly, still quite fast asleep. Sousuke rubs his hand across Makoto’s back soothingly. Makoto’s well-toned back, with it taut muscles.

Sousuke takes this time to have a closer look at the sleeping boy. The way Makoto’s unpinned hair falls across his forehead, how his cheeks are flushed and his whole body is slightly damp with sweat, thanks to the fact that they both slept huddled up together under a nest of blankets even though it’s still summer. True, the night was a bit chilly, given their proximity to the sea, but it looks like Makoto still went overboard with the blanket situation. It’s a comforting sort of warmth though, despite the sweatiness.  Sousuke hasn’t slept next to another person in a long, long while. Guiltily, he lets himself enjoy the moment.

It’s only when Sousuke realizes how Makoto’s kneecap is shoved right up against his crotch that he finds himself waking up properly, with a jolt of electric desire stabbing through the pit of his stomach.

But still, Sousuke cannot push the boy away. The way their bodies are tangled up together seems to be unintentional. Makoto cannot possibly be thinking of doing something like this in their current situation, can he? The entire purpose of those earlier antics was to get Sousuke fired, wasn’t it?

But now Sousuke’s starting to get hard. And that cannot happen. He is supposed to be protecting Makoto, not thinking of ways to jump him while he sleeps innocently. They have to endure an unspecified period of time living together like this, so anything unseemly, if allowed to start, will only get out of hand. Sousuke cannot allow that, can he? No he most certainly fucking cannot. Not a chance.

Easing himself away from Makoto without waking him, he crawls out of the warmth of their shared futon and blanket-nest.  A cold shower should effectively put the stirrings in his pants to rest. He is much too tall and bulky to enjoy the tiny shower. He makes the water run as cold as he can stand it against his skin, but his erection only seems to get stiffer. Giving in to the impulse, he starts running his strong fingers across the length of his cock, slowly at first, then tugging and pulling, stroking the slit, holding back the moaning sounds threatening to escape his mouth. As he reaches orgasm, he focuses on thinking about fucking his ex-fiancée, her sweet red lips, her heaving breasts etc. And it seems to be working too. But right at the moment of climax, all thoughts of her long hair and slightly tanned skin are lost to the image of Makoto- Makoto in his bed, his boxers around his thighs, covered in his own cum, the pink dildo between his ass cheeks, his chest heaving.

All Sousuke caught was a glimpse of that scene before turning away. But it’s still branded into his brain.

This is not good, not good at all.

And at that very moment, as Sousuke attempts to slap some sense into his cock, frustrated and still rather horny, the bathroom door swings open. Sousuke thanks every deity out there for having closed the shower curtains before showering, as he hears Makoto lifting up the toilet seat to pee.

“Are you done in there Sou-san? I stink so bad, I need to go next.” Makoto whines while washing his hands at the sink.

“A-Almost. Hand me a towel, will you?”

“Where should I leave it?”

“Just anywhere. And then get out please.” Sousuke has no intention of letting Makoto see him naked.

“Fine. But hurry up.”

He pulls the curtain back only when he hears the door close, and ties the towel around his waist after wiping himself dry.

Makoto is lying on the futon on his back, watching some anime about a bunch of high-schoolers playing volleyball on the laptop Rei has prepared for him.

“Go ahead and shower. I’ll get some breakfast ready. You okay with eggs?” Sousuke tries to avoid gaping at the way Makoto’s boxers are riding up, exposing the tantalizing bit of skin at the juncture of his ass and thighs. Still, he pauses and stares for a bit at the firm yet oh so plump curve of Makoto’s cute butt. It’s almost obscene how exposed it is right now, as if it’s beckoning Sousuke. It would be so simple to lick a couple of fingers, and slide them into those green boxers, right into Makoto’s hole, taking advantage of the situation, making Makoto moan in surprise. Moan as loud as he wants. No one can hear them out here in this wilderness by the sea anyway.

Before Sousuke can give in to his wild urges, Makoto rolls over, catches Sousuke staring, and blushes all over.

This is not right. Makoto isn’t supposed to blush, is he? He’s supposed to smirk enticingly, stick out his cherry-red tongue at Sousuke and walk off to take a shower, wiggling his butt a little too obviously.

Instead, Makoto almost stumbles and falls on his face as he tries to rush to the washroom to hide his red, red cheeks.

This is not good. This is not good at all.

Sousuke tries to ignore the possibilities of following Makoto into the shower, and busies himself with cracking a few eggs, adding a bit of salt, and scrambling them in butter to creamy perfection. His cooking isn’t half bad, and he’s looked after himself for many years now, so this little stint at domesticity shouldn’t really be a problem.

He knows that there is always a risk of someone slipping up and giving the wrong people information about their hideout. But he also knows that it’s an implicit understanding among members of the Tachibana group that Makoto is the last person to be taking over from his father. In fact, all hands are already on deck for Tachibana-san’s right-hand man, Seijuro Mikoshiba. He is very capable of handling this situation before it gets dangerous, and is as fiercely loyal as a bulldog to the Tachibana clan.

Sousuke knows that whoever is gunning for leadership of the Tachibana group will not be coming for Makoto. Because it’s also pretty well known that while Makoto is the apple of his mother’s eye, his father would prefer to have someone like Mikoshiba as a son instead. Sousuke can see the point of it too. Makoto is pretty much useless at handling, well, anything that isn’t related to seducing helpless bodyguards or wasting money on pointless garbage. All he has are his looks, really. Sousuke wonders if Makoto knows how every single member of the group sighs behind his back, while smilingly doting on his kittenish behavior to his face.

Sousuke and Rei have already reached the pretty accurate conclusion that attempting to kidnap Makoto would be a last resort for the rival faction. But still, best safe than sorry, right? So until the storm blows over, Sousuke will have to deal with this crap.

As he’s pouring tea into mismatched mugs, Makoto comes out of the washroom. He walks right up to Sousuke, leaning around him to see what’s cooking.

“You can make eggs?”

“You can’t?”

“I can’t cook, Sou-san. What if I burn my soft, pretty hands?” Makoto pouts, seemingly restored to his normal self, the morning’s awkwardness forgotten.

Sousuke makes Makoto set up the dishes and cups, and they both sit down to their food at the small table by the window, overlooking the sea.

“How long do we have to stay here? I’m already bored.” Makoto plays with his food instead of eating it, gazing out the window emptily.

“No idea. Eat your eggs and stop bitching.” Sousuke grunts as he sips the lukewarm tea, already missing his newspaper and scalding black coffee.

“Why do we even have to go into hiding? Everyone knows I’m pretty much the last person my dad gives a fuck about. They’d go for Rei before they’d go for me.” Makoto lets his head drop on the table, still staring outside, turning his face away from Sousuke.

“I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m just following orders.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know you don’t care.” The bitterness in Makoto’s voice makes Sousuke cringe a little bit. That’s not the way he meant it. Of course he cares if something happens to this airheaded ball of cuteness and eroticism. He would never let anyone so much as touch Makoto. He’d break every single one of their fingers first.

“That’s not it, Makoto. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”

“Yeah, ‘cause then daddy dearest won’t pay you, will he?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“No? Have you come to care about little old me, Sou-san?”

“I...So what if I have?”

Makoto looks up carefully, examining Sousuke’s discomfited expression with narrowed eyes.

“Well, who wouldn’t ? I’m so cute, right Sou-san?” All it takes to cheer this boy up are a few kind words. Sousuke smiles affectionately at Makoto, slightly relieved at the end of what could have easily been a serious conversation about ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.

After breakfast, Makoto drags Sousuke out to the beach. Sousuke sits and smokes cigarette after cigarette, watching Makoto run around the shoreline, chasing the waves, happy as a puppy.

It’s not so bad after all, having Makoto all to himself like this.

It’s not bad at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I'm making this one up as we go along, just adding cute little things and smutty scenes here and there. I basically just want a sweet romance to pop up between Sousuke and Makoto, with Makoto running the show, because he's just that cute and Sousuke will do anything to please him.  
> I wanted to isolate them from the other characters for a bit to give them a little room to breathe, to get to know each other better. So the next few chapters will focus on their budding relationship. Things will probably get hot and heavy soon enough, I expect. Thanks for putting up with my crappy attempts at writing fluff and smut.


	9. A Day (and Night) of Intimacies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating when I should be sleeping because I'm trash obviously.  
> Giving up on naming chapters by the number of days that have passed since Sousuke and Makoto first met, because there are going to be time skips coming up, and it's gonna be hard to keep track and I'm a lazy shit.  
> This chapter is split among four couples (GouxSeijuro, NagisaxRei, HaruxKisumi, MakotoxSousuke), observing each relationship.  
> And finally, the SouMako smut begins.

“Gou, what the hell…” Seijuro’s words trail off as the girl he’s been incessantly chasing since she graduated high school runs up to him and wraps him up in her arms.

He lifts her right off the ground, scooping her up, all tension and fear forgotten as their lips meet.

“It’s Kou, you jerk.”

“But why are you here? I mean… _How_ are you here? I’m supposed to be in hiding…Who…”

“I have my ways. So…Can I stay now that I’ve found you? What if I was followed, Sei? What if someone tries to kidnap me to get to you? You’re responsible for me now.”

“It was Nagisa wasn’t it? He screwed the information out of Rei, didn’t he? You pack of wild cats! Someone needs to take charge of you youngsters and teach you how to listen to your elders.”

“What kinda lesson do you have in mind, Sei-kun?” Still in Seijuro’s arms, Kou nuzzles closer to him, breathing in his cologne.

“Gou, no really. It isn’t safe for you to be here. I can’t have you in harm’s way like this.”

“I wanted to see you. I was worried…It made me realize Sei…”

“Realize what?”

“That it’s you. I’m sorry it took this long.”

“Oh…”

Seijuro’s kiss is needy and laced with an almost bestial hunger. Kou grips his hair tight, wraps her legs firmly around his waist.

“Poor Momo.” The thought of his brother, rejected and discarded, makes Seijuro’s reason finally win over his desire, and he breaks the kiss.

“He’ll get over it. He can chase after Rin instead.” Kou leans in for another kiss, but Seijuro firmly deposits her on his desk, detaching her from himself.

“Let Nitori hear that and he’ll probably have your head, you know.” There will be time enough to enjoy this properly after the danger has passed- but it is not possible right now.

“You’re going to have me escorted back to safety now, aren’t you?” Kou already knows what he’s thinking.

“Yes, I am.” Tenderly, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Be safe, Sei. Promise you’ll be safe.”

“I promise.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Nagisa-kun was all of this really necessary?” Rei adjusts his glasses awkwardly, only to slather the lenses with pinkish foam, leaving him unable to see anything.

Nagisa leans back against him in the bath, sitting comfortably between Rei’s long legs, spread apart to make space for his petite boyfriend’s adorable butt.

All Rei has said was that he’d like a bath before bedtime, after they’d screwed each other senseless on Nagisa’s couch. Rei just wanted to relax a bit, ease his aching muscles, soothe his body before going to sleep, looking forward to cradling Nagisa in his arms all night long.

Of course Nagisa took this as an invitation to have more sex, and insisted on preparing a romantic bath for two. And Rei has never been able to say no to Nagisa.

What Nagisa wants, he gets.

Rei wonders if Makoto and Nagisa share tips with each other about being the most adorable, irresistible brats in the whole of Japan. The kind of brats who have a knack for having reasonable, older, wiser men like Rei and Sousuke running after them, drooling and wagging tails.

Of course Rei’s noticed the way Sousuke’s eyes keep following Makoto everywhere. You’d have to be blind not to see it. Makoto has pulled this kind of crap before- with tutors, teachers, bodyguards, you name it- and gotten himself in trouble countless times. But somehow, Rei feels like Sousuke can handle himself.

His attention is drawn away from Makoto and Sousuke when he hears Nagisa’s cute little high-pitched yelp, and the way his butt pushes back right up against Rei’s manhood. Which is starting to get hard. Again. For the third time tonight. It’s amazing, the hold Nagisa has over Rei- mind, body and soul.

The cause for this kittenish yelp is anything but sexy though.

Turns out Nagisa has spilled an entire glass of strawberry milkshake right into the bathtub.

Of course, preparing for a bath for Nagisa meant taking as much sweet crap as he could carry right to the bath with him.

There’s a tub of chocolate ice cream sitting by the tub, melting in the light of the ten billion candles Nagisa’s lit (giving Rei an endless headache with their ‘flower meadow’ scent) to create the right ‘atmosphere’. And at least five boxes of assorted chocolates. And a bottle of chilled champagne.

And of course, the goddamn milkshake Nagisa made for himself, standing naked in the kitchen, while Rei waited patiently.

It’s a secret known only to Rei (and of course Makoto) that Nagisa likes to have homemade strawberry milkshake with exactly three scoops of ice cream after sex. It’s his recharging potion, as he likes to call it.

And now it’s in the bath with the two of them, swirling in the water, mixing with the foam, making everything smell of strawberries and cream.

And suddenly, Rei just wants to do filthy things to Nagisa in the bath, unable to control himself anymore. All these stupid little quirks, these ridiculous habits, the cute faces Nagisa makes when he’s distressed- Rei is just so very deeply and completely smitten. There is no escape. None at all.

Grabbing Nagisa by the waist, even as the blond laments the loss of his favorite drink, Rei pulls him back so that Nagisa’s ass is grinding against Rei’s fullblown erection. Another little yelp, and Nagisa quickly gives in to the demands Rei’s body is making on his. Turning around, he straddles Rei, kissing him deeply, and they’re lost to each other again.

Rei makes good use of the chocolate and the champagne and the ice cream. By the time it’s over, they’re both out of the bath, sprawled on the bathroom floor. Nagisa is a mess- covered in smears of melted chocolate (and Rei’s saliva), sticky with ice cream, dazed with champagne, and glistening with both of their cum. Rei doesn’t let him shower before bed, carrying Nagisa to it, dirtying the sheets, licking him clean until it’s dawn, and Nagisa is in no condition to go to class. They sleep all day, the scent of sex, sweat, and Nagisa’s favorite desserts permeating the bedroom.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Ha-Haru…Ahhh…Unhh…Haruu…I’m cu-…I’m gonna….I’m cumming!!” Kisumi collapses on top of Haru, spent and sweaty.

Haru’s asshole is dripping with a mixture of lube and Kisumi’s cum; and his chest and mouth are glistening with Kisumi’s saliva.

Kisumi likes to mark Haru in every possible way whenever Haru relents and lets him in. Which has been more frequent lately, to Kisumi’s surprise.

“Did you like it Haru-chan?”

“Hmmm. It wasn’t entirely awful.”

“You’re so cold.”

“You’re too needy.”

“Don’t you care for me even a teeny tiny bit, Haru-chan?” Kisumi lifts himself slightly off Haru’s chest to look him in the eye.

Haru’s lying back, staring up at the ceiling, seeming anything but happy.

“Not this again, Kisumi, please. I only let you do this on the condition that we wouldn’t talk about unnecessary things.” Haru sounds weary, closing his eyes to shut out the world.

“So my feelings are unnecessary, are they Haru?”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Kisumi.”

“Is there someone then, Haru? Is that why you keep pushing me away? Is it Rin?” Kisumi sits up and looks away, his vision starting to blur a little. With every intimate encounter he shares with Haru, he hopes to break down the older man’s walls a little. It doesn’t work. It never works. And yet, Kisumi cannot give up.

“It’s not Rin. Please, just…Go away, Kisumi. We’re done here. You got what you came for.”

“Is it Makoto?”

Haru’s eyes flicker open, and he exhales softly, his cheeks tinged with the lightest touch of pink.

“I thought so…” Kisumi gets up off the bed reluctantly, pulling on his clothes haphazardly, not even bothering to clean up.

“I’m sorry Kisumi.”

“I’m not.”

“I know.”

“I’ll keep trying, Haru. You know that, don’t you?”

Haru closes his eyes again, folding his arms against his chest, already far away. Always so far from Kisumi, even when their bodies are joined together.

He knows he should hate it- hate being the substitute- but Kisumi can’t help himself. Little by little, whatever it takes, he’ll let his heart break again and again, if it means having an hour in bed with Haru. Until he can win over the icy heart, the pure blue eyes, the reluctant lips, the aching soul burning with love for someone else.

Kisumi will make it all his.

One day…

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

They’re both used to sleeping next to each other by now.

Sousuke is used to the way Makoto pushes his butt up against him, curling up in the fetal position as he falls into a deep sleep.

Makoto is used to waking up with Sousuke’s arms around him- going back to sleep, enjoying the feeling of being held. He lets Sousuke rise before him, realize the embarrassing way their bodies are linked together, and break the embrace before Makoto ‘wakes up’.

Sousuke cooks food with the simple ingredients they’ve been provided with, and Makoto takes care of the laundry. Of course Sousuke doesn’t know that most mornings, Makoto wakes up hard and has, at least once so far, used Sousuke’s underwear to masturbate with, before tossing it in the washing machine with everything else.

Makoto himself doesn’t understand the hold Sousuke has on him. Why he wants Sousuke to push him down, why he wants Sousuke to love him. Actually _love_ him. Like, shoujo-manga style love. Flowers and sparkles everywhere.  

This rough, uncultured man- who always looked so out of place in the black suit he had to wear as Makoto’s bodyguard in Tokyo- is completely at home now, dressed in a fitted black t-shirt and a pair of loose, blue shorts. Who sits at the table with Makoto every morning, drinking weak tea, and smoking endless cigarettes.

“You know that’s not good for you right, Sou-san? In fact you’re endangering me with all this second-hand smoke too.” Makoto leans over the breakfast table, trying to wrest the half-burnt cigarette from Sousuke’s fingers.

Sousuke easily grabs Makoto’s wrist in his free hand, pulls him closer across the table, bringing Makoto’s face close to his own- close enough to kiss.

Sousuke sees Makoto’s eyes suddenly widen in surprised anticipation.

Can he? Should he? If he does, it won’t end with just a kiss.

Sousuke puffs on the cigarette and blows a hazy cloud of smoke right into Makoto’s face, smirking a bit indecently as Makoto coughs and jerks his wrist free.

“You’re such a meanie, Sou-san! I won’t do any chores today. I’m going out to the beach.”

“Then I won’t make any lunch for you.”

“Fine! Do what you want!”

Grabbing a bottle of suntan lotion and a towel, Makoto storm out, his face flushed.

Sousuke chuckles to himself as he watches the brunet walk out, admiring the way Makoto’s hips sway just a little, even as he’s stomping off angrily. Even Makoto’s fury is erotic.

Everything about Makoto is a turn-on.

Sousuke wonders how long he’ll be able to hold himself back. He wonders when jerking off in the shower will stop being enough. He wonders how many times it’ll take, sleeping on the same futon with Makoto, before he makes good use of the perky butt rubbing against his groin during the night.

This game of self-control, of seeing how long he can control himself- it strangely feels like foreplay to Sousuke. And even though it’s a little fun, teasing the growing absence of distance between them, seeing which one of them will break first- Sousuke’s losing patience with it.

_Tonight. If that sweet, plump ass makes contact with my crotch one more time, I’m claiming it._

Picking up a can of beer from the fridge (he thanks Rei inwardly for providing it despite knowing that Makoto’s delicate palate detests the bitter taste), Sousuke heads to the beach to keep watch over his charge.

He knows it’s about 0.000001% likely that someone will come after them all the way to this secluded beach, but he likes to use it as an excuse to ogle the younger man at every given opportunity.

Sousuke enjoys watching Makoto swim in the water wearing nothing but his boxers (which cling deliciously to everything after he comes out), enjoys watching him build hideous sandcastles, running over to him screaming after spotting what he thinks is a shark fin or a jellyfish. For someone who enjoys swimming so much, Makoto sure hates the ocean.

Sousuke wants to join him in the water, but the hurt lodged deep inside his chest won’t let him. Swimming belongs to a different life- to the life of a boy who had dreams and wasn’t completely jaded by the way his life fucked him over at every turn.

As he approaches the shore, a sudden wave of panic rushes in at Sousuke. Makoto is nowhere to be seen. Not in the water, not building castles, not running after seagulls, not looking around for seashells.

Sousuke runs forwards, looking around frantically, one hand over the gun tucked inside the waistband of his shorts.

He is almost ready to cry out Makoto’s name in alarm when he finally spots the boy.

His green and white striped towel spread out on the sand, Makoto is sprawled on top of it, buck naked, lying on his stomach, roasting himself in the sun.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sousuke cannot believe the sight before him.

_On the run for his life, and this brat is fucking tanning._

_And he’s naked._

_Oh shit._

_He’s naked._

“I’m getting a tan, obviously. Geez Sou-san, you gave me a heart attack, yelling like that.”

“I…I was worried. I thought…”

“That someone made off with me? Not today, Sou-san. Tough luck.” Makoto’s hands are tucked under his face as he looks sideways, grinning at Sousuke.

“Unbelievable.” Sousuke sighs, somewhat amused, sitting down on the sun-warmed sand beside Makoto. He opens his beer, and takes a swig, gulping obnoxiously.

“Now that you’re here, wanna help me lotion up my back?” Makoto looks up at him innocently, pouting a tiny bit.

“No thanks.” Sousuke tries very, very hard not to look at the way Makoto’s butt cheeks curve-oh so obscenely- like a couple of ripe peaches, pinker than ever in the heat, still bearing traces of ocean water.

“Oh come on! The butt is the hardest part to reach, you know.” Makoto has quite obviously noticed Sousuke’s lingering gaze.

“You’re a tease, you know that.” Sousuke puts away his beer, and turns his attention to Makoto.

It’s too late now, to second guess this weird relationship, to ignore this crackling thunderstorm of chemistry between them.

A light smack resounds on Makoto’s butt as Sousuke’s open palm makes contact with the flesh. It jiggles a little as Makoto lets out a shocked squeak. That’s more than Sousuke can take.

“Alright, gimme that lotion.” His voice is husky with lust as moves closer to Makoto, taking the bottle from the brunet’s shaking hand, emptying most of it on Makoto’s back and ass and thighs, letting his hands glide all over the younger man, feeling every muscle, very curve, every tremor running through Makoto’s body at the contact between them.

Sousuke pays special attention to the lower half of Makoto’s body, parting his thighs just a little bit to get the lotion between them, grinning to see Makoto’s cock already throbbing.

“You’re a naughty little brat, aren’t you, Mako-chan?” Another smack on the ass, and Makoto lets out a deep-throated moan, rubbing his thighs together.

But Sousuke pushes them apart again, running his fingers slowly along the sensitive flesh between Makoto’s legs.

“Unnhhh…What are...ahhh….you doing…unhh….”

“Isn’t this what you want me to do, Makoto? Isn’t this what you’ve been thinking of since the first time we met?” Sousuke suddenly grabs Makoto by the shoulders and turns him over.

Makoto’s chest is heaving slightly, his green eyes wide with surprise, his cock…

His cock is almost fully erect.

Makoto suddenly becomes aware of the state he’s in, the way Sousuke is leering at him, how exposed his body is. He quickly covers himself with both hands, looking away from Sousuke, red all the way to the tips of his ears. He has never been so out of control in any situation before. He feels helpless, pinned under the weight of Sousuke’s teal eyes.

Sousuke pushes Makoto’s hands away, exposing his hardness once more, before climbing on top of him. He sticks out his tongue, licking Makoto’s chin, slowly making his way to the quivering bottom lip, tracing its outline, leaving it wet with saliva.

Makoto lets out another moan, and Sousuke takes advantage of the opening to stick his tongue into Makoto’s mouth.

His hands pinned to either side by Sousuke’s Makoto gives in completely to the older man’s desire, feeling himself melt completely.

Makoto has never felt like this before.

He is sure he’ll never feel like this again.


	10. A Day Without Condoms and Lube

It has been two days since the ‘incident’ on the beach.

Sousuke no longer sleeps on the same futon as Makoto. He makes breakfast quietly, and takes his share outside. He grunts if Makoto asks him anything, and avoids eye contact. Makoto finds himself blushing frequently at the thought of what happened between them.

It had been kind of anticlimactic, to be honest. After taking their cocks in his right hand, Sousuke had rubbed them together until both their cum was splattered all over Makoto’s stomach and chest. A second later, Sousuke had seemed to regain his senses, and looked utterly horrified at what he’d done. Cursing under his breath, he got up off Makoto and ran back inside.

By the time Makoto returned to the cabin (after washing himself up in the ocean and putting his boxers back on), Sousuke was busy making lunch, pretending nothing had happened. His demeanour was gruff and his responses were monosyllabic.

Makoto wanted Sousuke to continue, to do something more, to acknowledge the fact that he had finally given in to Makoto’s long campaign of seduction. More than all that, Makoto wanted Sousuke to kiss him again. So, so badly. But it looked like the whole thing had been instinct-based on Sousuke’s part. He already seemed to be regretting their intimacy. And it hurt. Makoto had to admit that much. It hurt like hell.  

It’s true that it was Makoto who decided to expose himself to Sousuke, to push the older man over the edge. It’s true he came so hard all over Sousuke’s hands that he almost passed out. That Sousuke’s kiss, though rough and needy, felt better than anything else Makoto had experienced before. That being spanked (even though it was two tiny spanks) drove Makoto so crazy, it was almost unbearable. Nagisa had often discussed the pleasures of being spanked with them, but Kou and Makoto always dismissed him as being masochistic for enjoying something like that. Now though- now Makoto wants so bad for Sousuke to strip him naked, splay him across his lap, push his legs apart, and spank his ass so hard he cums from it.

It’s true this whole thing has been one-sided, initiated by Makoto.

But then there’s the way Sousuke looks at him. The way he smiles at him. There’s something there, Makoto knows it. And how he longs for Sousuke to be the kind of lover he wishes for. How he wants Sousuke to spoil him, and steal kisses from him. It all feels so hopeless.

This morning, Makoto woke up alone again. His breakfast was on the table, and there was no sign of Sousuke.

After half-heartedly eating his eggs, and drinking a bitter cup of matcha, Makoto throws himself on the futon on his stomach, re-watching his favorite episode of his current favorite anime. But he cannot concentrate on it. He wants to talk to someone, anyone, about why he feels this way. How an unkempt, uncultured man like Sousuke has him feeling so flustered, so _infatuated_. A man quite a bit older than himself too. It would be nice to get some advice from Nagisa. Or Kou. Kisumi is pretty much useless when it comes to serious stuff.

They all seem to go for older men, Makoto and his friends. Acting out because they want to be spoiled, probably. How typical. Makoto snorts at his own desperateness.

But that doesn’t change the strange constriction in Makoto’s chest when he thinks about Sousuke. It was never supposed to go this far.

Makoto doesn’t remember falling asleep in front of his laptop.

It’s the comforting sensation of strong fingers running through his hair that wakes him up.

“Mmmpph..” He smiles a little, still halfway between asleep and awake.

“Wake up, lazybones.” The husky whisper brushes Makoto’s left ear, sending a shiver down his spine, stirring something below the waist.

Makoto only fully wakes up when he feels something wet being poured onto his back.

“Th-That’s cold…What…What’s happening?”

“Stay still, Makoto.”

“What…Sou-san?”

His back is being licked, all over. The cold liquid pooling in the small of his back is being slurped up. Makoto’s mind starts blanking out.

“Makoto, I…Do you want me to do this?” Sousuke’s voice is heavy with uncertainty.

“I thought you were…unnhhh…ignoring me…” Makoto wants to tease a bit more, and push Sousuke away until he can get an apology out of the teal-eyed man, but whatever Sousuke is doing to his back feels too good. He wants it go on, he wants it go further- further than he’s ever gone with anyone before.

Makoto wants Sousuke inside him.

“I-I feel like I took advantage of you that day. I’m sorry. We should have talked about it. But- I can’t help myself around you. You can have me fired when this is over if you want. I’m definitely not fit at all to be your caretaker, Mako.”

Makoto rolls over at these words, wanting to put his arms around Sousuke.

“I was the one pushing you, though. I- I enjoyed it, that day- on the beach. I thought…I wanted you to go further…I want you, Sou-san…Do what you want with me.” Makoto blushes all over, realizing that he means what he’s saying.

“Are you sure?” Sousuke’s gaze lingers on Makoto’s face expectantly.

“Mhm. Whatever happens here, we can blame it on the ocean. No one has to know Sou-san.”

This is all Sousuke needs to hear apparently. He leans down over Makoto, and they share a long, sloppy, kiss. Sousuke’s desire is so wolfish, so uncontrolled, that Makoto gets completely swept away by it.

Sousuke isn’t the best kisser in Makoto’s experience, but he still makes the green-eyed boy feel so incredibly good, it’s ridiculous. Makoto draws his tongue out of Sousuke’s mouth, laughing a little.

“W-What? You didn’t like that?” Sousuke looks bewildered and a little hurt.

“I did. I did. But, wait. Here. I’ll stick my tongue out a bit, and I want you to suck on the tip.” Makoto grips Sousuke’s wild, black hair, pulling their faces together.

Sousuke takes Makoto’s tongue between his lips, softer than before, and sucks gently. Makoto feels like he will dissolve right into Sousuke’s mouth. The kiss intensifies as Makoto slides his tongue inside Sousuke’s mouth, caressingly, wetly, building up their mutual longing.

“Annhhh, your…Your cock is poking me, Sou-san.” Makoto wants that hardness inside him, desperate for Sousuke.

“What should we do about that, then?” Sousuke mumbles breathily, pushing a loose strand of the brunet’s hair behind his burning ear.

“In-Inside me, Sou-san. P-Please. I want it…I want you so bad.”

“Aarrrgggghhh! You’re such a fucking tease, Makoto!” Sousuke grunts as he positions himself on top of the younger man, grinding their crotches together.

“Unnnh…Ahhh…Sou-san…I’ll cum inside my boxers if you…aannnhhhhhhh…” And Makoto _does_ cum inside his boxers.

Sousuke pulls back, grinning slightly. Makoto can see he’s still hard.

“Do you want to…cum inside me Sou-san?” Makoto cannot believe he is almost ready to beg this man for anal sex, desperate to have Sousuke’s erection inside him.

“I can’t, Makoto. When we brought supplies, we didn’t exactly pack any condoms or lube, and there is no way in hell I am doing _that_ without proper preparation.”

“It’ll be fine, Sou-san. Don’t you feel uncomfortable? Let me take care of everything. I-I’ve used a dildo before. I know how to…” Makoto is sitting up in front of Sousuke now, bashfully looking anywhere but directly at his bodyguard.

“W-Wait Makoto…You haven’t…This would be your first time? Doing _that_?”

“Uhhh…If you mean taking it up the ass? Then yeah, I…errr…I haven’t done that before…”

“Ohhh…”

They sit on the futon across from each other, Sousuke’s erection throbbing painfully in his shorts, unable to proceed.

“Makoto. It’s…If it’s going to be your first time, then it’s even more important that we do it properly. I…I want to…God, you have no idea how fucking badly I want to be inside you right now…But I can’t…I don’t want to hurt you, okay. It’ll…We’ll wait, okay?”

“Wait?”

“Yeah. Unless…Unless you don’t want to continue…When we get back I mean. Unless this is all there is to it. And I’d be fine with it. No pressure.” Sousuke finds himself fidgeting around, as if he’s just made his first confession, and is waiting for his crush to respond.

“I do…I want to continue after…I think- _I like you Sou-san_.” The words spill out before Makoto can stop himself. He gasps in disbelief, and covers his mouth with both hands, red everywhere.

Sousuke can only sit and gape at him. Whatever he was expecting to happen when he came upon a sleeping Makoto- pouring his leftover beer on the boy, running his tongue all over that gorgeously toned back- Sousuke was not at all expecting it to end this way.

With this sweet, sparkly, sakura-flavored- straight out of a fucking shoujo-manga, seriously some Usako and Mamo-chan level of romance- confession.

Makoto’s confession. To _him_. To _Sousuke_. He is too baffled, too _happy_ , to respond properly.

“Isn’t that uncomfortable?” Before Sousuke can reply to Makoto, before he can return the words back to this fucking beauty of a boy, Makoto is bending down over his crotch, taking Sousuke’s cock out, taking it in his mouth.

“Mako…What are you…Annhhhh….Unhhhhh….”

He cums all over Makoto’s face, and watches in awe as the boy uses his fingers to clean up the cum, licking his lips, smacking them enthusiastically, licking his hands clean of Sousuke.

“You taste good Sou-san. Wanna try some?”

They kiss again, long and deep. Makoto is still wearing his cum-stained boxers, straddling Sousuke’s lap. The day turns into a dazed array of making out, touching, and caressing each other’s bodies.

If it were up to Sousuke, he would want to stay here forever. Using Makoto’s body as he pleases, when he pleases.

After showering (separately, because the tiny bathroom does not allow for two tall, well-built men to share the limited space), Sousuke makes them some quick ramen for dinner. Makoto goes to sleep cuddled up against Sousuke, smiling, satisfied, totally spent.

It’s better this way really. Sousuke wants to take his time exploring this beautiful body next to his own. To find out every weak spot. To know what makes Makoto wild with want.

Falling asleep with his arms around Makoto, Sousuke makes a mental note to figure out how sensitive Makoto’s cute little nipples are when they wake up.

He dreams of owning a harem full of Makotos, bedecked in silks and jewels, all of whom are competing with each other to see who can make Sousuke cum first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very very sleep-deprived as I post this chapter, and I've tried to make up for the smutty cliff-hanger from last time. I hope it's not disappointing. I haven't edited it properly, so forgive any errors.   
> Hope it was a fun read.  
> And all the best to everyone dealing with finals etc. Read your smut after you study guys.


	11. Sousuke's Naughty Harem Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of you asked for this, so here it is.  
> I tried my best. Don't judge me too harshly.  
> Smut abounds ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

The night air is intoxicating, permeated with the heavy scent of night-blooming jasmine and sleeping roses. The marble pillars carved with intricate patterns depicting erotic activities are highly reminiscent of a porno Sousuke watched while he was a teenager.

Sousuke is reclining on a colorful array of velvet and silk cushions, naked but for the silken, dark blue, sheet thrown across his aching groin. At this side is Makoto, wearing nothing but a long chain of gold and jade, which dangles over his broad, toned chest.

One of _many_ Makotos. Most of whom are naked, enjoying glasses of sparkling champagne and strawberries. The rest are in various stages of undress, trailing sheer white robes and scarves behind them as they frolic amongst themselves in what is clearly a harem.

The frolicking is mostly sexual.

There are Makotos all around him. Engaged in erotic activities.

 _With each other_.

 In _his_ harem.

 _Sousuke’s harem_.

_Completely populated with **Makotos**._

When the Makoto sitting next to him, holding a goblet of wine to his lips, spills a little bit of it on Sousuke’s chest and leans down to lick it clean, Sousuke realizes that he is dreaming.

_He has to be, right?_

_God, he is surrounded by Makotos._

There are 3 of them, naked except for various items of jewellery- nipple rings, arm bands, thin gold chains around their lithe waists- cavorting in the shallow pool in front of him.

One of them is pinned down between the other two. His arms are bound together and he is being teased into a state of frantic arousal, thrashing around in the water. One of the dominating Makotos takes the restrained Makoto’s cock in his mouth and starts slurping it up as if it’s a popsicle. The other one starts playing with his nipple rings, using his mouth to lick and tug.

Sousuke is temporarily distracted from this attention-grabbing display when another Makoto- this one wearing a pale green veil (sheer, yes) across his face, and green silk ribbons laced around his very hard cock- kneels down in front of him. The veiled Makoto removes the silk sheet from Sousuke’s crotch, exposing his hardness. Through the thing material of his veil, he takes Sousuke’s cock in his soft, warm mouth.

Sousuke groans with an excess of pleasure. The other, mostly naked Makoto with the wine goblet is busy pouring its red, heady contents all over Sousuke’s upper body and licking it off. Another one find his way towards Sousuke, partially covered in the cum of at least 3 other Makotos (who just finished ejaculating all over him), and leans in for a kiss.

The sensation of silk cloth and hot, wet tongue on his cock is driving Sousuke right out of his mind. The Makoto-flavored kiss, the red mouth playing with his nipples and his navel, it is all enough to make his mind go completely blank.

He cums with such fury that the Makoto sucking on him almost chokes on Sousuke’s seed. Once his mind stops being fuzzy around the edges, he returns his attention to the 3 Makotos in the pool.

Their foreplay has progressed into a full-blown threesome. The Makoto with his wrists bound is on his back in the pool (it is a _really_ shallow pool, you can’t even call it a pool, it’s probably just there for naked Makotos to have sex in really), his head resting in the lap of the second Makoto, mouth full of cock and pre-cum. His ass is being stuffed by the third Makoto.

They have Sousuke’s undivided attention now, as they thrust and moan and suck and writhe around in the pool. Sousuke swallows thickly as he watches. He is unable to take it anymore. He must have this Makoto. This particular one. With his wrists bound, both openings full, slick and sweaty and wet.

Sousuke rises and makes his way to the pool. Of course by this time, he is fully erect again. As he approaches the three Makotos fucking one another senseless, the two dominating Makotos bow out of the way. They turn their attentions to each other as they lay down at the poolside, instantly assuming a position where they can suck each other’s cocks with ease.

The Makoto in the pool- somehow the loveliest Makoto of them all- is in a state of pleasure-deprived agony.

“Annnhhh…Unnnn….My king!....Please, I can’t take it…aannhhh….anymore…Fuck me!”

And Sousuke obliges, thrusting into Makoto over and over and over again. Makoto’s hole is tight and slick, sucking Sousuke’s dick right inside. The feeling is divinely, sinfully, unbelievably erotic. Sousuke leans over and kisses Makoto deeply. Makoto throws his arms around Sousuke and clings to him, panting, whispering encouraging obscenities in his ear, complimenting Sousuke’s ‘thick, hard cock, the best cock Makoto’s ever had’.

Sousuke cums gushing and overflowing inside Makoto. His juices drip out of Makoto’s twitching red hole as Sousuke draws himself out, slowly and teasingly. At the same time, Makoto’s ejaculate joins Sousuke’s cum in the pool.

Sousuke drops down on top of Makoto, both of them breathing heavily, completely satisfied.

_This is the best fucking dream ever._

“Sou-san…Sou-san! Wake up! The phone’s ringing!” Makoto is trying to push Sousuke off, trying to get him to leave the pool, to leave his harem. Sousuke doesn’t want to though. It’s nice here. He should stay here forever. With all his sexy, naked Makotos.

“Sou-san! Wake up!! Rei wants to talk to you!” Why the hell would Rei be in Sousuke’s harem? Is he an attendant or something? No, that would be absurd. Rei should be in his own harem, probably full of Nagisas dressed in schoolgirl uniforms or bunny ears or something. Maybe Sousuke and Rei can have a joint orgy one day? Combining their concubines? Makoto and Nagisa, naked, getting pounded in their sweet little asses by Sousuke and Rei, facing each other on all fours, kissing each other as they moan.

_No. Nope. No. That is dangerous stuff._

Sousuke slowly opens his heavy-lidded eyes.

His crotch, still thankfully covered with his blanket, feels wet. Stickily wet.

_Oh shit._

_A wet dream._

_Shit shit shit._

He hasn’t one of those since…Fuck, since he was 18 or something.

And what was that about Rei calling?

As the fog of his fantasy begins to lift off his mind, Sousuke suddenly understands his situation.

If Rei has called, it will either mean that something bad has happened. Or that the danger is over and they can return to their normal lives.

Either way, it’s not going to be good news.

Makoto looks relieved and slightly happy as he chatters with Rei on the phone.

“Oh, he’s finally awake Rei-san. Here, talk to him!” As Makoto hands Sousuke the phone, he notices the boy’s face drop a little. Makoto moves closer to Sousuke, as if it’s the most natural gesture in the world, winding his arms around the older man’s waist, resting his head against Sousuke’s chest.

Rei’s voice sounds distant and echo-y.

It’s over.

It’s finally time to go home.


	12. The Last Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More sweet than smutty. Sousuke's love is blossoming, and it's all very shoujo.  
> But the smut isn't entirely gone.

“So, I guess we should pack up and head back?” Sousuke gently detaches himself from Makoto, thinking how badly he wants to stay here for as long as possible, away from the busy, clamoring city life to which Makoto really belongs. With his friends, with his parents, his university, his princely existence- in which Sousuke is nothing more than a disposable servant, paid to be around Makoto.

“We can stay another day, can’t we Sou-san? It’s so nice here, and now we know there’s nothing to worry about anymore. So let’s enjoy ourselves today. And tonight.” Makoto climbs onto Sousuke’s lap. He likes doing that. And Sousuke likes him doing that too.

“Mmmmmakoto…” Sousuke’s pleasure turns into Makoto’s name. The brunet closes the gap between them, locking lips, one hand in Sousuke’s hair, the other slowly caressing the small of Sousuke’s back.

But kissing isn’t enough. Not anymore.

Makoto starts to grind slowly into Sousuke’s crotch, breathing heavily.

Sousuke’s gentle exploration of Makoto’s body suddenly becomes rough as things get heated.

He lifts Makoto up by the hips and throws him onto the futon on his back. Makoto’s beautiful tanned back, curving inward like a cat’s, muscles rippling under the surface like the surface of the ocean under Sousuke’s rough palms.

Makoto’s eyes widen as Sousuke hovers above him, a glint in his eyes, a sharp smirk on his face. He looks hungry, bestial- and it sends a shiver down Makoto’s spine, sending waves of tingling desire all over his body, right to the tip of his erect cock.

Pinning Makoto’s hands to his sides like he did at the beach, Sousuke lowers himself onto Makoto’s body until every inch of skin is covered. Of course Makoto had slept naked, and Sousuke with his boxers barely covering his ass. He removes them in a jiffy as his erection starts to get uncomfortable.

It doesn’t feel like it’s enough though- just grinding on top of Makoto. It’s not satisfying the fire burning up his veins. Sousuke mentally reminds himself again that penetration is not an option. He has been with a man before, and he knows how to prepare everything so it won’t hurt Makoto, but it seems crude to try and mount the boy this soon. He doesn’t want to take advantage of Makoto’s vulnerability and horniness. He wants to know how much of this is lust and how much of it is something else, something more.

He pulls back suddenly, leaving Makoto moaning on his back, and settles down on his knees between Makoto’s legs. Such beautiful legs. All sturdy and delicate at once, so well-built. When does this boy find the time to work out exactly? Sousuke’s only seen him at home lounging around stuffing garbage into his pretty face.

Lifting up Makoto’s legs, one over each of his shoulders, Sousuke positions himself so he has easy access to Makoto’s inner thighs. And the view is incredible from where he is. The strands of darkish brown hair like a halo above the glistening pink cock, an even pinker asshole, already twitching a little bit with every involuntary movement of Makoto’s hips. Even his balls are beautiful. Sousuke never thought he would think of another man’s balls as beautiful, but here he is, wanting to lick everything in sight.

Sousuke starts with nipping at the firm yet tender flesh on Makoto’s thighs with his teeth, taking his time to leave his marks all over the pale skin. Makoto is sighing Souske’s name, trembling all over, his cock dripping with pre-cum, both hands covering his blushing face.

This is what gets to Sousuke. All this shyness.

Where the hell did it come from?

This is the same shameless boy who got on all fours in front of everyone he knew and basically tongue-fucked one of his best friends.

And now, under Sousuke’s gaze, he’s blushing like a maiden on her first night, right out of a medieval story.

As baffling as Makoto’s reaction is, it turns Sousuke on so damn much.

It also makes him wonder how much he’s being played with…

How of much of this newfound embarrassment at doing this and that with Sousuke is Makoto simply playing another game?

Sousuke doesn’t want to believe this panting, moaning, going red all over, trembling at the lightest of touches- all this erotic behavior is make-believe…

But how can he trust Makoto?

As Makoto starts begging for Sousuke’s cock, all doubts are banished to the back of his mind. Sousuke focuses on the task at hand.

What next? So many options before him.

Sousuke decides to do a bit of teasing.

Lowering Makoto’s legs back onto the futon, he leans down and takes the head of the brunet’s hard cock in his mouth. Makoto lets out a prolonged moan mixed in with the drawn out syllables of a breathy “Sou-san”. Sousuke flicks his tongue over the tip, wetting it with his mouth to make it all slippery.

“Annhhh, Sou-san…How are you…unnhhhh…so good at this?”

He can tell Makoto is almost on the verge of cumming.

Sousuke’s tongue travels slowly up Makoto’s body, lingering a little bit in the navel, his large palms gripping Makoto’s hips to keep him from shaking too much.

“Nnnnhhh…That’s enough isn’t it?...Anhhh Sou-san….Maybe….Annnhhh…”

When his mouth finally finds Makoto’s nipples, Sousuke moves himself up over Makoto’s body so their cocks are touching. As he takes the little pinkish brown nubs in his mouth one by one, sucking on them intently, he lowers himself over Makoto and starts thrusting on top of the brunet.

“N-No…Not there…Annhh…Unnnn…If you keep…Sou-…Unnhhh…I’ll cum….”

“That’s the idea Makoto.”

Sousuke finally leaves Makoto’s chest alone and shoves his tongue into the boy’s mouth. They both cum mid-kiss, panting wordlessly, like animals in heat.

“What was that, Sou-san? It felt so good…” Makoto is running his fingers through Sousuke’s sweaty hair as the older man lays collapsed on his chest.

“Mmmm? What was what?” It’s nice and warm here. Makoto’s sweet smell and Sousuke’s own musk mixed up together. His one-man harem. He doesn’t need all those other Makotos. This one right here, smiling under him, is just fine with Sousuke.

“Never mind, Sou-san. Can we get some breakfast now? I feel a bit dizzy from...all the…uhh…” Makoto is blushing again. Pink as a fresh peony.

Sousuke realizes that Makoto’s blushes are a thing of beauty. They come in so many different shades of pink and red, ranging from innocently rosy to romantically sunsetty to lewdly rouge. All the way from cheeks to the tips of the boy’s ears. Heating up his entire body. Sousuke wants to know every single shade of blush, to memorize every cadence of Makoto’s moaning voice. He wants to mark Makoto with his teeth all over, letting the world know that this particular green-eyed beauty belongs to him and only him.

“Sou-san? You’re spacing out again.” Makoto chuckles softly, his fingers still twisting and untwisting strands of Sousuke’s hair around their slenderness.

_Since when the fuck do I think like this? Blushing and romance and marking my territory? What the hell has this boy done to me…_

Sousuke cannot bring himself to let Makoto go just yet. He becomes overly aware of the way his wrist watch is ticking time away as it rests by his pillow on the futon they’ve shared for these past few days.

This is not like Sousuke. This is not like him. This is messing with his head. He has to get away. He must.

Raising himself up and away from Makoto, Sousuke sits back on the futon, still a little out of breath. Makoto pushes himself up on his elbows, straining his upper body to sit straight.

And then they’re kissing again.

It seems endless. And Sousuke is helpless against his own desire.

The quick toast and tea breakfast, the hurried phone calls to Rei and Nagisa and Makoto’s mother to confirm their return to Tokyo next morning- these are all minor interruptions. Makoto and Sousuke are glued to each other all day long. After breakfast, Sousuke remained on his chair while Makoto straddled him, still naked.

Evening falls, lunch is forgotten, and both men are still wrapped up in each other, losing count of how many kisses, how many moans, how many times calling out each other’s names, losing themselves, always ending up with Makoto in Sousuke’s lap somehow…

This is the first time for both of them to experience this particular kind of closeness for this long.

It is as frightening as it is overwhelming.

As a silvery moon rises over the calm waters of the ocean outside the window, Sousuke forces Makoto out of his lap, stretching his legs and arms. The old shoulder injury is acting up a little from the strain of messing around all day long. Sousuke massages it a little bit, and walks towards the stove to cook ramen for dinner. Again.

At least he’ll be able to have some proper food when they return.

To be honest, Sousuke’d rather have ramen every day of his life if it meant being able to taste Makoto for dessert afterwards.

“Sou-san, are you okay?” Makoto is gazing over at him from across the table. Dinner is finished and they’re both lingering in their chairs, wondering who will initiate the inevitable h-stuff again.

Sousuke realizes he’s been massaging his shoulder unconsciously, staring at the vast expanse of water outside, longing to be inside it.

“Oh. Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just an old injury. Bugs me sometimes.” He smiles fondly at Makoto, wanting the boy back in his arms.

“Injury? Like during your time as a cop? Was it a shootout?”  Makoto’s eyes widen in awe at his own imagination.

“Nothing so cool I’m afraid. It’s older than that. When I was on my high school’s swim team. I overworked myself and uh…Never mind. It’s ancient history.” Sousuke sighs despite himself, suddenly thinking of glistening red hair and a flash of sharp white teeth…It’s been a while since Rin crossed his mind like this.

Love makes you do stupid things. And Sousuke’s never been good at pacing himself.

“Oh. Sorry to hear that. You know, I love swimming too. I use my university’s pool a lot. I wanted to be a professional swimmer. But I’m not talented enough. I’m just… Oh well.” Makoto smiles a little sadly, looking away from Sousuke again.

A hushed silence falls over them, and only the sound of the waves breaking on the shore can be heard- a little sacred, a little frightening- like a summoning bell.

So of course it’s inevitable that an half an hour later, the moonlit night sees them both undressed completely, kissing in the shallow water.

“Wanna go a bit deeper?” Sousuke asks huskily, as Makoto rubs both their hard cocks together, their bodies partly submerged in the water.

“Oh...Unnhh…Will your shoulder be....hhh…okay?” Makoto looks suddenly frightened, holding on tighter with his free hand.

Sousuke doesn’t have time to reassure Makoto as he cums, grunting and shuddering all over.

“It’ll be fine Makoto.” Sousuke pulls Makoto closer, kissing his neck, sucking hard at the collarbone, leaving another mark on the boy.

As Makoto continues rubbing his own cock, Sousuke’s hands cup his ass. One finger finds its way into the opening, and Makoto lets out a little yelp- his trademark puppy in distress yelp- at the intrusion. The yelp turns into a moan which turns into requests of _fuck me, fuck me please_ as Sousuke moves first one, then two, then three fingers inside him, thrusting, plunging until Makoto cums too.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Sousuke kisses Makoto again, noticing how the boy’s blush is visible in the dark, under the light of the moon, like pale violet bruises on his pretty cheeks.

“Ummm…You’ll think I’m stupid but…I’m kinda scared…” Makoto mumbles, shying away from Sousuke’s questioning gaze.

“Scared? Of what Makoto?”

“Ummm…The ocean…It’s so…The depth of it, the unpredictability…I feel like…What if I lose myself in it? What if I never find my way back to the shore again?” Makoto looks back at Sousuke, deep into the teal eyes, thinking shapeless thoughts.

Sousuke feels like Makoto isn’t really looking for an answer.

“I’m here, right? I’m with you. I’ll protect you. No matter what. So trust me Makoto.” With a soft kiss on the forehead, Sousuke leads Makoto out into the water, away from the surety of land.

Makoto stays close to Sousuke even after they let go of each other, enjoying the primal feel of water on their bare muscles.

Sousuke finds himself thinking about _love_ again. It feels unnatural to him, to love someone more than himself if he doesn’t have to. If he isn’t obliged to by the bonds of blood.

What he felt for Rin was nothing more than the misplaced, lust-driven aggression of youthful ambition. What he felt for his fiancée was the laborious responsibility of living a successful adult life.

But this is different.

He is out at sea now, without any bearings, without any maps. Only the stars above him, and the moonlight reflected in Makoto’s eyes.

What people talk about- all these expectations about what love is supposed to be- none of that holds true right now.

It’s true that Makoto has a bewitching smile, a musical moaning voice, and it should be illegal for him to appear before anyone else but Sousuke with his wet hair pushed back like _that_ …But none of it matters…

The plumpness of Makoto’s reddish lips, the tautness of his muscles as he arches his back in orgasm, the spectacular color of his eyes…These things don’t matter. They could be or they couldn’t be.

Sousuke doesn’t know how to explain it to himself.

These things attracted him because they belong to Makoto. _Because they’re Makoto’s._ On anyone else, they wouldn’t matter one bit.

_It’s because it’s him._

_It’s because it’s Makoto._

Sousuke knows he is in danger. He knows it’s already too late. To find out if Makoto feels the same. To worry about all of this being another one of Makoto’s games, a way for Makoto to cure his boredom. To wonder which of Sousuke’s balls Makoto’s father will cut off first after finding out that his son’s bodyguard has been fingerfucking Makoto's kinda virgin asshole.

As Makoto yelps in terror, thinking he’s seen a shark fin in the distance, hugging Sousuke around the waist, trembling with childish fear, almost drowning them both- Sousuke realizes he's already been pulled under by the incoming tide.

Despite his aching shoulder, he holds onto to Makoto, working his legs steadily to keep them both above the water.

 Swimming back to shore, kissing on the sand, almost falling asleep in the moonlight.

So dreamlike, so strange.

Sousuke is afraid of going back, of returning Makoto to Tokyo, to university, to his friends.

He doesn’t want to ever let go.

But he has to.

It must end. But that doesn’t mean anything.

If Makoto wants, Sousuke will be his servant forever, watch over him forever- pay or no pay.

The green eyes have him captive. He is already lost to himself. There is no sign of land. No rescue ship at the horizon.

 Sousuke lays down his arms in defeat, ready to surrender to the oncoming storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been busy, and it looks like my life is going to continue being a bit demanding over the holidays, so there will be fewer updates compared to before. Sorry about that. Hope you enjoyed this.


	13. The Day of the Return (and the Night)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah my life has been so excruciatingly busy, but I just had to get this chapter out of my system. Even though I have to be up at 7 in the morning. The smut is making its way back. And it will intensify in future chapters. At least that's the plan. Plus emotions will get involved. And some jealousy. And some drama. There's a plot now. Maybe. But probably a feelings-oriented plot. Where is this going? Who knows?

“Unnh…Sou-san…” Makoto is in the shower, lathering himself up with his favorite body wash, enjoying the luxury of endless hot water and expansive space after what feels like an eternity. One fist gripping his cock, a couple of fingers inside his asshole, Makoto cannot help but fantasize about the things he and Sousuke got up to by the end of their stay.

He wants more. More of Sousuke’s hands and mouth. Most of all, he wants Sousuke’s cock. He wants to give himself up to the older man.

Despite the fact that Makoto has gotten fairly comfortable with his body after being friends with Kisumi and Nagisa for so long, he is still quite shy on the inside. Kissing and groping and even sucking off- he’s okay with all that. He’s done it all, and enjoyed the resulting pleasure.

But his ‘first time’ has to be something special. He has stood by that fantasy of losing his anal virginity to someone who matters (though Kisumi pointed out on multiple occasions that Makoto has already plundered his own ass multiple times with a variety of lubed-up dildos, Makoto doesn’t count that at all).

The question now is whether Sousuke is that _someone special_ for Makoto.

Makoto has been thinking about this ever since they got back, and he still cannot understand why Sousuke makes him feel this way. He wants to talk to someone about this weird little erratic beating pattern his heart performs when he crosses eyes with Sousuke.

But telling his mother is out of the question. And Nagisa cannot keep a secret. And Kisumi will only make fun of Makoto for having no taste and chasing after a ‘commoner’. And Gou will probably disapprove, telling Makoto he’s too young to be thinking about stupid things like ‘love’. It seems a hopeless case as far as he can see.

On the drive back to Tokyo, Sousuke had resumed his businesslike brusqueness, as if nothing had happened between them. He kept his eyes away from Makoto, making sure there was no touching between them, not even accidental brushes of the hand. It made Makoto feel hurt and horny all at the same time, and he clutched onto to Pocky-chan (who had been disgracefully discarded in favor of Sousuke’s bodily warmth during the ‘getaway trip’), pouting while gazing outside the car’s window.

Makoto spent a good half hour in the car pinning his hair back as usual, just to distract himself from the way every cell in his body kept screaming for Sousuke. He had gotten used to letting it fall across his forehead, used to the way Sousuke’s fingers brushed his bangs aside to caress his face. Through the corner of his eye, Makoto could see Sousuke glancing his way, always making sure to avoid direct eye contact.

And after getting back, grimy from the long drive home, Makoto returned the favor to Sousuke, and ran off to his room without looking back or thanking his bodyguard. Sousuke didn’t notice anyway, busily chatting with Rei about what went on in their absence.

Despite being worried about his family, and wanting to see them right away, the shower eases away Makoto’s anxiety, and his thoughts wander back to the hours spent sitting naked in Sousuke’s lap, succumbing to wave after wave of pleasure.

And that is how Makoto ended up fingering himself in the shower while jerking off.

“Please hurry up, Makoto. Your mother has called around 6 times now, and she wants to see you.” Rei knocks at the washroom door just as Makoto cums all over his hand- gasping, barely able to stand upright.  

“Uhh…Yeah, okay…Just a bit more, Rei. I’ll be right out.” Makoto has to fight down Sousuke’s name from escaping his mouth. All he can think about is the way Sousuke’s hands held his hips, firm but gentle, while their tongues sloppily danced around each other, strands of saliva dripping down Makoto’s chin onto his bare chest, which Sousuke licked off shamelessly. Sousuke had basically licked Makoto all over. His skin tingles helplessly at the memory of it.

It’s too much to take- all that uninterrupted intimacy suddenly gone- replaced by this cold distance. There has to be a way to remedy this. As the palest hint of a ‘plan’ starts taking shape inside Makoto’s lust-filled mind, he smiles a sideways little smile, and gets out of the shower.

Blow-drying his hair, pinning it back again, picking out a pair of slightly ripped jeans and a comfortable, slightly oversized sweatshirt, Makoto applies just a hint of the palest pink cherry blossom flavored lip gloss, puckers his lips, smirks happily at his reflection in the slightly fogged up mirror, and emerges from his room.

Sousuke and Rei are sitting at the table, drinking tea and talking comfortably.

“I’m ready to go.” Makoto gives his best closed-up-eyes and tilted-head smile to Rei, ignoring Sousuke altogether.

“Right. Okay. Well, your mother wants to meet you and Yamazaki-san for tea. The usual place. She wants to thank Yamazaki-san for taking care of you, and to make sure you’re fed properly. Not to mention she probably wants a break herself, being confined indoors with your, ummm, _delightful_ siblings for so long.” Rei adjusts his glasses as he talks, nodding approvingly at Sousuke.

_Well, this is just fucking perfect. Wouldn’t Okasan just love to hear how many times Sou-san came inside my mouth…_

Being around Sousuke and his mother at the same time…

And his mother has always been able to read him with such ease. This is going to be a tough one for Makoto.

Sousuke is ready to go, and he looks, well, _handsome_. There is no other word for it. Freshly showered, clean-shaven, wearing a crisp new suit- not black, but navy blue this time- with the top buttons undone (and no tie, as usual), and just the right amount of cologne, with an underlying hint of basic soap-scent. His hair is no longer messy, but gelled back, slick and precise. Makoto blushes at the sight, and then blushes even more when he realizes he’s blushing. All he wants to do is mess up Sousuke’s suit and his perfect hair, writhing around in bed with him.

Makoto is almost about to sit in the passenger seat next to Sousuke when he catches himself. Sousuke has his sunglasses on (a pair of aviators, which complete the picture, and make Makoto drool a little), holding the back door open, tapping one foot impatiently. No words are exchanged between them, and Makoto stops trying to catch Sousuke’s eyes after a while, not knowing which way the older man is looking behind those dark lenses anyway.

Makoto doesn’t like being out of control. And here he is now; out-gamed, out-dressed, out-everythinged by Sousuke.

Surprisingly, it makes his cock all twitchy instead of angering him. He is turned on by this cool and contained Sousuke. He wants to be taken to a hotel room, stripped naked, tied up, and teased all night by this suited-up, coldly smirky Sousuke.  

During tea with his mother, Makoto is too focused on shoving his face with pastries and sandwiches to worry about anything else. Days and days of living on instant ramen will do that to a person. Sousuke turns on the charm for Makoto’s mother in a way than has never been seen before, and Makoto is in awe of the teal-eyed man.

There is a moment of awkwardness when Sousuke unthinkingly brushes a thumb against Makoto’s lower lip to get rid of the chocolate cream smeared across it. As Sousuke licks the cream off his thumb with the tiniest twitch of his lips, Makoto turns beet red. Fortunately, Makoto’s mother is too busy fussing over something trivial on the phone with one of the twins, and doesn’t seem to notice this exchange at all.

With promises of having Sousuke over to her house for dinner, and a kiss on Makoto’s cheek, she turns to go.

“Do take care of my son, Yamazaki-san. He’s a sweet boy, but he’s all show and no substance. I’m glad he has someone sensible like you to look after him.” Even though she is half Sousuke’s height, she makes it look as if she is looking down on him. She holds Sousuke’s eyes just a bit longer than necessary, as if scanning him. Makoto can tell that Sousuke’s composure is ruffled by this. Still, he bows with a stiff grace, and holds the door open for her while Makoto lingers back.

The drive home is silent again. Makoto doesn’t want to be the first one to give in, and Sousuke shows no sign of breaking down.

_Another game. Is that all this means to Sousuke? Seduce the boss’s son and then make him beg for it?_

The late evening tea at the restaurant leaves them both too full to have dinner, and they retreat to their respective rooms right away.

Without having exchanged a single word all day.

This is too much for Makoto.

He goes straight to his room, flops on his bed, and initiates a group call on Skype with his friends, laughing and talking happily after what feels like years apart, distracted for the time being. All three of them had wanted to come over right away, but Makoto asked them to give him a day off. To recover from being tired, he’d told them.

But that’s not the truth at all…

It’s around midnight that the call ends, and Makoto is left alone again with thoughts of Sousuke.

The lights are all turned out, which means Rei has already gone to bed.

It’s now or never.

Dressed in nothing but his oversized sweatshirt, his hair unpinned again, Makoto tiptoes all the way to Sousuke’s room.

Sousuke watches him come in quietly, completely unfazed, holding his book a little lower to observe Makoto.

Without a word, Makoto climbs onto Sousuke’s bed, making his way up to the older man, taking away his book, tossing it aside, pulling away the sheets, and straddling him.

Without a word, they kiss- hungrily, unskillfully, wetly- like a couple of super horny teenagers.

Without a word, Sousuke pushes Makoto onto the bed, on his back, and lifts his sweatshirt up, exposing Makoto’s nipples, taking them in his mouth one by one. Biting, tugging, making them all swollen and pinker than ever.  

It’s understood implicitly between them how far this is supposed to go. Making out, leaving marks everywhere, agitated handjobs- all of it ending with Sousuke cumming all over Makoto’s face, and Makoto fingering himself to completion at the same time.

Caught up in this wordless pleasure, they fall asleep in each other’s arms, leg in tangles, sweaty, warm, flushed- losing all sense of time and place.

And that is why Rei panics himself to an early death upon finding Makoto’s bed empty in the morning, and ends up screaming bloody murder after frantically rushing to Sousuke’s room to alert him to Makoto’s absence.

Because Sousuke and Makoto are both naked in bed.

Together.

Covered in hickeys (especially Makoto’s chest).

Arms around each other, smiling as if in complete bliss.


	14. The Day of the Confession

Sousuke’s eyes flicker open slowly.

Someone is screaming. Pretty close by, from the sound of it.

Could it be Makoto? No he doesn’t scream like that. He goes more like “Annnnnhhhh”.

This is a different kind of scream.

And a different person who is doing the screaming.

The warm and comfortable weight resting on Sousuke’s chest shifts around.

Was he hugging a pillow when he fell asleep? Pillows don’t move of their own accord though…

In a blinding flash of revelatory light, Sousuke’s eyes open completely, and he takes in the sight of a red-faced, screaming Rei. At the same time, last night’s memories come rushing back, and he realizes that the warmth next to him is Makoto’s naked body.

_Uh-oh._

_That is not good._

Sousuke has to be shittiest bodyguard ever.

“Stop screaming Rei, please.” It’s Makoto who takes the initiative, speaking in a hushed voice to calm Rei down.

Since both Makoto and Sousuke are naked, they can’t exactly get up and physically prevent Rei from calling down the wrath of every deity his high-pitched squealing can find access to.

Sousuke could never have guessed from looking at Rei that he could ever makes a sound like 100 fire engines going off simultaneously. He thinks he’ll go deaf.

“Rei, please. Calm down, it’s okay.” Makoto tries to scramble out of bed to physically stop the alarm-sound being emitted out of Rei’s open mouth without a single pause.

Just before Makoto exposes his man-bits and his bare ass to his already-distraught butler, Sousuke grabs him by the waist and deposits him back in bed, under the covers.

_It’s not jealousy- this feeling to protect Makoto from the gaze of other people. Not at all. It’s um, just a way to, errrr make sure Rei doesn’t get even more upset. Yeah, that’s it…_

“Rei-chan! Did you find him? What’s happened?” As if the situation isn’t already dire enough, Nagisa enters the room, stopping short at the door, gasping loudly before covering his mouth with both hands.

And then the hands come away, arms shoot up in the air, and Nagisa lets out a high-pitched squeal of triumph.

“You finally made a move, Mako! Good for you!” At this proclamation, Rei finally stops screaming to gape at Nagisa.

Sousuke finds his body temperature rising again, and Makoto goes red in the face, sighing exasperatedly at Nagisa.

“W-What does this mean, Yamazaki-san? You are supposed to be protecting him. Not- not- not….” Rei tries to formulate some kind of an accusation to level at Sousuke, but his words falter and halt before he can complete it.

“Oh, hush Rei-chan. I think it’s sooooo romantic. Plus, Mako has been trying to seduce Sou-san since day 1? Isn’t that right, Mako?” Nagisa beams happily around the room, as if waiting for applause.

“Nagisa, please, stop talking.” Makoto buries his face instinctively in the crook of Sousuke’s shoulder, wanting to disappear from sight.

Sousuke silently weighs his options.

  1. **_Oh boy was I drunk last night, how the hell did Makoto get into bed with me? Gee I don’t have a clue._**
  2. **_This green-eyed demon, he slipped something in my tea and seduced me! Help!_**
  3. **_Teleportation…?_**
  4. **_Sleep-walking Makoto found me somehow and somehow we both ended up naked, while still sleeping, not at all conscious…_**



 

Or

 

  1. **_Accept responsibility and get ready to have balls chopped off by angry yakuza folks._**



Once Sousuke goes over these choices in his head, he knows what he must do. What he wants to do.

He realizes there wasn’t a choice to begin with, really.

Makoto is…He isn’t just anyone.

“Ryugazaki-san, please calm down. I…I’m in love with Makoto. And I take responsibility for everything. We haven’t exactly….I mean he’s still…I mean….It hasn’t gotten very far yet. If you want to tell his father about this, I won’t stop you. If you want to fire me, I understand. I definitely no longer deserve to keep this job. But…I can’t exactly back off from this. Not unless Makoto tells me to.” It feels like a burden has lifted off his chest. For the first time in his life, Sousuke is ready for whatever stinking ball of crap life has to throw his way. He’ll stand up straight and accept the repercussions.

His declaration does not have the desired effect at all.

Nagisa’s hands fly back to his mouth.

Rei looks genuinely surprised, lowering his glasses to peer at Sousuke.

And Makoto is looking up at him, his lips slightly apart, his cheeks flushed the pinkest of pinks.  

“You…You’re in love with me?” Makoto’s voice is as sweet as honeyed wine. Probably. Sousuke has no idea what honeyed wine tastes like, but it sounds like it’d be something nice and romantic. Anyway, it fits the situation, so who cares.

“I…Well, I wouldn’t just…You know…Everything we’ve done…I wouldn’t just do it with anyone, would I?” Sousuke tightens his grasp around Makoto’s waist, smiling at the blushing boy.

“This is…This is unprecedented. I don’t know how to deal with this.” Rei throws up his hands in apparent defeat, his lips starting to twitch at the corners.

“Well, Rei-chan. We could just keep their secret, you know. No one else needs to know. Well, not yet anyway. Not until they’re ready to…” Nagisa chimes in thoughtfully, observing Makoto and Sousuke with a serious gaze.

“Until what? Until Sousuke asks Makoto’s father for his son’s hand in marriage? And Tachibana-san castrates him and throws his corpse into the ocean? Until then?” Rei’s amusement gives way to trepidation.

Even as visuals of a screaming Makoto begging his father for mercy, while Sousuke is being tortured, spin in front of Sousuke’s vision, he can’t help but notice the concern in Rei’s voice.

“I don’t think dad would do that…” Makoto lowers his gaze, entwining his fingers with Sousuke’s.

“He’s right Rei-chan. Let’s be honest. Oya-ji’s been waiting for a good excuse to kick Makoto out as his primary heir. This would be perfect for him.” Nagisa places a hand on Rei’s shoulder, looking sadly at Makoto.  

“Be that as it may, I still think it won’t go over well with Tachibana-san.” Rei doesn’t seem convinced by the boys’ shabby reasoning, and Sousuke internally agrees with him.

It is not going to be that simple.

“So then let’s hide it for now. Right Mako? We won’t tell anyone about this, will we Rei-chan?” Nagisa clutches Rei’s arm with both hands, trying to convince him.

“Yes. Okay. Fine. For now…” Rei shoots a final look of disapproval at Sousuke and walks out of the room, followed closely by Nagisa.

After they leave, an uncomfortable silence falls over Makoto and Sousuke.

“You didn’t have to say that, you know.” Makoto mumbles quietly, eyes still looking down. Slowly, reluctantly, his hand lets of Sousuke’s.

“Say what?” Sousuke feels a strange surge of blood and heat rushing to his chest. He has never felt this way before, of that much he’s sure. He feels like he will overflow with this alien sensation.

“That you…you know…the thing about…” Makoto cannot bring himself to repeat the confession.

“That I’m in love with you? But I am. And it’s okay if you don’t feel that way about me, Makoto. It’s fine. I don’t want to pressure you.” Sousuke runs his fingers through Makoto’s hair softly, cajolingly.

He feels Makoto trembling slightly all over, and wonders if there’s a little more time this morning to carry on from last night.

But before he can place a thumb under Makoto’s chin and tilt his face upwards to steal a kiss, Makoto wriggles out of his arms, and climbs out of bed.

“I don’t think…I don’t feel that way about you, Sou-san. I don’t…Love is…It’s a big deal. And I’ve been thinking about it. But I’m not sure. I’m just not sure. And if that’s how you feel…I can’t…We can’t continue this if I can’t return your feelings. It would be…I’m sorry…I know I started this…But…I don’t want this anymore…I’m sorry, Sou-san.” Awkwardly throwing on his sweatshirt, and pulling its hem down with both hands to cover up, Makoto starts to leave.

“Oh…I….Would it be better if I quit then?” Sousuke has had his heart broken before. He has been left behind by people who meant the world to him with any reason at all. He should be used to the pain by now. He should shout at Makoto, call him a spoiled brat, push him out of the way, gather what’s left of his dignity, and quit his job right now.

“I…No, please. That would be…I don’t want you to be out of a livelihood because of me. That would make me unhappy. Sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m…” Makoto looks clearly distressed, fighting back tears.

“Right. No it’s okay. We’ll pretend nothing happened. I’ll talk to Rei. Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.” Sousuke’s heart goes so numb it might well be made of ice. All he knows is, no matter how much he wants to go down on his knees and beg Makoto not to leave, he cannot see the boy in distress.

Makoto cannot be unhappy because of Sousuke.

_This must be what they call love then._

_Fuck it all._

“Makoto. I’m not giving up.” Sousuke finds himself unable to move, his arm still suspended around the thin air where Makoto was, just a minute ago.

“Sou-san…”

“And Makoto, I don’t play fair.”                    

For a second it looks like Makoto will get right back in bed with Sousuke. But then he turns around and leaves.

Sousuke leans back against the headboard.

Of all the “fuck-yous” the universe has thrown his way, this has to be the worst.

Surprisingly enough, Sousuke finds himself smiling at the ceiling, challenging the powers that be.

The worst has already happened. But he won’t accept defeat this time.

_You don’t wanna give him to me? Fine. Be that way._

_I’ll take him anyway._

_Two can play this game._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops ^ↀᴥↀ^
> 
> Don't worry, this just means an aggressive Sousuke trying to aggressively seduce Makoto in the next update. And yes, Makoto is definitely so weak for a Sousuke who takes charge. So weak.


	15. A Day Spent With Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Where'd all this (sort of) plot come from?   
> Kisumi's internal POV this time.

“Are you sure about this Mako-chan?” Nagisa side-eyes him warily, his chocolate pudding half-eaten.

“I told you, I’m sure. You’re either going to support me or you’re going to let me go alone. That’s up to you. I have made up my mind, so stop nagging.” Makoto slams a fist on the table, turning over Kou’s strawberry lemonade.

“Honestly. You boys are such children.” She throws a bunch of napkins at Makoto’s face, gesturing for him to clean up the table, and raises her eyebrows questioningly at Nagisa.

“Yes, yes, I’ll get you a new one, O Hime-sama.” Nagisa mumbles as he gulps down his remaining pudding in two giant spoonfuls and gets up to fetch Kou’s drink.

“What’s brought this on, Makoto? You’ve always been so…How do I put this without sounding like an asshole?...Hmmm…You’re normally so…. You know, vanilla.” Kisumi is resting his face in one hand, smirking a little cruelly at Makoto.

“How hard did you try to not sound like anus, Kisumi? ‘Cause I don’t think it worked.” Makoto snarls at him, clearly agitated at being compared to the most basic flavor in existence.

Kisumi throws up his hands in a gesture of peace, and calms himself down. It’s a lie though, that Makoto is vanilla. He’s more like strawberries swirling in champagne, so guilelessly erotic, it boggles the mind. And after all, it’s not Makoto’s fault that Haru is in love with him, and not Kisumi.

“Okay what is wrong with you two?” Kou looks from one to the other questioningly.

Though Makoto spends most of his time with Nagisa, it’s Kisumi he’s closest to. This rift between the two of them, inexplicable and sudden, is throwing the group dynamic off balance.

“Don’t ask me. I didn’t decide to be a jerk all of a sudden. I thought you’d all be happy to see me safe and alive.” Makoto crosses his arms, glaring at Kisumi.

“We are, Mako-chan. Of course we are.” Nagisa takes his seat next to Makoto, offering Kou her drink with a slight bow.

“He’s not.” Makoto continues to scowl at Kisumi.

“What the hell, Makoto! Of course I am…I’m sorry…I don’t know why I’m acting like this.” Kisumi sighs dejectedly, and quickly smiles his carefree smile, seeing the sudden look of concern on his friends’ faces.

“It’s okay. I’ve been…I haven’t been the best company since coming back, either.” Makoto huffs and starts playing with his newly acquired set of hello kitty hairclips.

“Here, I’ll do your hair Mako!” Nagisa chants gleefully, grabbing at the collection of pastel pink and red accessories.

“Honestly, I stopped wearing those when I was 10 Makoto.” Kou clucks her tongue while Kisumi laughs indulgently.

“Hey! I keep telling you, they’re a gift!” Makoto’s ears redden slightly as he defends his hair accessories.

“Who would give a grown-ass man such a gift? Was it Ran?” Kou snorts a little bit, making Makoto flush darkly.

How could you not love Makoto, when he blushes like that at the age of 20, somehow managing to look boyish and sexy at the same time? It would turn anyone’s head.

Kisumi knows he’s picked the wrong battle, but it’s too late anyway. But he has no intention of hurting his best friend, or hating him, just because of this sordid love triangle he’s landed himself into. As far as Kisumi knows, Makoto has no idea how Haru feels about him. Right? _Right?_

And what will poor old Kisumi do if the feelings between his best friend and the ice-cold demi-god he’s so madly in love with turn out to be mutual?

Kisumi shudders all over at this thought, and tries to shake off the inescapable feeling of his heart breaking in slow motion, its bits and pieces settling down like so much dead weight at the base of his spine.

“You’re all hiding stuff from me, and I don’t like it.” Kou pulls at Kisumi’s earlobe, almost taking his ruby stud right out.

“Hey watch it!” Kisumi yelps, jumping back from her.

Even while sitting in a public café, the four of them shut out the world and conjure up their little castle in the air, carrying about their bubble world like a portable device, taking it out and setting it up whenever they want.

Nagisa is calmly brushing back Makoto’s hair with a comb he’s retrieved from his messenger bag, and is placing hello kitties everywhere, concentrating very hard.

Makoto is smiling at some secret thought he’s had. The dreamy look he gets nowadays, without any real reason, makes him seem even prettier than before.

Kou is busy texting to her mystery boyfriend. The only _mystery_ really is which one of the Mikoshiba brothers she’s chosen.

After observing his little group of friends quietly for a while, Kisumi makes up his mind. He knows he can never really deny them anything. Especially Makoto.

“Ugh. Fine. Next weekend. I’ll take you to my usual guy. Happy, Mako?”

“Really Kisumi? Thanks! I’ll owe you one, I swear!” His best friend’s beaming smile warms his heart.

“A navel piercing though. You don’t even have your ears pierced. What possessed you to do that?” Kou shakes her head exasperatedly at Makoto.

“By the way, what kind of stones are you going to get for the barbell?” Nagisa inquires while securing a stray bang with a small pink clip adorned with strawberries. A little mix and match to bring diversity to the abundance of cats.

“Ummm I was thinking an emerald for the top, and um like, a turquoise for the lower bit?” Makoto gets the same dreamy smile again that’s been throwing Kisumi off ever since he got back. Normally, Kisumi is privy to all of Makoto’s secrets, but not this time. And it makes him feel uneasy.

“That sounds special. It’ll have to get custom made, won’t it? Green and blue. Any special reason for those choices, Mako?” Sharp as ever, Kou leans forward, smiling knowingly at him.

“Ahhh…Ummm, not really. I thought…It’s a nice combination, isn’t it? Plus turquoise isn’t like totally blue, is it?” Makoto shies away from the question, blushing harder than ever.

 

_Blue and green, huh._

_That’s…That would be…That means…_

_Could it be possible? Has Haru finally found the courage to confess?_

_Nah. He couldn’t have._

_Could he?_

_Maybe this little scare sending Makoto away from them all was enough for Haru to take the step at last…_

Kisumi suddenly feels sick to his stomach, as if his Café Affogato will come right out of him.

A hushed silence falls around the table as all four of them lose focus, lost in unshared thoughts, dreaming private dreams.

This slow parting of ways as friends grow older, drifting apart, having secrets that can no longer be confided in whispers at sleepovers and notes passed around during class. This has to be the worst thing about becoming an adult, as far as Kisumi is concerned. All these nauseating secrets.

He and Makoto have shared everything, every experience, since they were toddlers.

And now…

Who knows what Makoto’s thinking?

It makes Kisumi sad. Kisumi, who has always avoided commitment and permanence to avoid getting hurt. Kisumi who, despite trying his hardest, already has too many things to be sad about.

“It’s time to go.” They’re so lost in their personal reveries that they don’t notice Makoto’s bodyguard walk in, holding up his jacket, waiting patiently by their table.

“Uh…Oh. Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was getting…” Makoto gets up a little too quickly, knocking over his empty coffee cup.

Kisumi finds himself staring at Makoto’s face, which has gone unnaturally red after looking at Sou-san.

“It’s fine. I went to the place across the street for a cup of coffee.” The older man is smirking slightly, helping Makoto get dressed to go out into the early autumn chill as if he’s still a toddler.

“Awww, you could have just had coffee with us, Sou-san! Do you like how I did Makoto’s hair? Isn’t it cute? I wonder where he got so many new clips from, though.” Nagisa chirps away, and Sousuke smiles at him quite fondly. Not at all like the usual irritation he’s prone to treating Makoto and his friends with.

“Thanks for the offer Nagisa-kun, but I prefer to be alone with my coffee. And the clips do look rather good, Makoto.” Sousuke continues smiling, his gaze finding Makoto and resting a little longingly on his face.

Kisumi suddenly feels his breath catch in his throat. The way this teal-eyed man is looking at his best friend. It’s a bit too fond. The way he smooths the fabric of Makoto’s jacket, his hands lingering a bit too long at the waist. It’s a bit too familiar.  

And from the way Makoto keeps blushing, touching his hair, playing with the tiny hello kitties adorning it, not really meeting his bodyguard’s eyes- it’s really all too obvious.

And of course he’s not the only one to notice. Kou is gaping at the pair of them, midway between texting her boyfriend probably. Nagisa is guiltily averting his eyes, looking outside the window, pretending not to see the obvious display of barfingly sweet first-love type crap going on right in front of them. It’s also pretty clear that the little blond twerp already knows about this.

“Errr..Okay guys, I’ll see you tomorrow on campus then. Kisumi, remember your offer.” Makoto quickly turns around to leave, hoping to put an end to the sudden awkwardness, but he stumbles, and falls right into Sousuke’s arms.

The older man gracefully catches a hold of the younger one, and helps him stand upright again. Giving up all hope of continuing the flimsy farce, Makoto leaves the café, clutching his bodyguard’s sleeve to avoid any further missteps.

“Well then. What was that about? Care to explain, Nagisa?” Kisumi smiles lazily, feeling relieved for some strange reason, his heart as light as air.

“H-How would I know? I mean…What are you talking about, Kisumi? I don’t understand…” Nagisa goes pink in the face and stares determinedly at the empty pudding bowl in front of him.

“You cannot be serious. With his bodyguard? Is that actually happening? That is such a…” Kou tosses her phone aside, looking at Kisumi for some kind of reassurance.

“A cliché? Yeah, well. Did you expect anything less from our Makoto?” Kisumi should really have seen this coming. Of course. This is exactly something Makoto would do. Stupidly fall for the most impossible person around him.

And from looks of the dark haired man, with his flashing eyes that cannot seem to decide if they’re blue or green, Kisumi can tell that the feeling is mutual.

 

_Blue and green…_

_Of course…_

_How stupid of me…_

“All right, losers. I’m off.” Kisumi punches Kou lightly in the shoulder to bring her back to reality.

He doesn’t know why, but he needs to see Haru. He must see Haru right now.

As he rushes out of the café, huddling up against a sudden gust of wind, Kisumi is so lost in his own thoughts that he completely misses the sight of Makoto pushed up against the wall of the small alleyway next to the café, being kissed breathless by his overbearing bodyguard.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh sorry about the lack of smut. Again. I'm full of feelings and I can't help unload them on fictional characters because I'm kind of a asshole irl. The next couple of chapters will be smut-heavy, I swear. I mean imagine the things Sousuke will do after Makoto gets his belly button pierced.


	16. What Happened the Night Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke gets a little sexually aggressive in this chapter. But Makoto is very much into it. If this kind of thing is bothersome for you, stay away.  
> The chapter is set the night before the last one, when Makoto meets up with his friends.

Sousuke picks up the Hello Kitty hairclips on a whim.

After Rei and Makoto have gone to their bedrooms after dinner, he goes out for a walk, trying to sort out his feelings.

It's been a week since Makoto put a stop to their budding relationship. To be quite honest, Sousuke had not expect Makoto to draw back so suddenly. Even though all Sousuke wanted to do at that moment was grab Makoto’s hair and kiss him until they were both panting and hard, unable to let go of each other, he had somehow managed to restrain himself.

He’d even surprised himself with the eloquence of his speech. When he said he’d wait for Makoto, that he’d do what Makoto wanted instead of imposing his feelings on the boy, Sousuke had meant every word.

Makoto is the one for Sousuke. Makoto is worth waiting for. 

Grabbing a cheap coffee and a packet of smokes from the nearest convenience store, Sousuke happens to notice the gaudy little hairclips. He has an inkling that Makoto will like them. And before he can stop himself, he pays for them and walks back to the condo, humming giddily to himself.

That’s right, Sousuke is going to woo Makoto back with cute little presents. He will start with hairclips, then maybe chocolates, and then get Makoto one of those weird long-necked sheep thingies he likes so much.

After changing into a pair of blue cotton sleeping trousers (he likes to sleep shirtless mostly),  Sousuke thinks about leaving the clips on the backseat of the car in the morning like he did with the chocolates, for Makoto to find. But something inside his chest keeps throbbing painfully. He wants to see Makoto right now. He wants to give him the pink and red clips right now, and watch him smile as he sticks one in his hair.

So against his better judgment, and caught up in his obsessive love for the green-eyed boy, Sousuke Yamazaki quietly tiptoes his way to Makoto Tachibana’s bedroom. It’s dark and the door is closed. Makoto must already be asleep. Sighing softly, Sousuke almost turns back. Almost.

But he can’t really retrace his steps back to his cold, empty bed.

Sousuke turns the knob softly, hoping to leave the hairclips by Makoto’s pillow, plant a kiss on his forehead without waking him up maybe, and then call it a night.

As soon as he opens the door a little bit, he knows something is not quite right.

There is the sound of soft panting pervading the room, punctuated with breathy little moans.

After the week they spent in the little cabin by the beach, Sousuke recognizes the sounds immediately.

Sousuke knows he should turn back now. But his cock strongly disagrees with his mind.

Curiosity urges him on, and the bulge in his pants convinces him to quietly sneak into Makoto’s room instead of going back.

The soft yellow light of the lamp illuminates Makoto’s face- flushed, beaded with sweat, eyes closed, lips parted, gasping, moaning- focused completely on bringing himself pleasure.

Sousuke watches, dazed and so very horny.

It’s too late to turn back now.

He quietly approaches Makoto, and sits down on the bed beside him.

Makoto has pushed his t-shirt up, exposing his nipples, teasing them one by one. His underwear, pale green with a cherry blossoms print, are pushed down to expose his erect cock, which is gushing precum. Between his thighs, held firmly in his right hand, is the same pink dildo Sousuke caught him using once before. Makoto’s asshole is slick with lube, and he is pushing the dildo in and out rhythmically, his cock twitching with every thrust.

He looks so sexy, Sousuke doesn’t think he can control himself for much longer.

And in that instance, Makoto’s eyes flicker open, and he stops mid-moan as he notices Sousuke staring greedily at his exposed body.

His hands stop moving, and he quickly sits up, letting the dildo fall out.

His chest keeps heaving, glistening with sweat. His nipples are slightly swollen. His cock is still hard, throbbing painfully.

“Don’t stop on my account.” Sousuke smirks quietly at Makoto, enjoying the delicious Makoto-flavored visual feast before his eager eyes.

“S-Sou-san…” Makoto stays still, but his shock at finding Sousuke in his bedroom quickly turns into something else entirely.

Getting on all fours on his bed, Makoto moves closer to Sousuke, his eyes hungry with renewed lust.

Without bothering to take off Sousuke’s trousers, Makoto starts licking at his crotch, his tongue tracing the outline of Sousuke's hardness over the blue cotton fabric. Sousuke grunts in anticipation and repositions himself- sitting on top of the bed comfortably, his legs stretched before him- so Makoto can continue working his tongue easily. It also makes it easier for him to reach a hand over to Makoto’s backside, and shove a couple of fingers into his already lubricated entrance.

Makoto pauses between licks to let out a soft, purring sound at the intrusion, gyrating his hips to take full advantage of the situation.

“You like that, don’t you?” Sousuke adds a third finger, moving in and out of Makoto rapidly, enjoying the agitated expression on the boy’s face.

“Take out my cock and suck it properly. I can tell you’re hungry for it. Go, on.” Sousuke feels like he’s long past the point of return already, and lets his aggressive desire take over, ordering Makoto around.

Hastening to obey Sousuke’s command, Makoto’s face goes beet red, his asshole clenching around Sousuke’s fingers.

“You like being told what to do, don’t you, you spoiled brat?” Sousuke uses his free hand to push Makoto down on his hardness, savoring the way his tongue is lapping the length of Sousuke’s cock all over, taking him in deep. Makoto's head bobs up and down, and his mouth makes loud slurping sounds, as if Sousuke's cock is a large lollipop he's enjoying sucking on a little too much. 

Panting with pleasure, Sousuke realizes he wants more than this. More than the things they've done before. 

“Alright, that’s enough for now.” Sousuke knows where this is going, and when Makoto eases his mouth off his slick manhood, with a cute little _pop_ ,  he knows what’s next too.

“You’re ready, aren’t you, you horny little slut?” Sousuke can no longer stop the lewd words from leaving his mouth.

But Sousuke knows this what they both want right now. It’s obvious in the way Makoto nods, his shirt still pushed up above his chest, his dirtied underwear bunched up around his thighs as he sits up on his knees.

“What do you wanna do now, Makoto?” Sousuke cups the boy’s face with his hand, leaning forward to twist his nipples with the other.

“Unnh…I….I want your cock, Sou-sa..uunnhhhh....” Makoto is still erect, his hips still jerking a little from pent-up desire.

“Where do you want it, Makoto?”

“In my…Unnnhh…In my ass. Please, fuck me.”

“Look at the way you’re trembling all over. You want my cock that bad, you brat?”

“Unh huh…”

“Then help yourself. It’s right here, isn’t it?” Sousuke leans back against the headboard of Makoto's bed, his smile inviting and lascivious.

“You mean…”

“Come on. Ride me. That’s what you want right? You’re already nice and slick. Go get a condom. Hurry up, or I’ll get soft again.”

Makoto stares wordless at Sousuke for a bit before fumbling around in the bottom drawer of his bedside table. The packet is still closed, so it takes a while for Makoto to stop his hands from shaking long enough to pull a condom out.

“Use your mouth to put it on.”

Makoto obeys quietly, taking the condom between his teeth, and sliding it onto Sousuke’s cock effortlessly. A little too effortlessly. 

“How’re you so good at this? You told me you were a virgin, didn’t you?” The jealousy that twinges at Sousuke's heart somehow only serves to intensify his desire.

“We…We practiced. Kisumi and I. With…With dildos. I haven’t done this with anyone else before…Before now.” Makoto looks up from Sousuke’s lap, innocently, apprehensively.

Sousuke pulls him up and kisses him deeply. Makoto responds enthusiastically, sucking on Sousuke’s tongue.

“Hurry up now. Put my cock in.” Sousuke breaks the kiss to bark the order, unable to take it anymore.

Makoto raises his hips and moves forward on his knees, until he is in position. He lowers himself gingerly on Sousuke’s hardness, wincing a little as he takes it all in.

Suddenly Sousuke feels guilty, worried about hurting Makoto.

But before he can ask Makoto if he’s okay, that he doesn’t need to do this if it’s too painful, the boy initiates another kiss, and starts to move slowly.

“Unnnnhhh…Ahhhh….Sou-saann…” The slow, lingering moans escaping Makoto’s pink, slightly swollen lips intensify Sousuke’s pleasure, making him forget his momentary concern. It's clear that they're both enjoying every second of this. 

Placing his hands on the boy's slim hips, Sousuke’s mouth latches onto Makoto’s left nipple, which he knows to be a weak point.

Makoto tightens around Sousuke, letting out a strangled yelp of ecstasy, almost bouncing up and down in Sousuke’s lap. It looks as if Sousuke’s cock has found Makoto’s weakness, and Makoto eagerly moves up and down to get it to hit the right spot over and over again.

“You…Unnhh…You’re so big…Ahhh….Sou-san…You’re filling me up…Ahh-Ahhhhhh!!”

Sousuke comes first, gripping Makoto hard, slamming him down onto his gushing cock, and trapping his tongue in another kiss.

Makoto follows a few second later, screaming Sousuke’s name. Not _Sou-san_ , but a very sweet, very intense _Sousuke_.

Arms limp around Sousuke’s neck, face hidden in the crook of the teal-eyed man’s neck, Makoto stays in Sousuke’s lap, waiting for his breath to even out.

Sousuke wraps his arms around Makoto, letting his fingers lazily caress the hard lines of his toned back.

The suddenness of their fucking, the unprecedented invasion of their shared lust, has left them both unable to face each other.

“Are you okay, Mako?” Sousuke whispers in Makoto’s ear, biting softly on the earlobe.

Makoto lets out a little sigh as he nods against Sousuke’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry it happened like this. You first time, I mean.”

“No. Don’t be sorry. It was…Perfect.”

“Really? Because I can think of about 10 different ways which would have been better, Mako. I should have been more....”

“It was perfect because it was with you. Nothing else matters.” Makoto snuggles up closer to Sousuke, his body heating up so intensely at this confession that Sousuke feels like they’re both on fire.

“I love you Makoto.”

“I- I love you, too. Sousuke…”

They lose track of time as they start kissing again. Sousuke helps Makoto clean up in the shower before going back to his room. Very reluctantly.

He almost forgets the real reason he came to Makoto’s room.

When he hands over the hairclips, Makoto beams at him, blushing pink and hot all over again.

“I wish I’d gotten you something too.” He coos at Sousuke after giving him a very thorough thank you kiss.

“Well…You can give me something now.” Sousuke knows he might be pushing it, but he tries his luck anyway.

“What would that be?” Makoto cocks his eyebrows curiously.

“You underwear. From tonight. A keepsake of our first night.” Sousuke smirks again, quite devilishly, watching Makoto's blush deepen.

“It’s all dirty right now. I’ll wash it for you and give it to you tomorrow.”

“That would defeat the purpose, Mako.”

“You perverted old man!” Makoto gasps, a little shocked at this indecent request. But it’s not a refusal. Tentatively, he hands over the green underwear, with its cherry blossoms, covered in the sticky evidence of their lovemaking.

Sousuke takes it, grinning at Makoto.

They share a sweet, careful kiss before parting. 

As soon as he’s back in his room, Sousuke goes down on his knees and says a little prayer of gratitude to whichever deity made this night possible.

He has already won the first battle.

He has tamed his precious green-eyed brat.

Sousuke knows whatever comes next will be more difficult to navigate.

But for now, this victory is something he wants to savor. He wishes he could have stayed by Makoto’s side afterwards and slept together with him, but it’s best to be careful. Especially if he wants to keep Makoto.

Sousuke will fight for his cherry blossom boy with the sparkling green eyes.

Until the very end.

 


	17. Character Profiles: Pt. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for anyone keeping up with my insanity today, sorry about changing my mind about this fic repeatedly during the last few hours. I might take a bit longer to update it, but I do have the ending all planned out, so I will continue it. I'm not having a very good day, and am very indecisive about everything in life rn.  
> Anyway, to make up for that, here's an extra update containing Nagisa and Rei's character profiles.  
> Thanks to everyone still putting up with my nonsense.

** Nagisa Hazuki **

  *   **Favorite Color:** Yellow. No wait, pink? Is it pink? It’s both. Yeah, probably.  
  * **Favorite Animal:** Penguins! Especially those weird little alien-looking, rock-hopping ones.  He keeps trying to convince Rei to take him on a trip to the South pole to see them,
  * **Major:** Economics major with a minor in fine arts. Because of a certain someone who likes to emphasize the value of beauty and aesthetics in life, and who Nagisa wants very much to please. But he’s actually good at school when he puts in the effort.
  * **Family’s Expectations:** His older sister thinks he’s going to  overdose on chocolate and pass out in his bathtub at 25. His parents think he is capable of doing anything he sets his mind to, as long as he has the right motivation. They’re not too worried about him, in all honesty. His mother often meets up with Makoto’s mother, and the two talk about wedding plans for their sons. Nagisa has not told anyone about wanting to be Rei’s bride yet, but he has his own wedding plans (venue and menu all sorted out) in a neat little binder. Rei doesn’t know about it either.
  * **Actual Ambitions:** A travel agent. Like one of those super exclusive ones who only book trips for super rich clients to super exotic locales. And making Rei his husband of course. And adopting at least 3 children. No, Rei doesn’t know about any of this either.
  * **Ideal Partner:** Tall-ish.  Red glasses. Purplish hair. Nagisa has actually been completely in love with Rei since he was 12, and first met Rei at Makoto’s house. Rei was just out of high school then, working as Makoto’s dad’s secretary. But he usually just got assigned to babysitting Makoto and his friends.
  * **Preferred kissing style:** Eating chocolate right out of Rei’s mouth.
  * **Cuddling:** Yes. He and Makoto are both very cuddle-oriented. Rei gets all twitchy and nervous, but Nagisa acts as the big spoon, cooing into his ear and calming him down, arms wrapped firmly around Rei.
  * **Extras:** Introduced Makoto to Alpacassos and regretted the decision instantly. He and Makoto are both giant nerds, and unbeknownst to Gou and Kisumi, they go to a lot of conventions and cosplay as their favorite characters. He and Makoto also used to fight about who would get to be Rei’s bride when they were younger, but Makoto gave up after deciding that Rei was too dorky. His first kiss was with Rei when he was 16. He was eating some chocolate, and asked Rei if he wanted any, and when the unsuspecting Rei said yes, he’d like a taste, Nagisa attacked him full on, sticking his tongue into Rei’s mouth and then asking him if he liked the flavor. Rei almost passed out.



** Rei Ryugazaki: **

 

  * **Favorite Color:** Purple. Royal, magnificent deep purple. So beautiful.
  * **Favorite Animal:** Animals are filthy and should be kept away from civilized homes at all costs. Rei is the reason Makoto is not allowed to keep any pets. Butterflies are very nice though. They don’t carry diseases and they don’t shed fur everywhere, and their wings are so aesthetically pleasing to look at. But keep moths away from him. They are not beautiful.
  * **Major:** He didn’t go to university. After finishing high school, he took the first job that would have him, because his family had limited resources. But working at the Tachibana household, even with their dubious reputation, Rei was always treated kindly, and with the support of Makoto and Mrs. Tachibana, he completed a degree in mathematics with a minor in astrophysics at an online university when he was 24.
  * **Family’s Expectations:** His parents are already quite proud of him. He has told them about Nagisa, and explained how he will not be marrying. They were very understanding, and gave their blessing, even though they haven’t met their son’s boyfriend yet. In their minds, Nagisa is an angelic boy, very quiet and domestic, who will cook soup wearing cute aprons for Rei all day. Rei dreads the day he will introduce Nagisa to his parents, and sometimes has nightmares about it.
  * **Actual Ambitions:** He wants to marry Nagisa and continue his education when he has enough savings. He wants a PhD in mathematics and to teach at a university. He doesn’t want children, but he suspects that Nagisa does, and to be honest, he’d rather have children over pets any day. Anything but those freakish rockhopper penguins. He does not want to share his house with a menagerie of exotic animals. No thanks.
  * **Ideal Partner:** Nagisa. It has always been Nagisa.
  * **Preferred kissing style:** With Nagisa.
  * **Cuddling:** Being held by Nagisa.  
  * **Extras:** There isn’t much to say. He’s had an easy life, but he works his hardest to make sure everything in Makoto’s life is comfortable. He loves Makoto like a brother would, and cherishes his wild ways, protecting him from his father’s judgment. Rei is the reason none of Makoto’s tutors or bodyguards have stuck around for long. He knows about Makoto’s naïve tendencies to flirt, and is quick to get rid of suspicious people who might take advantage of the boy’s harmless cheekiness. But for some weird reason, he trusts Sousuke. Even after catching them both together. In bed. Excuse him for a second, he’s going to go bleach his eyeballs now.




	18. Makoto's Pervy Sex Fantasy

Makoto is tied up, completely restrained- arms and legs stretched out and bound to the bed frame.

His cock is twitching in anticipation. His hole is slick with oil- a floral concoction, with heady hints of spice- heavily scented.

The sheets underneath him are velvet and silk, caressing his nakes body luxuriously as he grinds his hips uncontrollably, waiting for the man who has left him like this.

His belly button is pierced with a simple gold barbell with a chain extending from it, draped all around Makoto’s waist. 

“Well, well. Getting started without me, are you?” The husky voice of his lover sounds like a gulp of Bordeaux wine going down the throat- intoxicating and rich. Sousuke is dressed in black silk, clearly not wearing any underwear. His throbbing cock is already staining the front of his pristine robe as he approaches Makoto, and sits next to him on the bed.

“N-No. I wouldn’t think of it, Sousuke.” Makoto feels his asshole clenching in anticipation of the erect cock facing him, as Sousuke moves closer, exposing his manhood.

“What did you call me, you slutty brat?” Sousuke licks his thumb before shoving it between Makoto’s lips, moving it around slowly, making the inside of Makoto’s mouth tingle and ache with subdued longing.

“M-master. Sorry. I- I forgot.” Makoto replies, breathing heavily, watching Sousuke lick the thumb he has just removed from Makoto’s mouth, slurping slightly.

“Good boy. Now then. What should we do with you today?”

“Do with me as you please, Master.”

Sousuke leans over Makoto's face, prying his mouth open for a hungry kiss. He takes it slow, probing the wet redness inside with his eager tongue, mingling his saliva with Makoto’s. When he draws away, a thin strand of colorless liquid connects them both.

A bit of it drips from Makoto’s mouth, tracing patterns down his chin, on his neck. Sousuke licks it all up, leaving the skin glistening and sticky.

“Ahhh, p-please…unnhhh….do it more….” Makoto pants heavily, fidgeting against his bonds.

“I’m going to untie you today, Makoto. But you must promise to be a good boy and do as I say.” Sousuke slowly starts unknotting the ropes holding back Makoto’s long, graceful limbs.

As Makoto rubs his wrists and ankles to relieve the rope burns, Sousuke shrugs off his robe and takes Makoto into his lap, resuming their sloppy kissing.

“I hope you’re ready for what’s next.” Sousuke draws back after a while, just as Makoto’s starting to feel lightheaded. His cock is already dripping precum, and he can see that Sousuke is just as turned on as he is.

“I-I am, Master. I’ll do anything you want.” Makoto starts gyrating his hardness against Sousuke’s, panting and grunting with pleasure at every thrust of the hips that brings their cocks together.

At first, Makoto doesn’t quite acknowledge the approaching footsteps. It’s only when a kiss is planted rather viciously in the crook of his neck that he jolts back into reality.

“Don’t stop on my account, Mako-chan.” As Sousuke grabs him by the hips, and starts grinding again, a second pair of strong (and rather familiar) hands reach for Makoto’s chest and start twisting his nipples.

Makoto is being manhandled by two Sousukes, trapped between their strong, hot bodies. Just the thought of it is enough to turn his mind to mush.

As the Sousuke behind him turns Makoto's face around a little, holding him by the chin so they can share a kiss, Makoto feels himself being removed from the first Sousuke’s lap and deposited back onto the bed.

“Let’s have some fun with him now.” The two Sousukes share a lewd grin with each other. Makoto feels his skin crackle with a sudden burst of electric desire as he is laid out flat on the bed on his back, his arms pulled back and his legs thrust apart.

“Didn’t think of waiting for me, did you, you perverts?” A third voice joins the first two, and Makoto feels like a small animal caught in a trap. The Sousuke that walks towards him is fully dressed, wearing an impeccable suit, hair slicked back in place, his face neither sneering nor smiling.

“You’re here now, so let’s get started.” The other two are already busying their tongues with Makoto’s mouth and asshole, messing him up thoroughly.

Makoto moans out loud, almost blanking out at being eaten out and kissed at the same time. 

“You’re so noisy, Makoto.” The alpha Sousuke (the one in the suit, of course), sits next to Makoto and removes something green and pink from his pocket.

It’s Makoto’s underwear, with cherry blossoms printed all over it.

“Mmmmm. Smells so good.” Holding it against his nose and taking a deep whiff, alpha Sousuke finally smiles, looking down at Makoto a little disdainfully.

Sticking a few fingers into Makoto’s mouth, forcing his tongue out, alpha Sousuke sucks on it, as if he’s tasting a particularly ripe piece of fruit.

While his mouth is being devoured in this manner, the tongue probes deep inside Makoto's entrance, and makes him cum all over himself, covering his stomach and chest in sticky, white strands.

“Tastes good too.” The first Sousuke lifts his head up from between Makoto’s thighs, licking his lips with a loud smacking sound.

Makoto moans uncontrollably, lifting his hips, arching his back like an animal in heat, wanting desperately for the pleasure to go on endlessly.

He wants to be fucked. Over and over again. By all three of them at once. This wolf pack of teal-eyed sex gods.

 

Barely recovered from his orgasm, Makoto gasps in surprise as his own underwear is shoved into his mouth.

“There. He looks even prettier like this, doesn’t he?”

“Mmhmmm. Shall we get started then?” The second Sousuke- the one enthusiastically playing with Makoto’s swollen, pinkish nipples- removes his mouth from Makoto’s chest with a wet, popping sound.

Makoto writhes on the bed, restrained by two of them, as the alpha Sousuke starts licking his face all over.

“Mmphhh…Unnhhhmppphhh….” Makoto feels like he will choke on his refreshed desire. He begs alpha Sousuke wordlessly, begs him for a good, hard fucking with teary green eyes.

“Our little brat's getting impatient boys.” Alpha Sousuke’s face shows the slightest hint of lust, his heavy-lidded eyes taking in every detail of Makoto’s messed-up body.

Makoto’s nipples are twice their usual size if not more, from being sucked on relentlessly. His stomach is covered with his own cum and there are sticky traces of spit everywhere.

The chain around his waist moves enticingly with every spasm of his writhing body.

“Right then. Let’s see what that mouth can do.” With a little teasing tug at the chain, alpha Sousuke orders Makoto on his hands and knees, still on the bed. Unzipping his pants, he lets his big, hard cock out. Taking his manhood in his right hand, alpha Sousuke slaps its slick length against Makoto’s flushed cheeks.

The slit of Makoto’s cock starts dripping again as he becomes fully erect.

“Looks like you’re all ready to go again. Such a pretty slut you are.”

It doesn’t matter which one of them is talking anymore. Or whose finger is probing his slippery asshole, making the muscles spasm, making the bottom of his stomach flutter with unspeakable need. Or whose tongue is toying with the gold barbell in his navel.

The cherry blossom underwear, drenched in the scent of his and Sousuke’s cum, is suddenly tugged out of his mouth.

“Ahhh…Annnhhhh….” Makoto’s lips run over with saliva, and his vision becomes crowded with a constellation of white, sparkling stars. A hand grips his hair and Makoto’s mouth is stuffed with alpha Sousuke’s cock. Slobbering enthusiastically, Makoto takes it in, all at once, to the back of his throat, almost choking on it.

His asshole is stuffed with 3 fingers and his cock is being played with, along with the momentary tugs on his belly chain.

Makoto is a servant to this overwhelming pleasure.

With a grunt, just as it's on the verge of bursting in his mouth, the cock is taken out. The fingers are removed from his anus, and his cock is abandoned. Makoto collapses on the bed, desperately wanting more.

“It’s not over yet, my pretty little slut. Get up and get on top of him.” Alpha Sousuke orders the second Sousuke onto the bed, on his back, and Makoto is shoved on top of him.

“Raise your hips.” Makoto obediently raises his ass upwards. Alpha Sousuke plunges inside without any prior notice, and Makoto screams at the sudden onset of agonizing pleasure. His cock is positioned against the man underneath him, and a fist grips them both, rubbing them together.

“Don’t leave me out.” The first Sousuke sits in front of Makoto, the second Sousuke's head between his legs, and sticks his hardness inside Makoto’s mouth.

Wet, squelching, sucking sounds fill the room. The air is thick with the odor of cum and musk and scented oil. Makoto feels like he will lose his entire being the second he reaches orgasm again.

His lips wrapped around Sousuke’s cock, his hardness rubbing against Sousuke’s cock, his asshole stuffed full of Sousuke’s cock.

A perfect fantasy.

Makoto cannot ask for anything else.

 

As he cums, Makoto shouts Sousuke’s name.

His mind begins to clear as he removes the dildo from his entrance, feeling the sticky wetness on his stomach and inner thighs. He takes his fingers out of his mouth, on which he’s been sucking eagerly since he started.

It’s only been a day since their first time going all the way. Sousuke says they have to be careful, so they haven't done it again.

But then what was the meaning of pushing Makoto up against a wall and kissing him like that? And in public too. And then not doing anything about it afterwards.

The exasperation at his bodyguard somehow only makes Makoto hotter for him.

He gets up gingerly, peeling his sweaty body away from the sheets, blushing at the lurid fantasy of getting fucked by three Sousukes at once.

He considers telling Sousuke about it as he climbs into the shower, sighing at the feel of hot water against his skin.

That’ll make the man even more unbearably smug, though. If he knows how desperate Makoto is for his cock.

Makoto chides himself again at the way things happened between them, at the way he lifted himself off his dildo and onto Sousuke’s cock.

That was definitely not the way his first time was supposed to go. Definitely not at all.

Makoto had merely given in to the moment of uninhibited desire, after Sousuke surprised him in that state.

 

But the bridge has already gone up in flames, and there is no point regretting it now.

Whether it’s love or something else, they’re both in too deep now.

There’s no more time to second-guess his heart, and no turning back anymore.

Makoto decides to be in love with the man he has already given himself to.

No matter what the consequences will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I felt like writing some awful smut instead of the paper that's due on Monday.


	19. A Night at the Club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of light smut as my SouMako contribution on Valentine's day. (The chapter does not take place on Valentine's though.)

“Come on, Makoto! Don’t be a killjoy.” Kou pulls at a strand of the brunet’s hair, tweaking it gently.

“But I…” Makoto really doesn’t have a good reason to say no to his friends. He doesn’t even fully understand why he is so averse to this. He and Kisumi have been sneaking into clubs since they were 16, driving their respective caretakers up the wall with their antics.

“Come on, Mako. Don’t you wanna show off that new piercing? You can wear that crop top you bought last weekend.” Kisumi cups Makoto’s face and leans in, faux-seductively.

“Ugh, get off Kisumi. You win. I'll go. ” Makoto shrugs off his best friend and sighs in defeat. The only way to get out of this is to tell Kisumi and Kou that after tortuously remaining away from Sousuke for two weeks, waiting for his navel piercing to heal, Makoto was planning to be fucked into a mindless state of ecstasy by his bodyguard tonight.

There’s always tomorrow night though.

But he knows Sousuke is not happy about the renewed alienation between them. On more than one occasion, the older man has attempted to initiate something, pushing Makoto up against the car after bringing him home from college just a couple of nights ago, a little frustrated, and definitely hard. 

But Makoto wanted to do it properly, wanting to dress up in nothing but a ribbon around his hips and the barbell in his navel (twinkling turquoise and glittering green), and wait in Sousuke’s bed. He starts to get agitated at the thought of what they’ll do together. He wants the clock to spin ahead, so he can get right to it.

“Nagisa not coming?” Kou looks around for their absent friend, waiting for him to appear magically in their midst.

“He isn’t in town.” Makoto goes a little red, having to lie for the blond. Rei and Nagisa have one of their anniversaries this weekend, and are spending it at an onsen in Hokkaido.

“It’s really amusing how Nagisa and Rei-san decided to leave town on the same weekend.” Kisumi smirks knowingly at Makoto.

“Plus your ears turn red when you lie, Mako.” Kou rolls her eyes at how bad her friend is at keeping secrets.

 

And so on Saturday night, Makoto finds himself in front of the bathroom mirror, getting ready to go out. After adding the final touch of applying his favorite pale pink lipgloss, Makoto nods appreciatively at his reflection. He isn’t exactly a narcissist, but he does know how good-looking he is, and how his innocent face radiates eroticism the second he pouts his lips a certain way.

Looking at the way his denim shorts hug his ass, sitting a little too low around his slim hips, how his pale green crop top is tied into a knot just above his navel where the green and blue piercing sparkles naughtily- Makoto blushes uncontrollably.

A few months ago, before Sousuke, Makoto would be squirming in the jade green lace panties he has on underneath his shorts, anxious to get out of the house and spend the night dancing and drinking. But now he wants to be locked up in his bedroom with Sousuke, letting the older man mess him up in any way he pleases. The panties are for after, for when they come back from the club to an empty apartment, slight dazed with drink. Makoto knows Sousuke will appreciate them. He can save the ribbon around his waist for Christmas or something. 

As he walks into the lounge area, Sousuke is watching some documentary on the TV, wrapped up in boredom.

“Ready?” He groans without turning around, lifting himself up off the couch.

“Mmmm I was thinking…We don’t have to go, you know. I’ll call Kisumi and say I’m down with a cold or something.” Makoto fidgets where he stands, simultaneously excited and worried about the reaction his outfit will provoke from Sousuke.

“ _We_ don’t have to do anything. _You_ do.” Sousuke grunts a little unpleasantly, stretching his arms above his head to loosen up.

And then he turns around and their eyes meet and Makoto gets all lightheaded and red in the face. Sousuke is walking towards him, pushing him against a wall, teal eyes focused on the gems adorning Makoto’s navel, his fingers toying with it, getting a little aggressive, tugging at it, eliciting a low moan as he pushes a knee between Makoto’s thighs- it all sends Makoto into a spiral of frenzied desire.

It’s a good thing Sousuke still has his wits about him, and untangles himself from Makoto just as Kisumi storms in without knocking, shouting his best friend’s name.

Makoto’s face is still flushed as he tries to breathe normally again, to calm down his racing heart. The blood speeding hotly to his crotch stops short as he hears Haru’s low voice underscoring Kisumi’s shouting.

He quickly slaps a smile on his face and follows Sousuke to greet his guests.

“Oh good, you’re coming then. I was afraid you were trying to excuse yourself, so I came here myself to drag your ass out. Speaking of, aren’t those shorts a bit too racy? Don’t you think so, Haru-san?” Kisumi scans Makoto’s face closely as he speaks, making note of the way his chest is gently heaving, and the way Sousuke is look up at the ceiling, hands in pockets. It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together.

“I-uh- it looks…You look nice Makoto.” Haru’s voice is like a caress- a bit odd and strained. For a second Makoto gapes at his beloved Haru-san, unable to read his face properly.

“And what about you Sou-san? You think it’s okay for him to parade his midriff around in public like that?” Kisumi’s mock anger turns into something slightly vicious, and he crosses his arms, staring Sousuke down.

The atmosphere in the room flickers with the electricity of too many emotions tangling up with each other, messy and conflicting.

“I’m his employee, not his dad. It’s not up to me how he dresses when he goes out. By the way, you’re one to talk.” Sousuke’s face is passive as he snorts derisively at Kisumi.

He has a point though. Kisumi is wearing a tight pink see-through shirt, and jeans that cling so closely to him that no detail of his crotch is left to the imagination. Surprisingly though, the usually gaudy jewelry he’s so fond of is absent, except for a thin gold chain around his neck and his ruby ear studs.

“If we’re gonna go, let’s go.” Makoto strides huffily past Sousuke, taking Haru’s arm.

_If you don’t care how I dress when I go outside, that’s fine. I’ll show you what else I’m capable of tonight._

The drive to the club is quiet and uncomfortable. Kisumi has insisted on sitting between Makoto and Haru, and Sousuke is making a point of avoiding eye-contact with Makoto.

Once inside, Sousuke and Haru take a couple of seats at the bar with Seijuro, ordering drinks and sulking.

Kou and the boys end up on the dance floor right away, attracting the crowd’s eyes with their flashy brand of seductive beauty.

It’s not long before other people begin to surround them, attracted by their light, like moths around a burning flame.

“Right, time to assert my boyfriendship”. Seijuro downs his whiskey in a single gulp, and walks over to Kou, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close.

 

 

Sousuke shifts around in his seat, clearing his throat in an attempt to draw Haru’s attention, to start a mundane conversation about the weather or something. He cannot drink any alcohol, for obvious reasons, and his orange juice is too sour to taste good. 

Anything to get his mind off the way Makoto’s body is undulating on the dance floor.

It comes as a surprise to see that Haru’s gaze is fixed on the same spot, following the movements of Makoto’s hips.

Before Sousuke can compute the information his eyes have just documented, Makoto and Kisumi make their way to the bar to order drinks. Makoto’s body is glistening with sweat as he leans a little too close to Sousuke, letting their bodies touch casually. He smells like himself with an underlying hint of cherry blossoms. Sousuke has a sudden urge to lay him down across the bar and lick his body all over. 

“Haru-san, come dance with us.” Though his words are addressed to his friend, Makoto glances over at Sousuke to let him know who the invitation is really meant for.

And he wants to. Oh boy, does Sousuke want to just grab Makoto by his exposed waist and crush their bodies together, swaying to the pulsating rhythm of the music. To maybe find a dark corner where he slip his tongue inside Makoto’s waiting mouth. To drag him back to the parking lot and fuck him on the backseat of the car.

But it’s unfair of Makoto to tempt him like this when he knows the rules.

Makoto is the spoiled young master, and Sousuke is his loyal servant.

And a loyal servant does not grind up on his willful young master on the dance floor in front of his friends. Especially not in front of a cold, blue-eyed friend who might very well be in love with the green-eyed young master.

Sousuke is so busy lamenting his situation that he misses the argument taking place right beside him.

“Kisumi, stop it! I already said no.”  Haru's glass of sparkling water is splashed all over Kisumi’s face, making his already see-through top cling to his chest.

For a second, Sousuke thinks Kisumi will cry.

But he just grabs Makoto by the wrist and they both return to the dance floor.

As Sousuke’s mind tries to grapple with the twisted relationships tying up Makoto and his friends to each other, trying to understand where he fits in, his eyes draw his brain's attention back to the dance floor.

Kisumi and Makoto are dancing- no, not dancing- _grinding_ together, quite inappropriately. Kisumi’s hands are on Makoto’s hips, and in sync with the flashing lights and the throbbing beat of the music, the pink-haired boy brings both their bodies together. From a distance it looks like their crotches are glued together- that is how closely their movements reflect each other.

Makoto’s arms are thrown around Kisumi’s neck, and he is clearly enjoying himself, as he begins to imitate Kisumi’s thrusting movements. A few people even back away to give them room, whistling and shouting suggestions to go further.

Sousuke finds himself more aroused than jealous, especially as he catches Makoto’s subtle turn of the head, and their eyes find each other. He already knows Makoto and Kisumi have a past, and to be honest, he’s had a few thoughts about the two of them writhing in bed together while jerking off.

As long as it’s like this, where he can look at them, he’s quite okay with this display.

He orders a virgin strawberry daiquiri and leans back against the bar, focusing on the two boys sliding their lithe bodies against each other. Even from this distance, Sousuke can make out Makoto’s flushed face. A few minutes more and he can drag Makoto home, and strip him and tease him and spank him for acting like such a bad boy.

More and more people gather around Makoto and Kisumi, enjoying the spectacle. Then a girl's voice shouts “Kiss him already!” and Kisumi brings them even closer together, and their pink tongues dart out of their mouths, the tips touching lightly against each other as if they’re joining in the dance of the two bodies.

Sousuke feels himself getting uncomfortably hard. The heat searing his chest with jealousy and the desire building up in the lower half of of his body battle against each other.

He is so absorbed in watching Makoto’s ass being fondled by Kisumi, as their tongues continue teasing each other, that he doesn’t see Haru leave.

And then Kou jumps on Makoto, Kisumi pulls away, and the three of them are laughing as the crowd cheers.

Through the noise and the dimming light, Sousuke feels light-headed, even though he hasn’t consumed any alcohol. When Makoto returns to his side, his lips wet and his body slick with sweat, he loses all control and pulls the brunet close.

“Not here, Sou-san.” Makoto purrs in his embrace, and pulls him off the barstool. In the slightly chilly night air outside, in the unpopulated parking lot, under the starless sky of Tokyo, Sousuke throws Makoto a little roughly against the car and kisses him furiously, trembling fingers struggling with the zipper of his denim shorts.

“Are you jealous, Sousuke?” Makoto whispers as they break their sloppy kiss.

“Nope. Just really horny.” Sousuke grunts as he starts grinding his bulge against Makoto’s.

“Fuck me on the backseat Sousuke. Please.” Makoto moans into Sousuke’s ear.

“As you wish, young master Tachibana.” Sousuke’s grins slyly, pulling Makoto away before opening the door.

They both topple inside, Sousuke on top of Makoto, onto the spacious backseat of the car.

It’s really the best early birthday present Sousuke could have asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The backseat sex will probably be in the next chapter.


	20. A Night with Makoto's Lace Panties

Trying to take off Makoto’s shorts, while moving on top of him in the backseat of the car, isn’t exactly easy. They’re both quite tall, and though the seat is spacious, it clearly isn’t the best place for them to have sex.

Sousuke tries to get up so he can pull Makoto onto his lap, but he bumps his head on the car’s ceiling, and swears loudly as Makoto starts giggling a bit drunkenly.

“Oh this is funny to you, is it?” Sousuke rubs his head angrily. The blood coursing to his crotch isn’t letting him think straight. He thinks about Makoto and Kisumi on the dance floor, the way their hips were joined together, the way Makoto kissed Kisumi.

What turned him on in the haze and noise of the club is making him mad with jealousy now. Makoto, swept up in a mixture of alcohol and lust, is still quite hard. He is squirming around on the backseat, trying to pull his shorts off.

And that’s when Sousuke sees the panties. The soft, see-through lace, its green color shimmering slightly under the light. There is a wet patch in the front, soaked with Makoto’s precum. His hard-on is threatening to rip right through the delicate lace fabric.

A sudden, sly thought crosses Sousuke’s mind and he grins lasciviously.

“Unnhh…Help me get these off. I’m so horny, Sou-san.” Makoto’s scrunched up face is pink and sweaty, his eyes tearing up a little, plump lips parted and wet.

Though there is a bulge forming in Sousuke’s pants, his desire is much more controlled that the brunet’s. He decides to have a little fun with Makoto, to get revenge for the show Makoto put on at the club with his best friend.

“And whose fault is that, Mako-chan?” Sousuke leans over Makoto, and whispers gruffly in the boy’s ear, making sure to bite the lobe softly before withdrawing.

Makoto moans like a cat in heat, reaching out for Sousuke, wanting him to continue.

But Sousuke has other plans.

He takes off his navy tie carefully, given that he has to wear his stiff uniform suit wherever he goes, even to the club. Forcing Makoto to sit up in the seat, he uses it to tie the boy's hands together before he knows what’s happening.

“Sou-san, what are you…” But Sousuke seals Makoto’s mouth by shoving his tongue inside it.

“This is your punishment, Mako-chan. For making me jealous. I’m not gonna touch you until we get home. You’ll have to endure it all on your own.” Sousuke licks the side of Makoto’s neck, making the brunet shudder uncontrollably.

“B-but…You’re hard too. Untie my hands and I’ll suck you off. P-please.” Makoto’s eyes widen in horror at the prospect of having no access to his hard cock for the next 20 minutes or so.

Sousuke smirks wider and pulls Makoto’s shorts off with a little bit of struggle, given the constrained space they’re both hemmed in. The green panties are fully exposed, and along with the navel piercing and Makoto’s knotted up crop top, they make for an irresistibly erotic image. It takes all of Sousuke’s willpower to stop himself.

Palming the length of Makoto’s hardness through the wet lace, Sousuke traces the outline of Makoto’s parted, slick lips with his tongue, and Makoto almost goes limp in his arms.

“If you cum now, I’ll have to punish you harder, Mako-chan.” Sousuke secures Makoto with the seatbelt, and leaves the car. Outside, he lights a cigarette, and smokes it carefully, planning out the night.

He has never felt this kind of rush before. Somewhere at the back of his mind, the familiar alarm sounds off again.

Is this what love is supposed to be like? Or is he going too far? 

Putting out the cigarette, waving off his doubts, Sousuke takes his place behind the steering wheel, and drives back home.

He holds the car door open for Makoto, gesturing for him to come out.

“I-I can’t. Not like this. What if someone sees me?” Makoto is blushing, his eyes a little teary. He’s been squirming around in the backseat, and Sousuke can see that the panties are pretty much soaked through.

“Looks like you enjoyed being tied up, Makoto.” Sousuke grabs the brunet roughly and pulls him out of the car. He takes off the jacket of his suit and drapes it around Makoto, leaving his hands tied, and the denim shorts still discarded in the backseat.

Makoto quietly follows behind Sousuke, trying uselessly to cover himself up.

In the elevator up to the apartment, they’re alone. Sousuke takes advantage and indulges in another sloppy kiss, leaving strands of saliva dripping down Makoto’s chin.

Makoto’s so weak in the knees by the end of the kiss that he almost collapses. Sousuke has to lift him up in his arms and carry him inside. He places Makoto on the couch carefully, and removes his jacket from the mess of a boy sighing uncontrollably with pent up desire.

He turns on the light to enjoy the view properly, knowing that he is all alone with Makoto.

“P-please…Sou-san…I…” Makoto is begging to be fucked, his hips moving of their own accord on the couch, the head of his cock peeking out of the panties.

Sousuke laughs quietly to himself as he sits down beside Makoto, and starts playing with the navel piercing.

“Was this to tempt me?” Soususke leans over, and takes the barbell between his teeth, tugging on it gently. Makoto arches his back and cries out with pleasure. 

"Unnnh...Sou-...please, please fuck me...." 

Sousuke lifts the crop top up, and pushes his tied hands above his head.  Makoto’s chest is exposed and his dripping hardness is struggling against the delicate lace of his underwear. 

Sousuke makes himself comfortable between Makoto’s legs, and takes the head of his cock lightly between his teeth. Makoto thrills at this contact, moaning louder than before. Sousuke starts licking the length of Makoto’s cock still trapped inside the panties, feeling the wet fabric with his tongue, tasting Makoto, getting drunk on the taste. He returns to sucking on the exposed tip, sliding his tongue along the slit, teasing with everything he's got. 

Sousuke's own desire soon begins to cloud his senses. He climbs on top of Makoto, and starts moving rhythmically against Makoto’s hardness, kissing the green-eyed boy deeply. A minute later, Makoto cums inside his panties, choking out Sousuke’s name. Sousuke sits up, straddling Makoto’s hips, unzips his pants, and pumps his own cock until he orgasms, cumming all over Makoto’s chest and stomach.

He slumps on top of Makoto, breathing in his sweat and perfume and the sweetness of alcohol on his breath. It’s fulfilling and devastating, it’s ethereal and abyssal- being with this beautiful boy. So many contradictions, and such intense pleasure.

“Sou-san, I need to…I need to use the…” Makoto’s voice is weak, relieved but still a bit uneasy.

Sousuke comes off his temporary high, and removes his weight from the brunet's body. Makoto is still on his back on the couch, his panties sticky and messed up, pushed down around his upper thighs, glistening wet with both their juices.

“Right, okay. Are you…I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Sousuke nervously unties Makoto’s hands. He keeps forgetting the relationship between them, he keeps pushing its limits. And he has no idea why.

But then Makoto smiles at him, rubbing his wrists, and comes closer to Sousuke, kissing him sweetly on the cheek.  This boy makes all reason take its leave from Sousuke’s head, leaves him reeling from his lack of restraint. Makoto gets up off the couch gingerly, pulling up his dirty panties. It makes Sousuke want to start the night all over again. 

Sousuke discards his own clothes and follows Makoto. Fantasies of helping him into the bath tub and continuing their forbidden tryst take shape in his head, and he hums fearlessly to himself.

When he opens the door to Makoto’s washroom, a very different picture presents itself to his eyes.  The brunet is slumped up over the toilet- panties tangled around his ankles, crop top hanging loosely over his torso- throwing up quite violently.

Sousuke clucks his tongue before rushing over and helping Makoto push back his hair, getting his disheveled bangs out of harm’s way. He sits down on the cold floor next to Makoto, one arm comfortingly wrapped around the brunet’s waist, combing back his sweaty hair. After it looks like Makoto has vomited everything out, Sousuke lifts him up, pushes down the toilet seat, and sits Makoto on top it.

He rolls up his sleeve and fills up the bathtub with hot water, and some calming bath salts. Lightly scented so as not to make Makoto’s condition worse. Then Sousuke wets a small towel, and cleans up Makoto’s face with it, before helping the boy out of his clothes.

Makoto smiles weakly as he balances himself against Sousuke, too out of it to stand up on his own.

“You’ll probably drown in the bath by yourself, won’t you?” Sousuke kisses the brunet’s heated, sweaty forehead lightly.

“Mhm. Probably. So you should join me, Sou-san. After all, it’s your job to protect me, isn’t it?” Makoto blushes as he speaks, sending an unexpected shock of guilt through Sousuke.

_It is my job to protect him. And what am I doing? Taking advantage of him when he’s drunk and horny, tying him up and…What is wrong with me?_

But all self-reproach is lost when Makoto starts unbuttoning Sousuke’s shirt with clumsy fingers. Before long they’re both in the tub, with Makoto dozing against Sousuke’s chest.

Of course the boy falls asleep, so Sousuke has to lift him up once again, wipe him down, and put him to bed. It’s not until he rather foolishly slips into bed next to Makoto, both of them naked and a bit damp from their bath, that Sousuke realizes the pain in his arm.

It has a tendency to flash back up once in a while, when he overexerts himself. Lifting up a man about as tall himself was probably a bit much for Sousuke to handle. But he ignores the faint throbbing in his shoulder as he cozies up to Makoto and closes his eyes, inhaling the scent of skin musk and cherry blossoms (mixed with a little lavender now, thanks to the bath salts) that he is so familiar with.

Once again, he thinks about the relationship between them. 

He's been calling it love, but he isn't quite sure about that anymore. 

This is probably not a sustainable relationship, given their vastly different circumstances. There will probably be doubts and regrets waiting for Sousuke around the corner. Makoto will probably get bored and find a refined, sophisticated, rich man to fulfill his desires soon enough. And Sousuke will continue not telling anyone about his birthdays, sinking deeper and deeper into a self-cultivated loneliness he’s grown disturbingly comfortable with over the last couple of years.

This little fling with a beautiful boy- this is the last present Sousuke is going to give himself before retreating from a sociable life, buying that cottage by the ocean, and smoking the years. 

It probably isn’t love anyway. How could it be? It’s just a weakness, isn’t it?

And Sousuke has always pretended to be a bit too strong for his own good.

 


	21. A Night of Doubt and Desire

It’s been a few weeks since the night spent clubbing, and being intimate with Sousuke. The older man has been distant and detached after the night they spent together, most of which Makoto can’t really remember.

All he knows is they did something that resulted in messing up his lace panties. He’d woken up in bed alone, though the messed up sheets were a clear indication that someone had slept next to him.

After that night, Makoto’s flirtations were met with Sousuke’s grim-faced stoicism.

Their interactions are dry and lack intimacy now. You couldn’t tell they were lovers at all. Just a grumpy bodyguard and a spoiled young master. Quite professional.

Just like it should be.

Sousuke’s probably had his fun. He’s probably worried about keeping his job. He’s probably thinking Makoto’s habit of flirting with everyone he comes across is a major turn-off. That Makoto can’t take anyone seriously. Isn’t that so?

And besides, what kind of future can they have together anyway? It’s not like Sousuke’s going to get down on one knee and propose one day, and buy a house with Makoto somewhere in a quiet town away from the noisy city, and adopt 2 boys and a girl and a pet cat all fluffy and ginger and a golden retriever and spend their weekends on a giant couch, their legs all tangled up comfortably, doing nothing at all…

Always these daydreams. Nothing ever comes of them.

It’s not like Makoto can show his real self to Sousuke. It’s not like Sousuke would care. He’s not interested in the insecure and attention-starved mess Makoto really is. He’s attracted to the flashy smiles and provocative underwear. That’s all there is to it. That’s all there can ever be.

Makoto’s had to fight off aggressive senpais and creepy _friends_ of his father’s since he was 16. It was the reason Seijuro had insisted on hiring a bodyguard for Makoto, despite his father’s lack of concern. And then Haru had caught that same bodyguard trying to pin Makoto down in the bedroom, after picking him up from school, thinking no one was else was home.

After that Rei had been assigned to Makoto’s care by his mother, who had almost gone into hysterics after realizing what kind of danger her son had been in. Makoto’s movements were completely restricted, and he wasn’t allowed to be alone with anyone but his closest friends. And so, naturally, Kisumi and Makoto explored each other’s bodies instead of the streets of Tokyo during their long, boring summers together.

In his closed-up little life, hiding his true self away from his family, starving for a certain kind of attention that was always denied him, Makoto turned into someone he never intended to become. He had caring friends, and an understanding mother, and he was thankful for all of them. But that didn’t change the fact that he felt trapped inside his own head all the time.

Growing up, Makoto never thought he’d become the kind of person who would parade around in lace panties, seducing his hot dork of a bodyguard, pouting to get his way. He’d been slightly shy, kind-hearted, and rarely put himself forward in any situation. There was nothing really remarkable about him. He was tall and skinny, with no muscle to speak of.  He walked with his shoulders slumped, and let his hair grow all over his face to hide himself from the world and his father’s disappointment at being cursed with a timid, useless boy.

13 year old Makoto wore square-shaped glasses with heavy black frames, a legacy from his beloved grandfather (his mother’s father, who doted on Makoto). He tied back his bangs with green scrunchies and wore oversized sweatshirts all the time.

He wasn’t very clever either, so he couldn’t hide behind a book like the other introverts in his class.  Half his classmates were too scared to go near the ‘yakuza boy’ while the rest took pleasure in bullying him. Makoto realized they just wanted to know how far they could push him before he broke down and cried in front of them. So he never let them win. He smiled through everything. Made himself act like he didn’t care, so he could feel stronger than he really was.

Sure, Seijuro doted on him and Haru spoiled him rotten. But they were like his older brothers. They weren’t friends. Not really. Until Kisumi, Nagisa and Kou decided to adopt him into their little elite group at school, Makoto was heartbreakingly lonely.

Though he was painfully aware of it, Makoto took to imitating Kisumi’s style as they grew older. He dressed flashy, took off his glasses, got contacts, and started swimming regularly to turn his lanky frame into the enviable physique of a young Adonis. Kisumi noticed, and instead of being spiteful, helped Makoto’s transformation. They became each other’s best friends and confidants, with a lot of benefits.

Kisumi dated both girls and boys. And Makoto had his little flings. But they never got jealous over each other, and always ended up in bed together after their breakups and heartaches.

But now Kisumi has someone, though he won’t say a word about who that person is. A week ago, frustrated at Sousuke’s lack of interest, Makoto invited Kisumi to his bed, just like old times, to relieve a bit of tension. But for the first time ever, his best friend had refused. It hurt Makoto more than he liked to admit.

It’s fine if Sousuke doesn’t want him anymore. It’s fine that Kisumi has fallen in love with someone and doesn’t really need Makoto anymore. That Nagisa and Kou have their own lives and boyfriends to occupy their time. That his parents have two perfect, problem-free children to raise, and don’t force him to visit every weekend like they used to.

His bed feels cold all of a sudden. So cold it freezes him all the way to his core. He feels like he will cry. He wants to be held close, and told he is loved, he is wanted, he is needed.

If Sousuke won’t come to him, then Makoto’ll have to go to him.

Makoto strides into his bodyguard’s bedroom wearing a snug dark green t-shirt and loose grey sweatpants. Sousuke, startled by his sudden appearance, almost drops his oolong tea all over himself.

“Makoto…You shouldn’t be here.”

“Have I done something wrong, Sou-san?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve been ignoring me since that night. You won’t even look at me anymore. Are you bored with me? If you are, then I’d prefer if you told me instead of just pretending I don’t exist anymore.”

Despite his best efforts, Makoto can hear his voice breaking, his eyes stinging with tears.

Sousuke puts away his tea quietly and walks up to Makoto. He takes the boy’s face in both hands, and caresses the smooth skin.

Makoto clutches onto Sousuke’s robe desperately, feeling like a silly little child throwing an unnecessary tantrum.

 

Then he feels the distance between them vanish, and gets pulled into the warmth of Sousuke’s body. Makoto feels the intrusive warmth of Sousuke’s tongue inside his mouth, and his head goes all fuzzy. He responds to the kiss, drawing Sousuke in.

Sousuke possessively slips an arm around Makoto’s waist, and starts playing with the drawstring of Makoto’s sweatpants. Makoto feels himself being turned around and pushed onto the bed. Sousuke discards his robe and takes off his boxers, revealing his budding hardness.

The older man climbs into bed and on top of Makoto. A hand is thrust under the fabric of Makoto’s shirt, and before Makoto can stop Sousuke’s wandering fingers, he finds himself moaning from the pleasure of having his left nipple pinched.

“Sou-san…We don’t have to…I was being stupid. I just…” Makoto tries to struggle out of Sousuke’s firm grip and fails.

Sousuke only responds with sealing Makoto’s protesting mouth with a kiss, and continues to play with Makoto’s chest, using both hands to push up his t-shirt, exposing everything.

When Sousuke breaks the kiss, Makoto finds himself moaning loudly. A wet patch stains the front of his sweatpants.

“Do you like this Makoto?” Sousuke lets one hand slide across Makoto’s chest, down to his navel, and starts tugging lightly at the barbell in his navel.

“Ahh…aahnnhhh…Sou-…sanhhhh…”

 “The way you act, it just makes me wanna mess you up, Mako-chan.” Sousuke pulls Makoto’s head back, tugging on his hair, and thrusts a couple of fingers inside Makoto’s mouth. Until Makoto is choking on them, strands of saliva running down his chin. Sousuke forces his tongue between Makoto’s lips again, and slurps up the inside of his mouth as if it contains a particular delicious smoothie. 

Then he grabs Makoto by the waist and pulls him off the bed. Makoto lets himself be handled roughly, and finds himself on the floor, with Sousuke’s throbbing cock in front of him.

“Take it in your mouth Makoto.”

Makoto crawls closer to Sousuke on all fours and sits on his knees between the older man’s legs. He takes Sousuke’s cock in both hands, delicately, tracing its length, feeling its wetness. The tip of his tongue probes the slit of his bodyguard’s manhood, licking the precum slowly, taking his time.

He’ll drive Sousuke crazy with the pleasure of their fucking. Make him addicted to it. So no one else will ever be as good as Makoto, and no one’s tongue will ever feel so good as Makoto’s. So Sousuke will always come back to Makoto.

He places lingering kisses on the insides of Sousuke’s thighs, using his hands to get him off. Sousuke grunts with pleasure, one hand gripping Makoto’s hair so hard it hurts.

“That’s enough.” Sousuke grabs him by the wrists and pulls him up, into his lap. One finger traces the column of Makoto’s spine, carefully, sending little sparks of electricity everywhere, making his skin tingle.

His bodyguard’s sturdy, firm hands push down his sweatpants, letting his hardness out, cupping his ass, slapping both cheeks, making his cock leak with precum, making him moan and pant like a wild animal in heat.

Then there’s a finger inside him, making squelching sounds as it moves in out. Then there’s two, and then three.

“Please…I want your…Let me…” Makoto raises his hips, lifting himself up. He takes Sousuke’s cock in one hand, his fist pumping its length, getting it wet and slippery all over. He lowers himself onto it, letting out lewd sighs and throaty murmurs, until he’s taken Sousuke’s entire length inside himself.

He starts moving slowly at first, letting Sousuke’s tongue and teeth play with his nipples. They’re all swollen and pink again, thanks to the older man’s attention.

"Ahhh, Makoto. You're so tight. Ngghhhh. You'll make me melt inside you." Sousuke grabs his hips and helps him move up and down, slamming Makoto onto his cock again and again.

Intense pleasure unravels in every cell of Makoto’s body, making fireworks go off in his brain. A bright light fills his head, makes him feel like he’s drunk on the pleasure of an ethereal wine, and he’ll never be able to get away. 

Makoto's the one who's addicted to this. He's the one who's lost himself. Not Sousuke. 

_I love you, Sousuke. I love you._

His heart, his mind, his body- they’ve already betrayed him. But he’ll bite his tongue before it can give him away.

After they’re done- lying back on Sousuke’s bed side by side, Makoto’s messed up clothes crumpled up in a heap on the floor, drops of sweat and the stickiness of sex glistening on their bodies- Makoto closes his eyes and pretends they’re lovers. Sharing a bedroom, sharing a home together, sharing everything. Sleeping like this every night and waking up together every morning.

It’s nice to pretend.

He wants to ask Sousuke everything about his life before they met. He wants to know everything about Sousuke. His birthday, his favorite color, how many siblings he has, has he ever been in love before…

It’s so easy to think they’re in love with each other now.

It’s so simple to rest his head on Sousuke’s chest and make believe that this is how it’s supposed to be. That it can last forever.

But Sousuke is already asleep, and Makoto is too scared to ask him anything anyway.

Everything in life has a beginning and an ending.

And Makoto knows that the end has to begin somewhere, that it can deceive you and make you think you’ll always get to keep things the way you want them.

He throws an arm around Sousuke, quite possessively, asserting his claim, making up his mind to hold on for as long as he can.

If Sousuke asks him, he’ll leave everything behind and follow wherever he goes.

But he won’t ask. He'll just get tired of this life and leave one day. He'll find something better and he'll quit this shitty job.

And Makoto will smile at him until the very end. And bite his tongue back like he always does.

And wait for something else to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made a few changes here, now that the plot is thickening, including the title of the the story obviously. But there's still more smut before things take a bleaker turn. Which they inevitably will. Since I'm writing this fic. And if you know my fics, you know how everything I touch turns to angst sooner or later. Cheers.


	22. The Day of Reckoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized today that it's been a month since I updated this fic, so here's a tiny chapter. It's nearing the end anyhow. I think chapter 30 will be the last. 
> 
> TW: This chapter contains homophobic language, and deals with physical/domestic abuse.

Makoto is fidgeting in the back seat of the car, nervously biting his nails. He looks a bit dishevelled, despite the formality of his clothes.

A white button down shirt tucked into black pants. Newly polished shoes, courtesy of a very fussy Rei, and hair that is sticking up despite liberal amounts of gel used to slick it back.

The mocha latte, provided by Sousuke, is getting cold in the cupholder.

“Try and have a little sip, Makoto.” Sousuke urges from the driver’s seat, smiling at the brunet through the rear view mirror.

“If I do, I’ll throw up. I know I will.”  And Makoto looks it too, his lips twitching slightly, sweat gathering on his temples, going a little green in the face.

“Should I open the window? Should we stop for a bit?” Sousuke is truly concerned now.

“No. No, that’ll make me late. And he hates that the most.” Makoto clutches his stomach, rocking back and forth in his seat, mumbling something under his breath- like a chant or a curse- but Sousuke can’t make out the words.

The call from Makoto's father was sudden- a lightning bolt striking down from a clear blue sky.

Makoto and Nagisa were lazing around reading manga on Makoto’s bed when Rei ran in with the news, a look of horror on his face.

No explanation of why he wanted to see his son at the office. In private. With no one else around. And immediately.

At first they all thought Makoto and Sousuke had been found out. But Nagisa wisely pointed out that in such a case, Sousuke’s dismembered corpse would already be sinking to the bottom of a river up north.

Makoto and his father usually avoid each other, meeting only at family dinners, with his mother and the twins to mediate their limited conversation with each other.

Makoto knows he is a disappointment to his father, and the fact that he is hiding his homosexuality from his parents is an added source of frustration for him. Though he’s fairly sure his mother knows, even if the subject has never been discussed openly between them.

Since the matter of finding matches for the children has been left entirely to Makoto’s mother, there is no fathomable reason Makoto’s father would want to see him.

 

_Unless…_

 

Makoto hasn’t been exactly careful about hiding his many flings and flirtations with other men. His father must have heard a few reports and rumors by now. Maybe he and Kisumi went a little too far that night at the club, making a spectacle of themselves, kissing in public…

Seijuro is waiting outside when they arrive. He quietly asks Sousuke to leave and drags Makoto inside by the elbow.

“I’ve done as much damage control as I could. But don’t expect him to be lenient.” Seijuro hisses in Makoto’s ear as he examines the boy carefully, straightening his shirt collar and pushing back a few loose strands of hair.

“What did he find out, Sei-san?”

“That night. At the club. Well, more like in the parking lot. You were seen. With a man. Screwing around in the backseat. Now I have a very good idea who that man was, and I will have a talk with him soon enough. But your father has been informed that you were on your own that night. That you ran off with Kisumi and Haru without your bodyguard. Is that clear?”

“Y-yes. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up and listen. Do not try to defend yourself. He is angry, and if you talk too much you’ll get your precious bodyguard in trouble as well as yourself. Just keep your lips sealed, and deal with the consequences. I did the best I could. But your father…he isn’t happy. And don’t tell your mother about this. She worries about you too much as it is.”  

Seijuro opens the double doors, carved with intricate patterns depicting ancient scenes of war and bloodshed, leading into Tachibana-san's office.

Makoto tries to calm down his trembling body and soothe his fraying nerves as he follows Seijuro into the daunting space of his father’s office. Decorated traditionally, yet lacking the feel of home, Makoto has entered this space only once before, with his mother and siblings. Even then, he felt he would suffocate if he stayed too long. 

His father is dressed immaculately in a black yukata, frowning, pacing the floor.

Makoto is ordered to close the door behind him.

Seijuro offers a half-smile before retreating.

 

There was one time before this, when he was 11.  He’d run into the living room of their resplendent home, shouting something about sakura blossoms while his father was having tea with some guests.

It wasn’t the muddy feet or the shouting that earned Makoto his first beating from his father, though.

It was the pink dress he had asked his mother to buy for him, and promised to wear it in secret only.

But Makoto had the tendency to get excited by small things when he was younger. Though it happened very rarely. 

And he thought the dress really suited him. One of the maids told him he looked like a small sakura blossom himself, strayed away from the tree that was his home, lost and stranded in the hostile human world.

The poetry of her words spoke to something inside Makoto's childish heart. And he wanted to show himself off, pretending to be a lost sakura princess. 

He thought maybe his father would think he looked cute and smile at him a little. Or even pull his cheek. Or ruffle his hair.

In front of the guests, his father had gone very quiet, a strained smile on his face as he ordered an attendant to escort Makoto back to his room. 

He still remembers his mother going limp in his grandmother’s arms as his father dragged Makoto off to the study and locked the door behind them.

He remembers the thin bamboo stick and pain as he’d never felt before. His skin covered in angry red welts and his pretty dress in tatters. His mother’s arms and her helpless tears as she held him close afterwards. How she picked him up and left the house and they spent the night weeping together by the side of the road. How his father begged her afterwards to come back and swore not to touch Makoto again.

And the feeling of defeat when she gave in. Because she didn’t really have another choice. And two other children to take care of.

 

He closes his eyes and tries to think of her now.

But he can’t.

On the floor, already bleeding from his lips, hot tears threatening to break loose, an angry voice echoing in his ears like a distant storm.

 

_Useless._

_Faggot._

_No son of mine._

 

His father collapses on a sofa, exhausted from the effort, pointing towards the door with a single finger.

He didn’t even bother with a stick this time.

Makoto gets up quietly and leaves without a word.

 

Seijuro drives him back to the apartment.  

Nagisa is still there, waiting with Rei and Sousuke.

But Makoto doesn’t want to see anyone right now. Not like this.

Especially not Sousuke.

 

His clothes fall to the floor in a few strained motions, and he collapses facedown on his bed.

He doesn’t remember when he stops crying and falls asleep.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he senses a warm presence next to him, and fingers running softly through his hair.

At first he thinks of his mother.

But his mother smells like magnolias and summer rain.

And this is a different kind of scent. Familiar but somehow still so strange to him, so distant.

 

Warm lips find the bruises on his body and kiss them gently. Makoto hears himself sighing, giving in to the temporary comfort of this embrace.

He rolls over, onto his back, wanting to bear Sousuke’s weight on his chest.

Sweet kisses and gentle hands and quiet words promising safety, vowing love.

When Sousuke enters him, his tears betray him again.

But Sousuke kisses them away from his cheeks, moving inside him, filling him up.

 

Makoto falls asleep again, in Sousuke’s arms, unable to stop his tears.

 

He finds it absurd that it’s the memory of the pink dress- so badly ripped up that it couldn't be fixed again- that saddens him the most.

 


	23. The Night of Revelation

It takes a week for the bruises to fade.                                                                                        

Sousuke comes to his room at the end of each day, and they find themselves performing a nightly ritual of fucking in Makoto’s bed, bathing together afterwards, falling asleep in each others' arms. 

As the marks from his father’s beating begin to fade, new ones take their place. Sousuke’s teeth leaving imprints on his chest, and the insides of his thighs. His nipples swollen and constantly achey from the attention paid to them during the night. The little red half-moon scars from the firm grasp of his lover’s fingernails digging into the skin covering his hipbones.

The delusion of lovers’ bliss takes a hold of them both.  And Makoto knows how dangerous it can be if he lets it go on for too long.

But pain ebbs and fades into the distance as Sousuke holds him and whispers unspeakable things into his ears, his cock thrusting inside Makoto, his presence dulling Makoto’s senses to the rest of the world.

And for now, isn’t it fine to indulge in this little luxury? Now that Makoto has made up his mind about what needs to be done?

A month’s grace period is what he’s given himself.

Just one month.

In all his years, with everything that has come before, he deserves one month of happiness, doesn’t he?

Even though it’s selfish. Even though it’s tainted with the lie he’s telling them both every night, writhing under Sousuke’s warm body, promising him _forever_ , letting them both believe it….

He wants the marks Sousuke leaves on him to stay firmly in place like tattoos. To etch them upon his skin permanently, seep into his soul, so when they meet each other in a different lifetime, he’d be able to say sorry and show Sousuke the signs of their shared past and ask for another chance.

Because whatever it is that exists between them now has to end.

Even though Makoto is not strong enough to say the words that need saying.

A part of him wants to cry in Sousuke’s lap, and tell him everything. Beg him to run away together. To a different city, a different country. Maybe somewhere they can proclaim their love for each other openly without any fear. Start all over again.

But this is not some bad paperback romance. This kind of sordid happy ending has consequences no one ever writes about.

They both have lives to live. Lives that cannot merge. Running parallel to each other forever, as far ahead as Makoto can see, there is no possible future in which he gets what he wants.

So he’ll take this month, this final reprieve, and carve it in his memory.

And then he will sever the fragile, colorless thread that binds them together. And it makes his chest hurt thinking how it easy it will be, how little they understand each other, how unfamiliar they are with each other’s thoughts and dreams and ambitions.

 

All they share now is the connection between their bodies. The comfort, the warmth, the fleeting sense of intimacy.

He wants to take solace in it, and enjoy the few days he has left. He wants to convince himself that it’s nothing more than a fling. His first real love affair, as dramatic as he could have asked for. The thought of it would have made him quiver all over with excitement when he was 17. Now it just leaves him empty, shivering, cold- even as he lies next to his lover, wrapped up in his strong arms.

The truth of it is that he cannot sleep at night. He lies awake listening to Sousuke’s deep breathing, playing with strands of his jet back hair, kissing the nape of his neck to make him smile in his sleep.

Sousuke has confessed love to Makoto more than once, and he knows Sousuke means it. Because he is the type of straitlaced man who would never say anything he did not firmly believe to be true.

But Makoto has no idea how to respond to it. He doesn’t know how to take off the mask he’s so used to wearing now. To let Sousuke see the quiet, insecure boy who would prefer to wear glasses all time, and dress in over-sized sweaters, who likes to look at cute sailor dresses in fashion catalogs and wonder how he would look in them, and thinks of spending most of his time at home, ordering limited edition Alpacassos on ebay.

Because that boy is a stranger to Sousuke.

Because that is not the boy Sousuke loves.

And it would be unfair to let this go on, to let Sousuke put himself in danger, for someone he doesn’t even know.

So Makoto decides to act the necessary part for now, to play this game for a little bit longer, to enjoy this pretense of love.

 

It’s early morning on a Sunday, and neither of them have anywhere to be. Makoto rolls over sleeplessly, trying to banish the image of a calendar in his head, crossing off days until the end of the month.

Sousuke is asleep on his back, snoring a little bit, his arms spread out- as if he owns Makoto’s bed.

Green eyes light up as Makoto thinks about waking his lover up a little creatively.

The door is locked, and Rei knows not to barge in without knocking anyway.

Makoto lifts the blanket covering Sousuke’s lower half, and slides his body down so that his mouth is hovering on top of his bodyguard’s dark blue boxers. With the tip of his tongue, Makoto traces the outline of the bulge pushing through the fabric, leaving stains with his saliva.

Sousuke grunts in his sleep, mumbling something incoherently.

Makoto slides down Sousuke’s boxers to reveal his cock, and takes it in his mouth. His own body hovers above his lover, and when Sousuke finally opens his eyes blearily, the first thing he sees is Makoto’s ass covered in tight green silk, swaying right in front of his face. And the mind-numbingly pleasurable sensation of Makoto’s tongue wrapped around the head of his cock.

“That’s quite a view, you know.” Sousuke closes his eyes again and lets Makoto do what he does best. He’d like to return the favor, but his head feels light from all the blood having rushed down to his groin first thing in the morning.

Makoto swallows everything, and cheekily thanks Sousuke for breakfast before cajoling a few sloppy kisses out of the older man.

It’s easy to smile when you pretend today is forever, when you think that you are in control of the situation, and can cut off ties on your own terms. At least that is what Makoto keeps telling himself.

 

With only 10 days to go, Makoto gets a little careless.

On the couch in the living room on a Friday night, they find themselves getting heedlessly caught up in a rush of desire. Rei has gone out for the night- his date with Nagisa turning into an impromptu sleepover as it always does.

The two of them are alone, and Makoto decides to try something out that he's been holding back on, worried about what Sousuke will think of him.

When Makoto walks out of his bedroom in a two piece bathing suit of pink and white, tied with ribbons, barely held together on his broad frame, Sousuke almost gets a nosebleed.

With the lights turned down, and the city’s glow providing just the right amount of romantic ambiance, they lose themselves to a shared fantasy pretty quickly.

Makoto is in Sousuke’s lap, which is easily his favorite place to be. The bikini top is definitely too small for him, the ribbon barely tied around his back, stretching across his chest, his hard nipples poking through the pale pink fabric, totally wet with Sousuke’s saliva.

The bottom, which is basically is a glorified thong with some frills in front, is coming loose pretty quickly, the ribbons on the sides holding it together almost undone, and Makoto’s hardness poking out from the top, turning the white frilly number into a sticky, wet mess. Sousuke’s jeans are unzipped and Makoto has both of their cocks in his hands, pumping them together expertly, as Sousuke’s teeth bite and tug at his nipples through the triangular pieces of pink chiffon fabric covering them.

Makoto’s hips start moving soon enough as he moans out Sousuke’s name every few seconds, begging to be fucked like _a_ _dirty little brat_.

With every grinding movement that brings their cocks together, the sound of Sousuke firmly slapping Makoto’s ass resounds through the high-ceilinged room.

"Harder please, Sousuke. Do it harder". Makoto whines through his bitten lips, drawing a little blood with his sharp teeth. 

Sousuke's hand reaches up his back and the bikini top comes off with a single pull, hanging around Makoto's neck and across his chest. 

Their lips meet, and Makoto feels like Sousuke's tongue is reaching into his mouth, caressing every single corner of it, driving him wild with the warmth and the desperation of his lust. 

Makoto cums first, and uses his ejaculate to lubricate Sousuke's throbbing hardness, sliding down his lap on to the ground, on all fours, bending hungrily over the older man's cock, taking it right into his mouth, sucking on it with loud, squelching sounds. Makoto moves his ass around as his head bobs up and down without stopping for breath, feeling the soft fabric of the cum-stained white thong rubbing against his balls, caught up between his butt cheeks. He gyrates his hips to satisfy the frustrating buildup of desire returning to the lower half of his body as he continues sucking on Sousuke. 

Before Sousuke can cum inside his mouth, Makoto's lips part and he draws back, climbing into Sousuke's lap again, pushing the thin white fabric of the thong aside to let Sousuke's cock inside himself.

After a few thrusts, Makoto cums again with another loud slap on his ass, just as Sousuke fails to pull out in time, and ejaculates inside him, leaving him full and his head going blank with the multiplicity of sensations overflowing inside his body. 

He falls against Sousuke's chest, breathing heavily, trying to regain his composure, as Sousuke whispers filthy compliments about his tight little asshole, and his slutty pink nipples into his ear. Things that Makoto would probably slap someone over if he was in control of his senses now make him go hot all over again, make him wish he could go for another round with Sousuke right away. 

 

They’re both so incensed with the aftermath of their shared pleasure that they don’t hear the elevator bell going _ding_ , or the door opening softly, or the little gasp of disbelief.

They don’t see Haru being pulled back outside by Kisumi, a hand covering his mouth to stop him from crying bloody murder, looking as though he has seen the worst nightmare from his childhood come to life in front of his eyes.


	24. Five Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is a time-skip, and a big one at that.  
> There was always supposed to be a time-skip in this story.  
> I just didn't have it exactly planned out. This just seems like a good place to pick it up again.

Makoto leans against the glass doors by the school's entrance, waiting for a break in the incessant rainfall.

The rest of the students and teachers have already left.

He pushes his glasses back, and runs a disgruntled hand through his messy, overgrown hair. He’s forgotten his umbrella at Shuichi’s apartment again, and has no choice but to wait for the weather to cooperate before walking back to his own house.

Shuichi will probably yell at him again for being an airhead, and leaving his shit behind. So much for being discrete about this sordid little affair with a divorced salary man.

But then, Makoto never was good at discretion.

He smiles a slanted smile, and stares ahead at the endless rain.

 

No one who knew him all those years ago would recognize him anymore; not at first glance anyhow.

He’s wearing worn out jeans and a button-down plaid shirt, its sleeves all rolled up. No trace of lip gloss, no easy smile, no piercings, no sign of pink anywhere.

Makoto has simply moved on from living one lie to another.

 

 

The rain shows no sign of abating.

With a hopeless prayer and only half a heart, Makoto runs out into the pouring rain.

He doesn’t plan anything anymore.

He’s learned that things have a way of sorting themselves out, without any consideration for the plans and schemes of mere mortals like himself.

The dark grey sky fidgets with flashes of lightning. The sound of thunder sets leaves trembling on their branches. There is no one out in the rain, in this little town Makoto’s made his new home.

He races down the sloping street, and only stops when he’s outside his house.  A shabby little place at the edge of town- the decrepit relic of another century, with a leaky roof and a garden run amok. It’s a small place, with no servants, and no bodyguards. But it’s his. His refuge and his solace. And he loves it.

 

Soaked to the bone, Makoto locks the door, and discards his wet clothes at the entrance. He stands naked, clutching himself, and shivering slightly.

It might still be  summer, but the crisp chill of fall is already in the air.

Shaking himself off like a half-drowned golden retriever, Makoto runs to the washroom and wraps a towel around himself, waiting for the bathtub to fill with hot water.

He sits at the edge of the tub, running one hand under the scalding water, trying not to think of the life he lived before.

Of the man he used to love.

Of the man he still loves, try as he might to forget him with every day that passes.

 

Rainy days make him stupidly nostalgic, and he laughs quietly at his reflection in the foggy mirror, berating it for the folly of remembrance.

 

**_That life isn’t yours anymore._ **

**_You are no longer the pampered brat of a cruel father and a spineless mother._ **

**_You’re a school teacher in a small town near Hokkaido._ **

**_And your lover’s name is_ ** **_Shuichi._ **

**_Not Sousuke._ **

****

 

The words are a curse he keeps reciting to himself, to stop the spell from breaking. The spell that assures him that this life is the only one he can have. That the other life, the one in Tokyo, was nothing more than a fever dream.

He slinks into the bathtub and lets himself sink beneath the water.

The salt in his eyes stings and he almost chokes before rising again.

 

Five years ago, things didn’t exactly go as he wanted them to.

Before he could break up with Sousuke, his bodyguard left.

A few wise words about _separate lives_ and some bullshit about the two of them belonging to different worlds that could never converge, and Sousuke was gone.

Seijuro must have had a talk with him about everything. It was too dangerous to risk his neck for some spoiled piece of ass. And Makoto didn’t blame him.

As always, he blamed himself for Sousuke leaving him behind.

Of course, there were other factors involved.

Such as Rin returning from Australia, and reigniting some old schoolboy friendship with Sousuke, offering him a better job abroad, and safety.

Makoto still burns hot with embarrassment at the memory of the scene he’d made when Sousuke told him about quitting the bodyguard job, and moving to Australia. How Makoto had fallen to the floor of his bedroom, on his knees, and begged Sousuke to take him along.

And how Sousuke had smiled sadly, and kissed the top of his head before walking out the door.

 

**_You’ll be fine without me Makoto. Your life is here. You have so much to do. Don’t throw it away after this sordid little affair of ours._ **

 

Just like that, Makoto’s love for Sousuke was turned into the back-cover of a cheap paperback romance- something middle-aged women read on vacations, hating their husbands and cursing their children.

 

But worse than that was losing his friends.

He still remembers Haru’s shaky voice, confessing hopeless love, and Kisumi’s jealous anger.

How Nagisa and Gou were forced to take sides, as Makoto rejected Haru, and Haru broke Kisumi’s heart. All of it was so melodramatic that the recollection makes him laugh now.

What a strange, unreal, soap-opera life they’d all led in that overcrowded city.

 

Kisumi transferred to a university in Canada soon after, and Haru became even more reclusive than before.

Nagisa had his own problems to deal with- unable to come out to his parents, while being madly in love with Rei.

Gou tried to keep them together for as long as she could, but there was nothing for it.

Their little group of friends was shattered into pieces in a matter of weeks.

The weight of it still makes Makoto’s breathing catch in his throat.

He blames himself for all of their dispersed lives.

He is at the centre of it all.

If it wasn’t for him, things might have been different for everyone.

If they had only let him be, sitting by himself at the back of the class, awkward limbs and smudged glasses, they would all be happier. 

If Makoto disappeared from their lives, it would make everything better for his friends, his family, and for Sousuke.

 

And that’s exactly what he did.

 

After Kisumi left, Makoto transferred to the University of Education in Hokkaido. Away from the city and its myriad, sharp-edged reminders of a failed life.

He’d graduated last year, and found a job teaching at an elementary school in a small town nearby, almost immediately afterwards.

Seijuro helped him find the little house he calls his own now.

An abandoned old place his mother’s family owned.

Makoto had enough money in his trust fund to cover his university fees and the cost of buying and repairing the house.

His only solace was that the money was his mother’s gift to him, not his father’s. Or he’d rather have died starving on the streets than use it to start his life all over again.

 

He hates how nostalgic he can get when left alone.

He climbs out of the bath, wraps a towel around his waist, and texts Shuichi to come over for a quick fuck.

His dinner is a store-bought bento from the night before.

As he waits for Shuichi to show up, Makoto falls back in bed and starts the night by himself.

When his lover shows up, Makoto’s already cum twice.

Once with his dildo, and once without.

It’s how Shuichi likes it anyway. No foreplay, no declarations of love. Just mindless rutting to push away the pain and loneliness for one more night.

 

Hips raised, face shoved against the pillow, Shuichi’s cock thrusting into him, Makoto’s mind suddenly betrays him.

 Another voice from another place.

Something he never wants to hear again.

Warm, earnest words.

Slow, sweet kisses.

And all those promises.

 

**_I’ll be with you forever Makoto._ **

**_I promise._ **

**_I won’t let anyone hurt you._ **

**_Not ever again._ **

After Shuichi leaves, Makoto lets the façade crumble, and cries into his pillow.

His mother always told him that first loves end badly.

But he’d never listened.

He'd let it all go to his head.

What a stupid, useless boy he’d been.

 

Clutching his favorite alpacasso close to his chest (Pocky-chan being one of the few things that made the transition from Tokyo to Hokkaido in one piece), Makoto listens to the sound of falling rain, and thinks of the love he’s lost for good.

Every book he’s read, every movie he’s watched, has told him that time heals all wounds.

What a bunch of crap. 

The ache in his heart only grows worse.

The memory of teal eyes smiling at him, of warm fingers running through his hair, wiping away his tears- it's all still as fresh as the day Sousuke left him.

He falls asleep a little while before dawn, only to dream erratically of silk robes, sakura mochi, and the fading laughter of his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the time it took me to update this fic. I was dealing with some stuff over the last few months, and I couldn't bring myself to write properly. Updates were usually erratic, and I'm sorry about that if you were waiting for this story to carry on.  
> This chapter might seem like a narrative cheat, but there really was no other way for me to go.  
> As I said before, this story was always going to skip ahead in time.  
> I thought it worked better to cover the angst and breakups in flashbacks, rather than labour through multiple filler chapters of melodrama.  
> Only a little more left, and if you hate me (which you have every right to), please remember that I have promised a happy ending for this one.


	25. A Few Days Later

He sleeps in a little too long, and when he finally wakes up, he has 20 minutes left to get to work.

He scrambles around frantically, and throws on a pale blue sweater along with his usual jeans. Brushing his teeth, he notices his hair standing up every which way. There’s no time for a shower, and he cannot gel it back without looking like some geeky yakuza reject.

He scrimmages around in the washroom cabinet for a hairpin or something similar to control his hair, but finds nothing. Cursing his luck, he rushes into his bedroom and almost tosses out every single content in the drawer of his bedside table.

When he notices the matching Hello Kitty hairclips, his heart freezes in place.

He was sure he threw them out before leaving Tokyo, but apparently he never did.

Desperate, fighting back a hint of nausea, he steels himself, and picks them up. He carefully uses the pins (decorated with Hello Kitty’s face, strawberries, and polka-dotted hearts- all red and pink) to control his messy hair, pinning it to the right side, tucking the ends behind his ears.

He pinches his pale cheek for a bit of color, grabs an energy drink from the fridge, and rushes to work.

 

His students are very amused by his choice of hair accessories, and for the first time in a while, he finds himself laughing wholeheartedly.

Throughout the day, his fingers keeps wandering up to his hair, touching the hairclips, just to make sure they’re still in place.

After the school day ends, he’s in-charge of supervising the cleanup. As he’s leaving the building, he sees one of his colleagues fussing over a student.

He wonders why the kid hasn’t been picked up yet, even though classes ended an hour ago.

Just as he’s mentally berating the careless parent, his colleague calls out to him.

“Oh, Tachibana, I’m so glad you’re still here!” Hamasaki Akio is a couple of years older than him, and always in a hurry to be somewhere other than she currently is.

“You are?” Makoto looks at her a little apprehensively.

“I have to rush home and bake a quick coffee cake for my book club tonight, and it turns out that Kazuki-kun’s father is still going to be another half hour getting here. Would you please mind waiting with him until he gets picked up?” Hamasaki looks at Makoto pleadingly, hopping a little on her toes.

“Of course I don’t mind.” Makoto smiles gently at the little boy who is sitting on the bench by himself, clutching his satchel, trying very hard not to cry.

“Oh, thank you! I owe you!” Hamasaki quickly pats Makoto’s elbow, unable to reach his shoulder being about half Makoto’s height, and runs off to fetch her bicycle.

 

Makoto approaches the bench cautiously, smiling at Kazuki.

The boy is about 4 years old, with dark hair, and dark brown eyes. He is dressed in the adorable blue and white sailor outfit which is the school’s uniform, holding on to an oversized leather satchel which clearly belongs to one of his parents.

“Hi, I’m Tachibana-sensei. I’ll be waiting with you until your dad comes to get you.” Makoto sits down next to Kazuki, and extends a hand in greeting.

Kazuki looks up then, and for a brief second, there is a hint of color in his shining brown eyes. Something of a deep aquamarine hue.

Makoto takes in the boy’s features carefully as Kazuki returns his smile with a shy little grin.

There is something strangely familiar about Kazuki’s pointed, pale face and the way his dark hair falls across his forehead.

The little boy refuses to let go of Makoto’s hand after shaking it, and they sit together in silence, waiting as the minutes go by.

Slowly, carefully, Makoto gets Kazuki to relax, to talk, to smile a bit more.

Over the next 20 minutes, he learns that Kazuki is new in town. That he can speak both Japanese and English. His father is a very busy, but very nice man who loves Kazuki very much, and packs his bento box with octopus-shaped sausages for lunch every day. Kazuki’s mother doesn’t live with them anymore, but Kazuki knows she still loves him, because she calls every weekend, and sends him presents. But she cannot be with Kazuki and his father anymore, though he doesn’t really understand the reason. He thinks his parents aren’t friends anymore, and it bothers him, especially because his father gets sad sometimes when he thinks Kazuki isn’t looking. Also, his favorite animals are fluffy bunnies, and his father has promised to take him to a petting zoo soon.

Makoto is busy chatting with Kazuki when a sleek, black Mercedes stops outside the school’s entrance.

He doesn’t notice the tall man in a neatly ironed suit, and tired teal eyes, step outside and walk towards him and Kazuki.

Makoto doesn’t see Sousuke at all until he is standing before the bench, coughing to get their attention.

 

It’s like being wrapped up in a strange mental fog.

Nothing makes sense, and time seems to be flowing out of order.

Makoto keeps smiling at Sousuke, exchanging meaningless pleasantries, complimenting Kazuki’s upbringing, talking about the weather, pretending he has no idea who Sousuke is, has never met him before today…

He takes Sousuke’s business card, which is offered up to him politely, and a little coldly.

He refuses Kazuki’s suggestion to drop him off home, noticing with a slight pain in his chest that Sousuke doesn’t replicate his son’s enthusiasm about giving Makoto a ride.

He stands rooted to the ground long after Sousuke has driven off with Kazuki.

He thinks that if he moves, he will break into a multitude of useless fragments- a heap of discarded trash falling to the ground.

_No no no. I won’t cry. Not again. Not for him._

But his green eyes blur with tears anyway.

 

*********

 

Sousuke drives home in a daze.

He smiles at his son, changes out of his suit into a well-worn tee and sweats, and cooks them both a quick meal of curry and rice.

He listens to Kazuki go on about his day, wondering why Kazuki is so chatty today when he is usually quiet and has to be coaxed for details about what happened at school. Normally, whenever Sousuke runs late while picking him up, Kazuki sulks and even tears up a little, and has to be calmed down with strawberry pudding.

But everything is different today.

Sousuke thinks he has a good idea why his son is so open and relaxed.

That smile can charm the coldest of hearts.

Sousuke still remembers every little twinkle of those green eyes, every twitch of that perfect nose.

He’s dreamt of that smile every night for the last 5 years, hasn’t he?

Then why did he treat Makoto as if they didn’t know each other at all? Why did he pretend they had never been anything more than two strangers meeting by chance?

But then, Makoto went along with the pretense, didn’t he?

 

Sousuke finds himself recalling the last time they were together.

He remembers the way Makoto looked at him, clung to him, wept and wept like a helpless child.

He remembers thinking Makoto would forget him in a week, and go back to living his carefree life.

He remembers how even then, he knew he was wrong, that he was being unfair. He knew he was breaking Makoto’s heart, along with his own.

But he did it anyway.

Not because there wasn’t another choice.

Because there is always a different path to take, always a different ending to the story than the one that gets written down.

But Sousuke took the easier way out.

As he had always done.

Because he always played the coward.

 

He should have taken Makoto by the hand and disappeared with him.

Maybe somewhere by the ocean, a small house just for the two of them.

Like the little cabin where they’d first fallen in love with each other.

Every smile Makoto has ever smiled, every sigh he’s sighed, every time he’s called out Sousuke’s name- it’s a film that plays on a loop inside Sousuke’s head, day and night, without pause.

He wonders for a moment if Rin purposely sent him here to look after the Hokkaido branch, and got him a house in this seemingly insignificant town.

Or if it’s just another twist of fate.

Has his luck finally turned?

 

A sudden image of Makoto flashes through his mind. Makoto as he was this afternoon, trying to pretend that everything was okay. His smile sweet as ever, though it was clearly strained. His blue sweater suited him perfectly, but he did look much thinner than before, and rather pale. As if he wasn’t getting enough food or sleep.

And the way his hand kept touching those stupid little hairclips Sousuke had bought for him. How long ago was that? It feels like Sousuke has lived and died more than once since then.

He wonders what Makoto would be doing right now, and he is overcome with an urge to hold Makoto close, tell him everything will be fine, tell him he’ll never be alone again.

 

Sousuke pauses in the middle of washing dishes, and unthinkingly clutches the fabric of his t-shirt right above his aching heart.

Kazuki lightly touches his father’s elbow, holding a washcloth in his hand, quietly asking Sousuke if everything is okay.

Sousuke smiles at his son reassuringly, and ruffles his hair.

They finish washing the dishes, and just as Sousuke is tucking his son into bed, his phone starts ringing.

 

The number is unfamiliar, but it appears to be a local call.

Out of curiosity, he picks it up.

“Hello. Yamazaki Sousuke speaking.” His voice is businesslike as usual.

“Errr. Yeah, ummm. Do you know someone named, ummm Tachibana?” The stranger’s voice is barely audible over the music and noise of what is most likely a bar.

“Yes. I do. Why? Is he fine?” Sousuke surprises himself with the urgency he feels to take responsibility for Makoto once again.

“He’s kinda drunk. And passed out? And he doesn’t seem to have anyone with him. I tried calling the most-dialed number on his phone, but no one would answer. He was clutching a business card, and it had your number on it, so I called that instead. You need to come pick him up, ‘cause I don’t think he can get home by himself.”

After asking for the bar’s location, and giving strict instructions to the caller to leave Makoto where he is, Sousuke hangs up.

There is panic building up inside his chest. He needs to find Makoto as soon as possible.

He never should have left Makoto.

 

“Kazuki, do you feel like going on an adventure with Papa?” Sousuke throws on a hoodie over his t-shirt, and starts putting socks on his son’s little feet.

“Mhm. I do. What kind of an adventure is it?” Kazuki hurries out of bed, and puts on his jacket before Sousuke laces up his shoes.

“A rescue mission. You remember Tachibana-sensei right? He looked after you today?”

“Mhm. He’s very nice, and I think he’s pretty and I liked his hairclips.” Kazuki nods his head enthusiastically.

“He is very pretty, isn’t he? Anyway, he isn’t feeling well, and he’s kind of lost, so we’re going to go get him, and bring him home with us.”

“So we can look after him?”

“Yes. So we can look after him.”

“Good. I don’t want him to be alone, Papa.”

“Neither do I, Kazuki.”

 

*********

 

Makoto is mumbling incoherently, collapsed on a barstool, eyes half-closed.

“Why is there a kid in my bar?” The barkeep folds his arms across his broad, barrel-like chest, staring at Kazuki rather threateningly.

“I’m sorry, I just need help getting my friend to the car. And then we’ll be out of your hair, kid and all.” Sousuke smiles apologetically, trying to hoist Makoto up.

“Sou-chan? Is that you? Do you know, I had the weirdest dream? I was a school teacher, Sou-chan. Can you imagine that?” Makoto’s drunken laughter is interrupted by dry heaving.

“Just get him out before he throws up all over my bar.” The barkeep huffs at Sousuke.

“Got it. Kazuki, can you hold on to Papa’s hoodie really tight? Don’t let go until we get to the car, okay?” Sousuke tries to ignore the fact that most of the bar’s patrons are staring at him, Kazuki, and Makoto now.

“Tsk. Here, you take your son. I’ll help you with this useless punk.” The barkeep huffs again before emerging from behind the counter, and grabbing Makoto.

“Tanaka-san! I had the weirdest dream just now! I thought I saw my bodyguard from back in Tokyo. Can you believe that?” Makoto lets Tanaka support him a little too easily.

As Sousuke lifts Kazuki up, he glares at Tanaka, wondering how close Makoto is to him.

Once Makoto is secured in the backseat next to Kazuki, Sousuke thanks the barkeep a little half-heartedly.

“Just make sure he gets home safe, okay?” Tanaka smiles bemusedly at Makoto before walking away.

 

*********

 

On the way to Sousuke’s house, Makoto throws up all over himself.

Kazuki looks thoroughly disgusted, but still pats Makoto’s head gently, trying to calm him down.

After depositing his son inside the living room, Sousuke comes back to the driveway to fetch Makoto.

He looks so fragile and so beautiful, despite being covered in puke, his blue sweater all ruined.

Kazuki, too excited to go back to sleep, is sent to the kitchen to get Makoto some water while Sousuke undresses him and cleans him up with a wet towel.

It takes a while for Sousuke to get Makoto out of his clothes, down to his underwear.

He smiles at the sight of white briefs decorated with a strawberry print.

By the time Kazuki returns, Makoto is dressed up in one of Sousuke’s oversized t-shirts, and covered up with a blanket, his brow feverish, his breathing agitated.

The Hello Kitty hairclips are resting on the sidetable, having been gently removed by Sousuke. 

Sousuke sits down in bed next to Makoto, and Kazuki climbs up beside his father, watching the proceedings with great interest.

“Come on, Makoto. Get up. Have some water. You’ll feel better.” Sousuke places an arm behind Makoto’s back, and lifts him up with a bit of effort.

“Sou-chan?” Makoto’s eyes flutter open, and his dry lips part to have a sip of water.

“Yes. It’s me, Makoto.” Sousuke’s face softens into a smile.

 

_How did I ever manage to be without you for so long?_

 

“B-but you left me. You’re not supposed to be here. Why did you come back?” Makoto suddenly pushes away the glass of water, almost spilling its contents.

“Kazuki, be a good boy and take this glass back to the kitchen, okay?” Sousuke doesn’t want his son to see Makoto like this- weak and broken.

More than that, Sousuke doesn’t want Kazuki to see his father cry.

“Why are you here? Why are you with me? You left me, didn’t you? You don’t need me. No one needs me. No one…” And Makoto breaks down, holding on to Sousuke with as much strength as he can muster.

All Sousuke can do is fight back his own tears, and kiss Makoto’s forehead, rocking him back and forth in his arms, humming soothingly to get him to sleep.

Half an hour later, Sousuke finds himself awake in his bed- Makoto sleeping with his head on Sousuke’s chest, and Kazuki using his right arm for a pillow.

He smiles to himself, and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth of the two people he loves most in the whole world.

And then Makoto’s phone rings from the bedside table.

Carefully untangling himself, Sousuke answers it.

 

“Makoto? It’s Shuichi. Where the fuck are you? You were supposed to call when you got back from the bar.” The man on the other end sounds impatient, harsh.

“And who are you to Makoto, if I may ask?” Sousuke keeps his voice low and calm so as not to wake up Makoto and Kazuki.

“Who am I? Who the fuck are you? Is that slut cheating on me?” The man sounds angry. Sousuke imagines him as a weedy-looking salaryman with thinning hair. He imagines pummeling the man into bloody pulp.

“If you call Makoto such filthy names ever again, I will find you, and I will break your neck. Do you understand that?” Sousuke’s voice sounds almost cheerful as he cracks his knuckles in anticipation of the violence he’s threatening.

“Wh-who the fuck are you? How d-dare you? That fag said he’s only spreading his legs for me. That f-fucking liar!” The man stutters with a mixture of anger and apprehension.

“Makoto is with me now. And if you come near him again, I will rip out your spine, and choke you with it, you little piece of shit. Is that clear?”

“B-but…Let me talk to him…He was drunk when I left him. H-how do I know you haven’t kidnapped him? I-I’ll call the police if you don’t let me talk to him!” Sousuke thinks he can hear a certain concern in the other man’s voice now, but that doesn’t matter.

“Go ahead. Call them. Tell them to come see Yamazaki Sousuke. Tell them how you abandoned Makoto in a bar. Tell him how you’re…what kind of a relationship you have with him. Go on. I dare you.”

“I…I’m just…”

“You’re _nothing_. Don’t call him again. Don’t come to see him. If I ever see you anywhere around Makoto, I will fucking kill you. Do you get that? Tell me you get it. Say: _Yes Yamazaki-san. I get it._ Go on.”

“B-But…”

“Don’t make me repeat myself now.”

“Y-yes. Yamazaki-san. I-I get it. I get it.”

 

Sousuke hangs up, smirking triumphantly.

He puts the phone back on the nightstand, and sighs heavily.

He leans over Makoto’s face, and lightly kisses his lips.

Makoto groans a little in his sleep, and mumbles Sousuke’s name.

After placing a kiss on Kazuki’s forehead, Sousuke falls asleep on his back, feeling content for the first time in years.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you can see, this story is almost at an end. I think I'm looking at 2 more chapters to tie up the loose ends. Maybe 3. There will be a bit more of what Sousuke's been up to in the last 5 years, and how he managed to acquire a son. The building up of a new relationship between Sousuke and Makoto. And of course, the rest of the characters have to be be dealt with. If there is anything in particular you'd like to see resolved here, let me know. Because this story will be ending very soon. Cheers.


	26. The Next Morning

Makoto wakes up feeling like his head is full of jumbled-up barbed wire.

It hurts to open his eyes, it hurts to think, and it definitely hurts when he tries to sit up.

As his vision adjusts to the dim light in a room that is clearly not his own, Makoto starts remembering.

Not everything, but bits and pieces.

He remembers seeing Sousuke after school.

Sousuke, who had come to pick up his son Kazuki.

 

_Sousuke has a son now._

_Sousuke has moved on and put together a life for himself._

_Sousuke doesn’t need me anymore._

_Just like everyone else._

 

Hugging his body with both arms, Makoto realizes he isn’t wearing much in the way of clothes. Peeking under the blanket, he is relieved to see that at least his underwear is intact.

He wonders who he went home with after getting drunk at the bar. He thinks of Shuichi and suddenly feels guilty. After all, the two of them did sort of agree to become exclusive only a month ago.

But this is a lapse in judgment Shuichi doesn’t need to know about.

Makoto slept around a little after moving away from Tokyo. He’s woken up in strange rooms before, memories of his one-night stand nothing but a drunken haze.

So this isn’t anything new.

He calls out to see if anyone is around, but no one responds to his _“Hello there? Anyone home?”_

Assuming that whoever he slept with has stepped out, thanking every deity he can think of that it’s a holiday, Makoto decides to leave as soon as possible.

So he stumbles out of bed, shoves on his glasses, haphazardly puts his Hello Kitty hair clips back on, and looks for his clothes on the floor, but there is no sign of them. Everything in the room is exceptionally neat and tidy. Even the other side of the bed has been made up, though Makoto faintly recalls the warmth of another body next to his from the night before.

He wonders how much of a felony it would be to take some clothes out of the closet of whoever he spent last night with.

Looking around the room in desperation, wearing nothing but a ridiculous pair of strawberry print underpants, Makoto almost misses the little picture frame on the nightstand.

He has to move closer to it, pushing his glasses back to see properly.

It’s a lovely photograph, carefully displayed in a minimalist black frame that looks rather expensive. Sousuke with Kazuki, holding up some sort of fish they’ve caught together, both father and son smiling happily.

Makoto doesn’t realize what he’s doing as he falls to the floor on his knees in front of the photograph, a sharp throbbing pain in his chest making it hard to breathe, tears spilling forth from his eyes as he tries to stop himself from screaming in an agony too intense for words.

But he forces himself to stand straight, and draws a deep breath, curbing the flow of tears.

He has to get out of here. He cannot see Sousuke right now. He won’t be able to stand his ground. Not like this.  

 

After he’s calmed down, he rifles through the closet, and grabs at a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, both items just a little loose on his slim frame. He can always drop the clothes back after laundering them, but he must get away from here before he runs into Sousuke.

Makoto rushes out of the bedroom, barely registering anything around him, and makes his way to the door. Just as he is turning the knob, the door opens, and he almost falls onto his back, startled by Sousuke’s return.  

Sousuke looks a little puzzled at the sight of a dishevelled Makoto, rushing out of the house in Sousuke’s clothes, but his confusion only lasts a moment.

As Makoto tries to push his way past Sousuke, avoiding his eyes, Sousuke grabs a hold of Makoto’s arm and pulls him into an uncomfortable embrace.

 

“Leaving already?” Sousuke’s grip tightens around Makoto’s waist as Makoto struggles against him, trying desperately to escape.

“Please let go. I can’t…I can’t do this.” Makoto’s voice is still hoarse, barely more than a whisper, and Sousuke feels his heart aching once again.

He kicks the door shut behind him, and drags Makoto into the living room, throwing him onto the couch.

After the tenderness he felt towards Makoto the night before, Sousuke suddenly finds himself filling up with savage desire.

“I don’t think I allowed you to borrow my clothes, Makoto.” He climbs onto the couch, pushing Makoto down on his back, forcing himself on top.

“Sousuke…Let me go…” Makoto averts his eyes, his lower lip trembling like a delicate rose petal.

“No can do. Not after finding you again, after all these years.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!”

Makoto pushes back against Sousuke with all his strength, managing to break free, making for the door.

But he’s pulled back onto the couch again, falling right into Sousuke’s lap.

“It’s not bullshit, Mako. I love you. I’ve always loved you. You know that, don’t you?”

Sousuke’s arms are like iron clasps around Makoto’s waist, refusing to release him.

Makoto feels Sousuke’s breath, warm and heavy, at the nape of his neck.

He’s not frustrated anymore, or angry- just empty and defeated.

“No I don’t know that you love me, Sousuke. All I know is that you left. And I’ve been alone for the last 5 years, while you….You’ve gone ahead and lived a whole life by yourself…” His voice fades to silence, and he thinks he will like nothing better to pass the rest of his life this- being held and never looked at.

 

Sousuke says nothing at first, but Makoto can feel Sousuke’s lips touching lightly against the delicate skin of his neck.

“It’s not what you think, Makoto. I’ve missed you every minute, every day, every night…”

“Must have been hard to keep that up, what with fucking a woman and having a child with her…”

“It wasn’t like that. I swear, Makoto. I didn’t plan it.”

“No you just planned the part where you dumped the stupid yakuza brat and left Japan to live your life without…”

“Makoto…”

 

In the silence, Sousuke kisses the nape of Makoto’s neck again, lifts up the hem of Makoto’s shirt to trace the skin underneath.

Makoto does nothing to resist him, going limp in his arms.

 

“So what’s she like?”

“Kazuki’s mother, you mean? She was my boss in Sydney you know.”

“Hah. You have a thing for fucking your employers, don’t you?”

“It wasn’t like that…It’s just…I didn’t know the language when I got there, didn’t know anyone at all, and I missed you so much, I thought I was losing my mind. Rin was never really around much, and she helped me cope. We’d go out drinking together and talk about everything we’d left behind…And it just happened one night…I don’t even remember, really.”

 

Makoto says nothing. He doesn’t know if he wants to hear more. All strength has left his body, and he feels imprisoned by the twisting threads of Sousuke’s past.

 

“She wanted to raise Kazuki on her own, but I was tired of running away from everything that was important to me, Makoto. So I stayed. But we never married. We had Kazuki, and each other. And for a while, it was enough.”

 

There is another kiss placed gently on Makoto’s skin, but he only feels an icy cold numbness.

_It was enough. It was enough for you when I … I lost everything after I lost you…And you were fine…And it was enough, not having me in your life anymore…_

 

“It was never really going to work out, and she knew it just as well as I did. But we tried to stay together for Kazuki. Until she met someone else, someone new. And the life we had was no longer enough for her. And before she left, she made me realize how it was never enough for me either, though I’d learned to pretend that it was.”

 

Sousuke turns Makoto’s face towards his own, slowly and firmly.

Makoto doesn’t resist him, doesn’t have the strength to resist him anymore.

As the tip of Sousuke’s tongue traces the outline of Makoto’s lower lip, everything grows hazy. At moments like this one, when lovers reunite after a long separation, you’re supposed to feel like the years in between no longer matter. But Makoto feels the weight of every single moment he has spent without Sousuke on his chest, feels the loneliness of all that time surging through his body in unbearable waves.

He barely tastes their kiss, barely feels the closeness between them, his body responding blankly and mechanically to Sousuke’s mouth.

When Sousuke breaks the kiss, his eyes a full of concern and a hint of distress, Makoto looks away from him.

 

“The years I’ve spent apart from you have given me Kazuki. And I don’t regret my decision to leave, Makoto. I wouldn’t give any of it up if I had to make the choice all over again.” Sousuke lowers his gaze as he speaks, his voice almost breaking.

“I wouldn’t want you to.” Makoto lies with a half-smile, hating himself.

 

“But that doesn’t mean I was right in leaving you, for thinking I was freeing you, freeing myself. I’m sorry, Makoto. It just…It became so complicated, and I…Seijuro told me about the reason your father beat you…If it wasn’t for me…If I hadn’t been so careless that night, you would never…I could not bear it Makoto. I was supposed to be protecting you. But I just…I felt like I was using you, that I was ruining your life, tainting you with my shitty luck. And I couldn’t bear it Makoto. And I’m sorry for who I was back then. I just did one cowardly thing after the next, and I hurt you when all I wanted was to save you, love you, take care of you. I’m sorry, Makoto. I’m so sorry.”

Sousuke leans his forehead against Makoto’s, hot tears welling from his eyes.

Something shifts inside Makoto’s heart that has been frozen for years, hiding in the shadows.

With his fingertips, Makoto brushes away Sousuke’s tears, trying to fight back his own.

“It’s okay, Sousuke. It’s okay. I understand. I just…I’ve been so alone…And I…”

Sousuke kisses him again, longer and deeper this time, and Makoto feels himself burning up all over, his skin turning from ice to fire.

 

And in coursing through the kiss are all the words Makoto has been longing to hear for 5 years.

_I love you. I’ve missed you. I need you. I’ve always needed you. Will you be with me again?_

He doesn’t realize when Sousuke removes the borrowed clothes from his body, has him pinned down on the couch in nothing but his childish underwear.

His own voice seems to be reaching him from a faraway place, sighing out Sousuke’s name.

Sousuke is fully naked as he moves on top, and Makoto can see that his body is sturdier than before- stronger, bulkier. Every single one of Sousuke’s movements is controlling, certain, determined.

He teases Makoto’s nipples with his teeth, pulls down the strawberry print underwear, tugging at the hem teasingly and slowly, bending down to lick the exposed tip of Makoto’s erection. He glides his body all over Makoto’s, building up the friction between them, pushing his hard cock against Makoto’s, swirling his tongue messily inside Makoto’s mouth.

There is wetness on Makoto’s lips, his chin, his nipples, his cock- everything is slick and laced with the kind of desire he hasn’t felt in years. His mind surrenders to the pleasure in which his body is helplessly drowning.

As Sousuke’s spit-covered fingers start moving inside him, he arches his back, and bites his lower lip to stop himself from moaning.

Sousuke lifts Makoto’s right leg up over his shoulder, and enters him rather forcefully, driving all breath out of Makoto’s body for a moment that last as long as forever.

In the eternity of that second, Makoto feels himself dying and coming back to life. He feels renewed, resurrected. He feels like himself. The person who has been hiding behind borrowed faces and obnoxious clothes, pretending to be everyone and anyone but himself.

 

For the first time in a long time, Makoto cums without touching his own cock.

Only Sousuke can stir him up like this, make him feel heady and dazed with love and lust.

 

Afterwards, sweating and panting, Sousuke collapses on top of him.

His hoarse, deep voice whispers words of love, of desire, of hunger, of devotion- pouring them into Makoto’s ears like a potent poison, making him drunk on Sousuke all over again. Makoto’s hands move across Sousuke’s broad, muscular back, making sure of him, confirming their togetherness. Underneath Sousuke’s weight, he feels safe, he feels at home.

 

It’s only when Sousuke’s phone rings about half an hour later that he peels his body away from Makoto’s.

Makoto finally sits up on the couch, looking guiltily at the sticky wetness pooling in the dented creases of the expensive leather, messing it up. His underwear is still tangled around his left ankle, and he cannot quite bring himself to put it back on.

 

“That was Kazuki. I left him with my father in the morning while you were still asleep. I figured we should have a talk.” Sousuke sits down next to him, still naked.

“And a fuck.” Makoto smiles, and this time, he means it.

“Well, yes. When have I ever been able to resist you?” Sousuke kisses his cheek, beaming at him.

 

“I…I didn’t realize you were on good terms with your father…” Makoto leans his head against Sousuke’s shoulder, enjoying the way in which the heat and sweat of their skins mingles pleasantly.

“I’m not. But he adores Kazuki and tolerates me because of him, though I don’t think he has entirely forgiven me.” Sousuke slides an arm around Makoto’s waist, pulling him closer.

“I should probably leave now. I, uh…I’m sort of seeing someone right now. I should explain everything to him before…” Makoto remembers Shuichi with a pang of guilt.

“Ahhhh, right. Shuichi, is it? He may have called you last night. And I may have answered the phone. And possibly told him to fuck off.” Sousuke smirks at Makoto, unable to resist stealing another kiss while Makoto looks thoroughly shocked.

“You…What….What did you say to him? I should call him…I should have been the one to tell him…” Makoto grabs his phone from the floor, where it fell as Sousuke undressed him before.

“You can do that later, Makoto.” Sousuke gently takes the phone away from Makoto and pulls him into his lap for another kiss, getting Makoto to straddle him.

“But…”

“But nothing. I’m drawing you a bath, and getting in with you. Then we’ll go pick Kazuki up from my father’s house. And get some dinner. Just the three of us. And you’ll come back home with us again. And you’ll sleep in my bed tonight. Again. And you’ll let me love you again. And no, I’m not really giving you a choice. I’ll tie you to my bed if I have to.” Sousuke nuzzles Makoto’s shoulder as he talks, his grip around Makoto’s waist firm as before, refusing to relent.

And Makoto knows that he shouldn’t be too hasty. That he should take his time, and get used to this again, slowly and patiently. But with Sousuke’s eyes fixed on him so intensely, and Sousuke’s smile burning a hole through his heart, he has already surrendered, and it is already too late.

It was always too late, since the first time he set his eyes on Sousuke, and felt his heart skip a beat.

In the beginning, he’d pretended he was the one in control, but that was never true.

Makoto had fallen in love without realizing it.                                 

It was his love for Sousuke that had brought him to this point in his life.

And now, he is simply tired of playing games, tired of pretending to not be in love when he is drowning in it.

 

As Makoto leans against Sousuke in the bath, he thinks of the empty life he would still be living if Sousuke had not been a part of it- still acting like a weak imitation of his friends’ personalities, still hating his father without being able to break away from him, still unable to do anything for himself…

He wonders what would have happened if Sousuke hadn’t come into his life.

And it’s true, Makoto doesn’t regret the 5 years they’ve spent apart either.

He’s taught himself to stand on his own two feet during this time. He’s become more honest with himself, found a job he loves with all his heart, and become so much stronger that before- even if he isn’t as strong yet as he’d like to be.

And it feels right, letting Sousuke back into his life this time.

 

Maybe the last time they were together just wasn’t right, wasn’t meant to be.

Maybe they fell in love before their time, in the wrong year.

 

But now, coming together again, it feels like destiny.

It feels like the beginning of something.

Something that will last a lifetime, and longer.


	27. In the Winter

 

The first snow of winter falls softly outside, covering the world in a shimmering whiteness.

Clad in a warm grey sweatshirt and pajama bottoms (pastel pink with little fluffy white lambs patterned all over them), Makoto wraps himself up more tightly in the huge, soft blanket covering up him and Kazuki.

It is barely 6 pm, but darkness has already fallen outside, making both of them drowsy.

Sighing a little, Makoto checks his phone for missed calls or messages, but there’s nothing.

It isn’t exactly cause for concern, as Sousuke mentioned his meeting would run late, but Makoto still can’t stop himself from being worried. Nervous and insecure, he keeps waiting for some unknown malice to wake him up from a life that seems more like a winter’s dream than reality.

He runs his fingers through Kazuki’s soft, raven locks- so much like Sousuke’s. It calms him down, and he smiles lovingly at the boy’s sleepy face.

“Time for your bath, Kazuki-kun.” Makoto helps Kazuki disentangle himself from the cozy warmth of their shared blanket and leads him to the spacious washroom.

Even though it’s only been a few months since Makoto started dating Sousuke, Makoto and Kazuki have become inseparable. Makoto has even developed a special ritual (counting to 4 and asking for the _saba_ -god’s mercy) for Kazuki to practice before shampooing his hair, so the boy’s eyes don’t sting.

He towel-dries Kazuki’s hair afterwards, and fetches his pajamas (the same pale pink with white lambs as Makoto’s- Kazuki insisted on buying matching PJs for them both the last time they went shopping, and Sousuke happily obliged). After settling Kazuki down on the couch in front of the TV again- wrapped up in the blanket which is still warm from before- Makoto heats up some curry and rice which Sousuke left in the fridge for their dinner.

Watching the food simmering on the stovetop, Makoto finds himself thinking back on the way his life has changed since he reunited with Sousuke. He blushes happily when he remembers Sousuke’s protective anger, and how he had insisted on going along with Makoto to have a ‘breakup talk’ with Shuichi.

Poor Shuichi. Makoto feels a little guilty and a tiny bit sad when he thinks about his ex. They had met up in a little family restaurant, as Makoto didn’t feel comfortable meeting in a personal space. Though Shuichi had never actually been violent, he was quick to anger, and sometimes used threats to get his way.

Sousuke had made Makoto tell him about his relationship with Shuichi, and everything else that had happened during their time apart, a couple of night after their reunion. They sat together in Sousuke’s bed long after Kazuki fell asleep, and Sousuke held Makoto, urging him to spill forth all his secrets. Makoto remembers how comfortable, how safe he felt with Sousuke’s arms wrapped around his waist, his head resting against Sousuke’s chest, letting all his hurt and heartache flow out of him in the form of hot tears and broken words.

Makoto had never really realized how possessive and aggressive Sousuke could get until now. Their previous relationship had been more physical than anything else, and just as it was becoming something more tender and personal, it had fallen apart.

Shuichi sat trembling in his seat, trying to avoid Sousuke’s glare, as Makoto told him it was over between them. The look of sadness in Shuichi’s eyes had surprised Makoto. After all, Shuichi had been by side when Makoto was alone. Their relationship was far from perfect, but he gave Makoto companionship when Makoto’s world became empty and unbearably lonely. He smiled at Makoto from across the table, and wished him luck. Before leaving, Shuichi had breathed deeply, and said he wished to have been able to love Makoto the way he deserved. And Makoto had felt like crying. But Sousuke’s arm around his shoulders had been forceful, leading him outside and away from his ex.

They had driven back in silence, and after picking up Kazuki from his grandfather’s, Sousuke ignored Makoto’s request to drop him home. Kazuki looked especially excited to have Makoto over for dinner, and by the time Sousuke had put his son to bed, Makoto was too tired to consider leaving. He fell asleep next to Sousuke on the couch, feeling at peace with himself and his life for the first time in years.

 

All these thoughts flutter happily around Makoto’s mind as he sets the table for two, and eats his dinner with Kazuki. Sousuke is an exceptionally good cook, and he enjoys spoiling his son and Makoto. After carefully examining Makoto’s body following the second time they made love as a proper couple, Sousuke became quite concerned about his lover. He had kissed Makoto all over, grumbling over how thin Makoto had gotten. Since then, he made sure to cook nutritious and tasty meals for Makoto, fussing over him in the same way as he fussed over Kazuki.

 

Kazuki and Makoto have just finished washing the dishes and are engaged in a friendly argument about Kazuki’s bedtime, when Sousuke comes back.

The first thing he does is envelop both Makoto and Kazuki in a bear hug, squeezing them while pretending to growl. Kazuki shrieks with laughter, holding on to both his father and Makoto.

After kissing Kazuki’s forehead, as is his habit, Sousuke places an unabashed kiss on Makoto’s lips, quietly saying “ _I’m home_ ”, making Makoto blush. Which is also becoming a habit with him.

 

Kazuki insists on Makoto reading him a story before he agrees to fall asleep. Sousuke sits beside his son, listening to Makoto’s soothing voice, thinking how lucky he is. He knows Makoto is still a little uncomfortable in this new relationship, but he cannot help but cling on to Makoto as hard as he can. He cannot imagine losing Makoto again, or letting Makoto feel unloved, unneeded for a single second.

But most of all, Sousuke is afraid of being without Makoto. He wants to bind Makoto to himself forever, to tangle up their lives in strands and strands of red thread.

 

After Kazuki falls asleep, Sousuke drags Makoto into the bath with him. Makoto rests his head sleepily against Sousuke’s chest, and plays with the hot water, making it ripple, the light reflected off its disturbed surface reminding him of the ocean. 

Afterwards, Sousuke pours out some red wine for them both- a gift from an Italian businessman, one of Sousuke’s clients. Wearing nothing but a fluffy light-green bathrobe with a couple of cherries embroidered on the front, Makoto throws his legs over Sousuke’s lap, enjoying the heady drink.

They end up kissing on the couch, Makoto straddling Sousuke’s lap, a habit they’ve remembered from the old days, and picked up again with a lot of enthusiasm.

Their lovemaking, which happens every night- in quiet, low-spoken voices and slow, measured gestures- is careful and consuming at the same time.

Tonight, with the red wine warming up their blood, it turns into something like a dance- slow yet frantic, the friction between their bodies increasing little by little, Sousuke’s hips twisting a little with every thrust into Makoto’s body, Makoto’s waist undulating underneath him, responding rhythmically to Sousuke’s every move.

“I love you, Makoto. So much, so much…” Sousuke’s voice trails off into a groan of pleasure as he cums inside Makoto.

 

Later on, lying next to Sousuke’s sleeping form in bed, Makoto feels the invasive wetness trickle between his thighs. Its sticky warmth on his skin is soothing somehow. He considers how his usual habit of cleaning up before falling asleep has become less of a habit and more of a nuisance recently. The room smells like the two of them, and their sex. This place, this bed- it all feels more like home to Makoto than anywhere he has ever been before.

 

Makoto considers it a blessing that Sousuke wakes up the earliest, giving Makoto time to shower and change the sheets, while getting Kazuki ready for school.  More and more of Makoto’s clothes and things keep ending up in Sousuke’s house. He thinks of a trip to the grocery store last week with Kazuki and Sousuke, during which he randomly picked up a tube of sheer pink lip gloss in sakura flavor. Not the kind he used to wear in Tokyo, but close enough. He puts it on every morning now, smiling at his reflection in the mirror. And again at night, before Sousuke inevitably starts kissing his neck, an eager hand shoved between his thighs.

Makoto feels like his new and old lives are merging together slowly, to form something coherent and whole- a space and a body he can occupy comfortably, finally feeling safe and sound in his own skin.

He falls asleep with a new kind of happiness settling deep inside his heart, softly and swiftly like dancing, twirling snowflakes.

 

*******

 

Makoto and Kazuki go to school together now.

Sousuke drops them off sometimes, but when the weather is good, Makoto insists on walking, as the school is fairly close to where Sousuke lives. They usually come home together too, Makoto holding Kazuki’s little palm tightly in his hand, listening carefully to the little boy’s chatter about his day at school.

 

When they get home this afternoon, Sousuke’s car is parked outside the house.

Makoto wonders why Sousuke is back so early, especially when he mentioned something about having a Skype-meeting with Rin and a Tokyo-based client later in the day.

There is an extra pair of shoes at the entrance. Freshly polished oxfords in burgundy-dyed leather. Flashy without being overwhelming.

Makoto frowns as he helps Kazuki undo the laces on his little boots, wondering why Sousuke hasn’t texted him about bringing a guest back.

 

There are quiet voices in the living room. As Makoto walks inside, with Kazuki bounding ahead in front of him and throwing himself at his father, he almost drops Kazuki’s schoolbag along with his own satchel.

That hair color is unmistakable.

Makoto recognizes Kisumi immediately, before his friend can turn around to face him, offering him an uncertain smile.

“We’ll let you two catch up, okay? I already put out some food, so make sure to eat. I’m taking Kazuki over to my father’s for a bit.” Sousuke lifts up a still uniformed Kazuki in his arms, and kisses Makoto’s lips lightly before walking out, ignoring his son’s curious protests. Kazuki is fascinated by the pink-haired stranger, and Makoto can hear his cries of “ _But why can’t we stay, Papa? I want to know if his hair is made of cotton candy!_ ” even after the door closes.

 

“Hey, Makoto.” Kisumi steps towards him cautiously.

Makoto feels tears burning in the corners of his eyes. Abandoning all restraint, he flings himself at his best friend, hugging him tightly around the waist, bawling like a child.

Kisumi falters for a second before wrapping his arms around Makoto, letting his own tears fall.

 

Once Makoto has calmed down a little- after drinking the glass of water Kisumi brings for him, both their eyes swollen and noses red- they both fall deep into conversation.

It feels like they’ve only been apart for a week. They talk hurriedly, all over each other, catching up, laughing together, feeling completely at ease, as if nothing is amiss between them anymore.

Kisumi talks about his time in Canada, how it helped him understand himself better and grow up, and his new job as a fashion photographer in Tokyo. Makoto is reluctant to talk about himself at first, but Kisumi has always known how to push the right buttons to get Makoto to open up.

It is only when Makoto’s stomach grumbles loudly, making them both laugh like children, that they stop talking, and eat the food Sousuke has prepared and left out for them.

 

“You look happy, Mako. You look like, well, _you_. You know, like you were when I first saw you, back in school. But not afraid anymore. Not anxious and sad, like you used to be. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. This whole time…I’m sorry, Mako.” Kisumi repeats his apology once more- the same one he has been reciting over and over again like a chant since they started talking- as Makoto pours out tea for them.

“You had your own problems to deal with Kisumi. It’s okay. I’m fine now. And I am… _happy_. Very happy.” Makoto smiles at Kisumi, biting into a piece of sakura mochi.

They drink their tea in relative quiet before Makoto asks the question he has been turning over and over in his mind since he first saw Kisumi.

“How is…How is Haru?” Makoto has missed Haru the most, but he doesn’t think it would be quite right to admit that in front of Kisumi.

 

Haru’s presence in Makoto’s life had always been a source of comfort, wisdom, and courage. Through the agonizing loneliness and uncertainty of the last 5 years, Makoto has craved being able to talk to Haru the most- to ask for his advice, to gaze into his steady blue eyes and feel instantly at ease with himself.

But all of that got messed up when Haru confessed to him, and Makoto bluntly refused his affection.

He lost both Haru and Kisumi that night, and the pain of it still rankles inside his chest.

 

“Oh. You haven’t been in touch with him, then?” Kisumi looks at Makoto carefully, putting down his cup.

“Not really, no. I haven’t…I didn’t really talk to anyone after I left Tokyo.” Makoto looks away from Kisumi, trying to hide his eyes, which are threatening to betray him with a fresh flurry of tears.

“He is worried about you, Makoto. I…I saw him last week, after I came back to Japan.” Kisumi’s lips tilt into a half-smile at the memory.

Makoto doesn’t press Kisumi anymore, knowing that his friend will tell him everything when he’s good and ready.

“Makoto. Come back with me. Just for a bit. To Tokyo. Everyone wants to see you. We miss you. Nagisa and Gou and Haru- they have no idea what you’re up to, where you are. Sei-san won’t say a word, not even to Gou. If Rin hadn’t let it slip that you were back with Sousuke-san, I wouldn’t have known where to find you.” Kisumi reaches out for Makoto’s hand across the table, and grips it tightly.

“I’m sorry Kisumi. I just wanted to hide away for a while…I didn’t want to worry anyone, I just thought…But I’m still not ready to see everyone. Not yet, Kisumi. I’m sorry, but I can’t just yet. I just need to…I’m still building up my life. I need to be sure…I need to be able to stand on own two feet, without any support, and face my fears before I can come back. I hope you understand.” Makoto smiles his old smile then, eyes closed and head slightly tilted, letting Kisumi know that everything will be fine, by and by.

Kisumi leaves in the evening, once Sousuke and Kazuki have returned, with ice cream and chocolate pastries for Makoto.

Kisumi refuses the invitation to stay for dinner, mumbling something about having promised to be back by midnight. He doesn’t exactly say it, but Makoto knows from his slight blush and half-smile that someone back in Tokyo, someone with dark hair and blue eyes, is probably waiting impatiently for Kisumi’s return.

Promising to try and visit during the winter holidays, Makoto hugs his friend goodbye.

Makoto and Kazuki settle down in front of the TV in their favorite blanket, feasting on chocolate pastries, while Sousuke drives Kisumi to the airport.

 

That night, Sousuke just holds Makoto close in bed, stroking his hair, rocking him back and forth like an anxious mother trying to get her child to sleep soundly.

Makoto thinks he will cry again, but he doesn’t.

He falls asleep, dreaming of sakura trees in spring, and thousands of blossoms drifting to the ground like flakes of snow.

A childish voice laughs and there is a blur of pink as a little boy spins around in a tattered dress underneath a blue spring sky.

Though his body is bruised, his limbs feel light as air as he twirls and spins, laughing all the while.

 

When Makoto wakes up in the morning, there is a smile playing on his lips.

It only becomes brighter and happier as Sousuke kisses him, and asks him what he wants for breakfast.

Makoto asks Sousuke if there any chocolate pastries left over, and when Sousuke reprimands him for his unhealthy food choices, Makoto pouts, crossing his arms in faux annoyance at his lover.

Sousuke laughs, and kisses him again, taking his time.

They only break apart when Kazuki rushes in, wondering what’s taking so long for his father to make breakfast.

 

Since it’s the weekend, and none of them have anywhere to be, Sousuke relents and lets Makoto and Kazuki enjoy leftover pastries for breakfast, as he nibbles on a piece of buttered toast.

Looking at Makoto as he licks icing from the corner of his mouth, Sousuke cannot help but think of the way things were before, when he first fell in love with Makoto.

Something of the spoiled, beautiful boy is returning, slowly and self-assuredly.

Makoto catches his eye and smiles at him, curving his lips a little suggestively, licking icing off his fingertip.

Sousuke sits back and watches him, full of awe and admiration and boundless love.

 

It’s like watching a rose blossom in spring, after the passing of a cold winter that has lasted too long.


	28. And All the Years to Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long-ish chapter.  
> Because it's the last one!

“Stop fussing so much, please. Everything looks perfect. Come over here, and relax a little will you?” Kisumi pats his thigh, beckoning Haru over.

It’s hardly a surprise when his face ends up getting in the way of a flying cushion.

But what would have made Kisumi pout and act grumpy a few years ago now brings a childish flash of joy, lighting up his face.

He stays on the living room sofa, watching his partner frantically pacing in front of the oven in a dark blue apron adorned with a saba print (part of an anniversary present from Kisumi last year), monitoring the ramekins filled with slowly rising chocolate soufflé.

 

Haru and Makoto haven’t seen each other in a while, and Kisumi can understand the agitation his lover must be feeling.

Their last meeting was around 3 years ago, at New Year’s, when Makoto and Sousuke came by for a quick visit to Tokyo, and stayed only for an hour.

Awkward apologies were blurted out by both parties, and a tentative peace was reached.

Now Makoto sends Haru polaroids of his family and himself once a month. Cute little scrapbooks decorated with cat stickers, their pages sweetly scented by flowers pressed inside, preserved carefully.

And Haru replies regularly and diligently with little accounts of life in Tokyo. Sketches of skyscrapers, watercolors of stray cats that he comes across while walking around, searching for inspiration in the suburbs of the city- he puts them all on little bits of paper and mails them to Makoto.

 

***********

 

Makoto grew up in front of Haruka, their mothers being best friends, and Mrs. Tachibana always bringing her woes to Mrs. Nanase’s door.

Often, little Makoto with a tear-stained face would be handed over to Haru, while their mothers discussed adult matters. At first, Haru thought of this as a nuisance. But Makoto was such a quiet, helpful little child that Haru’s heart melted despite his best efforts.

So Haru-nii became little Mako-chan’s unofficial protector and tutor while he was still in high school. He remembers the time when he came home to find Makoto sleeping in his bed, in a tattered pink dress and bruises all over his small, breakable body. He remembers feeling a vicious anger rising up in him that he didn’t think himself capable of. How his father had to physically restrain him from going after Makoto’s father, how he held Makoto’s body close to his own through the night, trying to take away the pain.

And even after Haru started university, he made sure to take time out for Makoto. Lessons every weekend. Trips to the aquarium once a month.

He remembers pushing Makoto away when the teenaged boy started changing the way he dressed and talked, probably to fit in better at school. Haru had very explicitly told Makoto he did not approve, and stopped tutoring him for a month. Only when Makoto has fallen asleep outside his apartment door, refusing to leave until Haru let him in, did he relent. At that time, Haru didn’t realize he was simply jealous of the attention Makoto was starting to attract from other people. Other men.

Haru still isn’t quite sure when he started feeling differently about Makoto, but the surety of his desire for Makoto had become obvious when Makoto was 16. When Haru had pulled off a middle-aged bodyguard off a half-naked Makoto.

Haru had never been a very angry person, but when he got mad, he lost control. He said and did things he did not mean and could not really take back. He had almost beaten the bodyguard to a pulp before Seijuro managed to pull him off. Haru did not admit to himself that the reason he was so furious was that he had instantly imagined himself in the bodyguard’s place, and hated himself for it.

And after that, the distance between them increased, and Haru-nii became Haru-sensei.

No more shared secrets, no more trips to the aquarium, no more sleepovers.

 

Catching Makoto in bed with Kisumi was probably a turning point in Haru’s life.

Kisumi, the devil disguised as a pink-haired pretty boy.

Kisumi, who had winked at Haru while getting a blow job from Makoto, inviting Haru to join them.

Kisumi, who showed up outside Haru’s apartment on the night of his 20th birthday, half drunk, to confess his undying love for Haru.

And Haru made the mistake of letting in Makoto’s poor, befuddled friend, let Kisumi sleep in his bed for the night. What difference would it make anyway? The boy passed out before Haru even managed to tuck him in under the covers.

 

He’d woken up with his cock in Kisumi’s mouth, of course. It felt too good- the dazed pleasure entrancing his body at the moment of half-waking, half-sleeping.

_“Pretend I’m someone else, Haruka. Just close your eyes and think of the one you love.”_

And Haru tried. Tried to think of green eyes and pink lips, but all he could ever see was Kisumi.

His mind and his heart refused to converge, and he kept letting Kisumi into his bed, while pining after Makoto.

Thinking he was unworthy of Makoto, thinking he didn’t want to sully Makoto’s purity, Haru lived in agony for years, trusting his body to Kisumi’s hands, keeping Makoto safe in his heart.

He would have lived this way for the rest of his life if he hadn’t seen Makoto that night- dishevelled, messed up, orgasmic- with his brute of a bodyguard’s cock thrusting inside his asshole.

Only this time, there was no one to save.

No more reasons to keep pretending Makoto was some sort of idol, untouched by human lust, to be protected and worshipped from a distance.

 

Haru remembers confessing to Makoto, remembers the look of surprise in Makoto’s eyes. And that hint of disappointment. That little flicker in Makoto’s eyes that asked: _So you see me that way too? A pretty boy you’d like to pin down and fuck. And is that all I am to you? Is that all you want from me?_

He remembers the way Kisumi lashed out at Makoto.

He remembers the day it all fell apart.

The day he lost both Makoto and Kisumi.

 

By the time he figured everything out, Haru thought it was already too late.

He’d always wanted to drift through life, taking things as they were.

And now he’d lost it all.

Sitting by the side of the road.

Swimming listlessly down a quiet stream.

All on his own.

And that was fine, wasn’t it?

Being alone.

That’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? To not have to worry about someone else, not be burdened by the weight of another’s heart.

 

Locked up inside himself, the days swept past him in a greying succession.

Until a little postcard from Canada made its way to his apartment, with a few simple words written on its back.

Haru was never good with words.

At that time, it seemed like the only logical thing to do. So he boarded the first flight to Toronto, and showed up outside Kisumi’s apartment, his hair crowned with snowflakes, his nose red and raw with cold.

Kisumi didn’t need him to say anything anyway.

Not in that moment, at least.

Haru remembers the way Kisumi’s arms felt around his waist, warm fingers unbuttoning his coat, feeling the cold skin underneath his sweater, kissing the snowflakes away from his eyelashes.

Things took on a kind of clarity that night- something Haru had never thought possible for someone like him.

For the first time, he fell asleep beside Kisumi after they made love.

And everything felt _right_.

 

Now, living with Kisumi is the most natural thing in the world for Haru.

Like coming up for air after staying underwater for too long.

Haru’s heart and mind have finally reconciled with each other.

Makoto is back on the pedestal of ivory and jade where he belongs in Haru’s heart.

And Kisumi…

Kisumi’s name is scrawled over every inch of Haru’s skin, his hot breath in Haru’s lungs, his heart beating inside Haru’s chest. Such obscene intimacy. An addiction Haru can no longer live without satisfying.

 

***********

 

 

 

The doorbell rings at the same time the oven goes off.

Smiling, Kisumi goes to open the door for their guests, while Haru struggles with hot-from-the-oven ramekins, filled with perfect servings of chocolate soufflé.

“Oh it smells divine in here!” Makoto’s voice is as cheerful as ever. Even over the rich smell of chocolate, Haru catches a whiff of his citrusy, sakura perfume. Refreshing and lovely.

His hands trembling a little, Haru carefully places the ramekins on a cooling tray before removing his apron.

Makoto makes a beeline for Haru, and envelops him in a warm hug.

But it isn’t a two person hug.

Snuggled between Haru and Makoto- sleeping soundly against Makoto’s chest while tucked inside a woolen wrap- is a small baby girl, dressed in a pale green sheep onesie.

Her cheeks are rosy and pink and she looks perfectly happy.

Smiling at the look of surprise on Haru’s face, Makoto beams at the little sleeping child.

“Oh right. I was going to tell you, but I thought it’d be nicer to just bring her for a visit. Haru-chan, say hello to Michiko! The newest member of our family!”

Haru can only gaze in awe at the little bundle of fluff and rosy cheeks.

“So you finally managed to knock Makoto up, eh?” Kisumi claps Sousuke on his shoulder, inviting a glare and a growl.

But Sousuke cannot hold back his smile as he helps Kazuki remove his coat, and watches him run over to Makoto and Michiko.

 

The little Yamazaki family makes itself comfortable on the sofa in Haru and Kisumi’s apartment.

 Makoto gave up his surname soon after he moved in with Sousuke, and registered himself in the Yamazaki family directory.

Gou- an up and coming lawyer in Tokyo- helped Makoto and Sousuke sort out the legal details so they could be a proper family. Even though Sousuke felt it was enough for them to just be together, he knew Makoto would never feel entirely safe until he had a solid sense of belonging. So he asked for Gou’s help, bought a pair of matching gold rings, and proposed in the best way he could.

He dropped Kazuki off to his father’s house, and surprised Makoto with his favorite chocolate cake one evening after work. Later, Sousuke filled up their bathtub with rose petals, and asked Makoto to be his after drinking champagne from his mouth.  

So Makoto Tachibana happily became Makoto Yamazaki.

A year later, Sousuke and Makoto put in an adoption request, and Michiko found her way into a loving home.

 

Michiko wakes up from her nap, and finds herself held in strange arms. A pair of blue eyes is looking down at her curiously. Her little baby mind finds a deep peace in their depth, and she smiles happily.

Haru fusses over the baby without realizing it, and only catches himself when he feels Kisumi’s gaze fixed on him.

His face flushes and he looks away quickly, only to see Makoto giving him a knowing smile.

Flustered, he hands over the baby to Sousuke and runs to the kitchen, busying himself with setting up the dinner table. Makoto walks up to him, still smiling, and quietly helps with putting out the cutlery.

A silvery thread links them together, as before, and they seem to understand each other without saying much.

Makoto’s smile is a gentle reassurance, a signal that Haru might just be ready to have a family of his own with Kisumi if he wants. And Haru averts his eyes, his cheeks reddening a little, affirming that yes, it might very well be time for him and Kisumi to take the next step.

 

***********

 

 

Evening shadows deepen outside, and the city lights up brighter than during the day. Inside Kisumi and Haru’s apartment, there is the sound of laughter, of clinking cutlery, of wine being poured into narrow glasses, and the cooing of a happy baby whose brother is playing peekaboo with her.

Night begins to fall, draped in a silent blanket of snow.

 

Haru and Kisumi have volunteered to keep the children for the night so Makoto and Sousuke can have some time to relax by themselves. Though Makoto is especially reluctant to leave behind baby Michiko, Sousuke’s insistent hand on his thigh under the dining table, gently caressing him in all the right places, manages to finally convince him.

Since adopting Michiko, the two of them have rarely had time to indulge in each other. Makoto is too exhausted by the end of the day to do anything but collapse in bed. Sousuke is responsible for looking after Michiko if she wakes up in the night. Their intimacy has suffered as a result, and Sousuke especially feels too pent up. He can’t even remember the last time he was able to hear Makoto’s voice moaning his name, his face flushed, his nipples puffy from being sucked and bitten too much.

Kisumi gives Sousuke a thumbs up behind Makoto’s back as they’re getting ready to leave, and earns himself a smack on the head courtesy of Haru.

 

Kazuki is excited about sleeping over at his uncles’ house, and solemnly assures his parents that he will take good care of Michiko.

His plans to stay up late and watch anime with Uncle Kisumi soon fall apart, as he dozes off on the couch, tired out from all the excitement. Kisumi carries him off to bed, and Haru follows them with Michiko fast asleep in her portable baby cot, placing her carefully next to the bed.

Haru is ready to lie down next to Kazuki, exhausted, but Kisumi tugs at the sleeve of his sweater, beckoning him back out into the living room. Looking away from his lover, Haru follows him, and lets himself be pushed onto the couch, on his back, as Kisumi climbs on top of him.

“I love you, Haru”, Kisumi’s whispery breath brushes against Haru’s earlobe as his sweater is lifted up, and Kisumi’s hands start exploring the skin on his taut stomach, his hips, touching lightly, kissing him on the neck.

Biting his lower lip, red in the face, pinned under Kisumi, it feels like every time is his first. He cannot escape the embarrassment of it, the overwhelming lust between their bodies, the gentle way in which Kisumi kisses him on the mouth, savoring his taste.

Most of all, he cannot understand the look of pure joy on Kisumi’s face when they make love. As if all Kisumi’s wishes have come true at once. Haru doesn’t think he deserves that kind of devotion. But he is thankful for it anyway.

Haru’s arms wrap themselves around Kisumi’s waist, and he sighs gently, too tired and too satisfied to worry about anything other than the way he feels in his lover’s embrace.

 

***********

 

Sousuke loosens his tie and pours himself a glass of complimentary champagne offered by the hotel. The bedsheets are crisply clean, without a crease on them. He smirks to himself, imagining how they will look in the morning, all messy and crumpled up.

Before they left, Kisumi quietly handed Makoto an innocuous looking paper bag. Despite Sousuke’s curiosity, Makoto would not let him look at its contents, and placed a gentle finger on his lips when Sousuke asked what was hidden in it.

As soon as they arrived in the hotel room, Makoto hurriedly left for the washroom, paper bag clutched in one hand, and locked Sousuke out when he tried to follow, saying he needed to freshen up.

Now Sousuke is waiting for his lover to come out again, trying not to get carried away, imagining the things he would like to do to Makoto tonight.

He is on his second glass of champagne, nibbling at a strawberry, when the washroom door unlocks and Makoto steps outside, blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, and fidgeting all over.

This is a side of Makoto that Sousuke loves and adores. This vulnerable shyness, this uncertain desire. Seductive and innocent at the same time. It’s what made him fall in love with Makoto in the first place.

 

Makoto is wearing a white lace babydoll, with his pink puffy nipples poking through the thin fabric. Underneath, Sousuke can make out a matching lacey thong, with silk ribbons tied on either side, sitting low against Makoto’s slender hips.

To complete the picture, Makoto is wearing white silk stocking that reach all the way to the middle of his thighs, held up by lace and silk suspenders, also in white.

There is a hint of sparkly pink gloss on Makoto’s lips, and he smells like a bouquet of heady summer roses.

For a while, Sousuke can only gape at his lover, mesmerized by his beauty.

 

“D’you like it?” Makoto looks up at Sousuke uncertainly, still standing at the washroom door, playing with the hem of his babydoll.

Sousuke gulps and breathes deeply before patting his left thigh with one hand, and beckoning Makoto to him with the other.

Visibly flustered, Makoto lowers his gaze and walks slowly towards Sousuke, straddling his lap.

Sousuke lifts up Makoto’s face to his own, and takes in the sparkling green eyes, the flushed cheeks, and full lips.

“You’re more beautiful than anything or anyone I have ever seen. You’re more than I deserve, Makoto.”

Makoto smiles again, and hides his face against Sousuke’s shoulder.

“We never really had a honeymoon. So I thought maybe tonight…We could do something special, Sousuke.”

“You’re the most beautiful bride in the world, my Makoto.”

 

Makoto whimpers like an overgrown kitten as Sousuke pushes him down on the bed, running his firm hands all over Makoto’s lace and silk-draped body.

Taking a sip of champagne, Sousuke presses a deep kiss into Makoto’s mouth, sharing the intoxicating drink between them, letting it run out of Makoto’s mouth in thin streams, mixed with both of their saliva. Makoto’s body loosens up and his arms fall to his sides as he gives in to Sousuke’s aggressive desire.

When Sousuke’s tongue traces a path down his neck, his collarbones, and finds his lace-covered nipples, Makoto moans out loud. He almost bites back the sound before remembering that the two of them are alone tonight, and he has nothing to worry about.

It feels good to let go, to let himself drown in this pleasure.

It makes Makoto feels nostalgic, makes him think about the way they used to be, and marvel at how far they’ve come.

Together again.

 

Makoto is brought back to the present as Sousuke’s tongue glides past his navel, and his hands lift up the babydoll to expose the thong which is barely covering Makoto’s dripping cock.

The lewd sight of his lover in stained white lace makes Sousuke lose his head.

Licking the length of Makoto’s half-exposed erection just once, Sousuke pulls him up a little by his hair and kisses him sloppily.

One hand still tangled in Makoto’s brunet locks, Sousuke uses his free hand to pinch and twist Makoto’s nipples, pressing down on their pointy pink nubs to make Makoto cry out with pain and pleasure.

Makoto is pushed onto his back again, and Sousuke pauses to take in the sight of his messed up lover- chest heaving, body flushed, green eyes glazed with lust.

Sousuke takes off his tie impatiently, and unbuttons his trousers to let out his hardness.

His hands push apart Makoto’s thighs, and with a leering smile, Sousuke pushes his cock into the constrained fabric of Makoto’s thong. Makoto’s whole body jolts with the unexpected sensation of Sousuke’s slick cock rubbing against his own erection, held together by delicate white lace.

They share another champagne-flavored kiss as Sousuke continues to rub their erections together, whispering obscene words into Makoto’s ears.

“Look at how wet you are, Makoto. You like my cock kissing yours, right?”

“I-I do…Uhhnnn, Sou-san, it feels so good. Keep doing it to me. Mess me up, make me all yours, aaahnnnn…”

 

Sometimes, when Makoto is really caught up in their lovemaking, he starts calling Sousuke “Sou-san”, that old term of endearment from their past lives.

Makoto feels especially vulnerable to Sousuke then, and he is overwhelmed by a mixture of love and desire- an urge to dominate Makoto and spoil him at the same time.

 

Sousuke thrusts harder on top of Makoto, sealing their lips together, until Makoto’s white lace thong is completely wet and sticky.

Spent, he collapses on top of Makoto, waiting until he’s caught his breath again.

Makoto’s arms slide around Sousuke’s waist, caressing his back.

They stay together locked in a gentle embrace for half the night, talking in low voices about everything and nothing at all.

Sousuke loves the way Makoto’s breathy laugh feels against his neck.

He wants Makoto to be happy and content and safe for the rest of his life.

He wants to protect Makoto, and love him with everything he has.

He realizes he has always wanted to love and protect Makoto, from the first moment he laid eyes on this green-eyed beauty now caught in bed underneath him.

 

A little past midnight, Makoto slinks out from underneath Sousuke’s body, reaching out for the dish of strawberries and a glass of champagne.

Sousuke watches him eat and drink, clad in lace and silk, partially covered in both their cum.

His desire rages within him again, rushing through his blood, making him hard.

Sousuke gets off the bed and removes all his clothes, his eyes fixed on Makoto, who is luxuriously sucking on a strawberry, enjoying the sight of his lover undressing before him.

Sousuke’s erection throbs with anticipation as Makoto abandons his strawberry, and crawl on all fours towards the edge of the bed. His eager tongue flicks out and licks the precum dripping from the slit of Sousuke’s cock, before he kisses its tip. Sousuke’s fingers grip Makoto’s hair again as he thrusts into Makoto’s warm mouth, pulling out before he cums.

He climbs onto the bed, pushing Makoto down beneath him, and kisses him frantically.

They roll around, lips locked, hot, sweat-slick bodies pressed up against each other.

It seems wasteful to Sousuke to undress Makoto.

He looks like a fallen angel, all dressed in snowy white.

It makes Sousuke want to corrupt him, pin him down, fuck him, make Makoto a slave to his desire.

 

Makoto finds himself on all fours again, with Sousuke’s tongue buried deep in his entrance.

The sensation is too much, and he collapses onto the bed, his breath ragged and his mind hazy.

All he knows is that he wants Sousuke inside him.

He stumbles up again and kisses Sousuke, knowing the taste on his lover’s tongue to be his own.

Before he knows it, he is pushing aside his thong and lowering himself on Sousuke’s erect cock.

As he starts to move on top of his lover, Makoto loses all sense of self, of time, of reality.

Everything is in this moment. His whole life, lived through to the end, as Sousuke cums inside him, melding their bodies together. Falling on top of Sousuke, exhausted, his lover’s cock still inside him, Makoto can no longer tell where he ends and Sousuke begins.

He falls asleep on top of Sousuke, unable to tell the difference between waking and dreaming.

Sousuke holds him close, patting his head, talking to him in a soft voice about their past, their present, their future.

The happiness of this night is too perfect, the feeling of contentment too complete.

 

Makoto wakes up just before dawn and finds himself sleeping next to Sousuke, wrapped up in his arms. His lace thong has been removed, and he can tell that Sousuke has cleaned him up, though there is still a feeling of wetness inside him.

He sits up in bed, and gazes out at the still-dark sky.

The city lights feel so familiar, as if he’s never left Tokyo.

As if he and Sousuke have always been together, since the day they first met.

It’s nice to pretend.

Makoto shakes his head, laughing at this harmless self-deception, and places a kiss on Sousuke’s forehead.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep again, but the next thing he knows, the hotel room is brimful of daylight, and Sousuke is gently kissing him all over his body to wake him up.

Before checking out, they make love once more.

They put their clothes back on, stealing shy glances at each other, as if they’ve only just become lovers for the first time.

 

***********

 

 

Kazuki is waiting impatiently for his parents, who have promised to take him to a cat café, and to meet a new grandmother (and an aunt and uncle who are twins, which makes them more exciting than regular aunts and uncles) for the first time.

Michiko is still sleeping soundly in Haru’s arms.

Tired from their one-night escapade, Makoto and Sousuke happily accept Haru’s offer of a home-cooked lunch.

This evening, Makoto and Sousuke will take their children to a cat café before meeting their friends for drinks. Nagisa and Rei, who got married in Australia last year, have invited them all for a belated wedding reception. Seijuro and Gou, who got engaged a couple of months ago, intend to announce their wedding date.

Tonight, Sousuke and Makoto will sleep in Makoto’s mother’s guest room, in her newly acquired condo, bought with her divorce settlement funds (She decided that enough was enough when her husand tried to raise his hand against Ran for bringing her first girlfriend home, and left him for good). Kazuki will be snuggled between them, kicking out at odd angles as he dreams about cats drinking coffee out of china cups. Michiko’s cot will rest by their bed, and Sousuke will get up once during the night to give her milk and change her diaper.

Tomorrow, Makoto and Sousuke will return home with their children, and carry on with their lives.

_Together._

And for all the years to come, their love will glow like a bright star in the night sky, always guiding them to each other, keeping them tethered, no matter what the future brings.

_Always together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not realize that this fic has been going on for more than a year now? But now this excuse for me writing SouMako smut comes to an end. Thank you for reading it, and supporting it, and sticking to it until the final chapter.  
> Btw, a spin-off fic by happy_harkey_choco about Makoto's ex-lover Shuichi and the barkeeper Tanaka is ongoing (linked below and a lot of fun to read), if you're having trouble letting go.  
> Without the positive comments and the continuous support of readers, I would not have been able to finish this. I appreciate it all very much.  
> *showers all readers with unwanted cuddles and hugs*  
> (づ￣ ³￣)づ

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [What's Your Name Again?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5255741) by [happy_harkey_choco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy_harkey_choco/pseuds/happy_harkey_choco)




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